Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I Beat A Port-A-Potty To Death

Years ago when I started out in this field of work (mostly a man’s world) I was employed by a construction company. Although we were located at an actual construction site my work was performed only in the office trailer. The money was good and the hours were ok so I took the job. Having never worked on a construction site I really had no idea what to expect. I thought of it as just another job in another office. For the first few months it was just like any other office. Things I had to adapt to were small work area, nearest restaurant was miles away and so was the only in door plumbing.

Fall seemed to last only a minute and winter came one morning like an unexpected splash in the face. On my way in to work my car was making an unidentifiable noise. There was no place to pull over so I would have to stay irritated and worried for 50 miles before I could check under the hood. I arrive at work and the noise seems to have disappeared but the damage is done. I am grossly irritated and in a very foul mood.

I can grumble to myself privately very well. In fact any time someone said hello or asked me a question I was the epitome of cheer and pep! No matter how irritated, upset or angry I get somehow I manage to keep up a outward cheerful disposition.

For some reason or other I could not make my daily trip to the in-door plumbing a few miles away. I was forced to use …the port-a-potty. I was extremely grossed out by this but, well, I really needed to…you know. So I put on my coat and reach the plastic door of dread. I open the door and I see this very large, very brightly colored SPIDER!! Have I ever mentioned how terrified I am of any kind of bug? Especially SPIDERS?! This one had very bright colors. If a snake has bright colors that means it could be poisonous right? My thinking was, wouldn’t the same hold true for spiders?

I have to go, I really do. I am resolved to “get over it” and just do it. Sooo, I march back into the office trailer and pull a broom from the closet. I march right back to the door of total grossness and fling it open with one quick swoop. While holding the end of the broom handle I thrust the broom in and out of the port a potty at an extremely rapid pace, jamming it in all the corners and just about beating the potty to death! All the while screaming “DIE! DIE! DIE!”

Just as I am doing this a group of construction workers are passing by …laughing so hard they could hardly walk. They did not know there was a spider in there. All they saw was a frustrated, girly-girl beating a potty to death.

I returned to my desk, grabbed my car keys and heading towards town where they had running water. I never used the port-a-potty, far too gross and scary for this girly-girl.

Oh and that unidentifiable noise my car was making…it was just a rock in my hub cap.

Pinks and Blues is chatting about the Ladies Room.

What is your worst Bathroom or Work conditions story?


Worker Mommy said...

Ha, so funny!

I too am extremely grossed out by port a pottys and would rather pee my pants then use one of them.

Or there are always bushes that need watering ;)

Butrfly4404 said...


GREAT post! I yell "DIE" when I'm killing bugs, too! hahahahah!

I only use PoP's when I'm intoxicated. Good rule. :)

Brillig said...

Oh. MYGOSH! I'm seriously laughing so hard!!!!!!!

I SO wanna beat up a porta potty now!

pinks & blues girls said...

There have been plenty of times I have wanted to beat a port-a-potty with a stick, spider or no spider! Those things are G-R-O-S-S. And I can't imagine having to go in with a jacket!! EWWW!!

Jane, P&B Girls

Canadian flake said...

hope you don't mind me popping in...I came here via buttrfly...and I have to say this was hilarioussssssss..wayyyyyy too

Hope you don't mind if I pop in to say hi again sometime?

MommasWorld said...

Welcome to Mommas World Canadian flake.

I was really surprised and thrilled to see this on Butrfly's list today. My children still think this is one of the funniest things I have done. When they hear this story they laugh just as hard as the day it happened. I laugh about it too.

exskindiver said...

hello momma--
thanks for dropping in on my midlife epiphany thereby leading me to this PoP story. Verrry funny.
Just your descriptions made me almost smell the darn thing.
i agree with worker mommy--bushes make better restrooms than the PoPs.
i have to go back to see if you were successful in killing the spider.