I want to explain my decision to post certain things in my last post. There aren’t many books that I have read which describe “a first time” accurately in my opinion. Everything I had heard and read before that night was full of wonderful feelings of excitement, pure joy and ecstasy. “The earth MOVED, the Angels wept and the Heavens opened up in song” and many other things I found out were so NOT true. I thought all those feelings I felt in my heart and physically from kissing, tenderness and being so closely held…well, making love would be an even more intense feeling. When it‘s your first time, it so isn‘t all that… I thought of a more appropriate phrase “Love Hurts!”
When my Mother gave me “the talk” in 7th grade, she said “When two people love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together they make love. It is a wonderful, joyful time in a young woman’s life. It is a truly wonderful experience. God made us this way so we could enjoy life together with one very special man.” That was IT. She didn’t say anything else. Ever. Not even the night before my wedding.
I had the talk with Oldest Daughter and I told her - When you think you have the right guy you better be ready to walk down the isle. I know it isn’t realistic to think you would wait until your wedding night but hey, I can hope. It is a great gift to give yourself to your husband as a virgin because he will know no one else has ever touched you. Think of how upset you get when your brother or sister uses your toothbrush. That is a toothbrush, that goes in your mouth. Think about the mechanics of sex…(pause for her to think over what parts go where). Yeah, you want to make sure its not contaminated right? STD testing is FREE and you should have your hubby tested before you get married.
Anyway, the first time is a bit painful experience but if you are getting married you already know you love each other and will spend the rest of your lives together. The pain is not like someone dropping a piano on you, its more like banging your private area into the corner of the coffee table over and over until the guy reaches his climax. You might have a burning sensation around your abdomen and some abdominal muscle pain. This is normal and it wont last very long. If it does then come to me and we will talk it over. It won’t always feel like that. After many, many times it is actually really, really enjoyable. Incredible even! The thing is you don’t want to have to go through all of the initial physical pain if you are not going to be with that person forever.
I really, REALLY wish someone would have told me! I was not at all prepared for my first time. Or the times after that. It really took a long time for it to actually feel incredible. I couldn’t understand why in the world so many girls from my high school were so willing to have sex. Not only was it uncomfortable it was also very messy and a bit gross. “Wet Spot”, um, ewww! Then you think about all of those guys having sex in their cars? The cars they loved more than anyone. There are oh so many cars I wouldn’t have sat in, front seat or back, had I known about wet spots before the Cozy. Like anyone who ever dated Nicky or even Giggles and many of the guys in band. Guys in band use to drive me home after practice, many of which I knew were sexually active with whichever girlfriend they had at the time. Again, Ewww! I would have walked home if I had known how messy sex was.
Well, I hope everyone forgives me for my posts on sex. It’s my blog and I can write what I like but I truly didn’t want to offend anyone. I only thought it was fair to write it as it was not dress it up pretty or just say “we did it.” I also want to add that Ronnie didn’t do anything wrong. My body just wasn’t use to sex…yet.