THE UNTOLD HISTORY OF BARBIE...

I was shocked when I heard how Kelly's mother abandoned her when she was just a baby. Apparently Kelly's mother knew she was not a good mother at all and Kelly would be much better off if Barbie took care of her. One day when Kelly's mother went out she decided it was time to leave. She never came back. She did love Kelly and that is why she left her with Barbie. Barbie is so loved by all and so kind. She has taken in so many children who were abandoned by their mothers. This was the scenario my 7 yr old came up with while playing with Kelly's Klub house and many Kelly friends.

I was not paying much attention to what she was saying due to the fact I was mostly out of breath. Then I heard "her mother abandoned her." I was like WHAT? Who? Is it a girl from school? Does she need a place to stay? Who is taking care of her? My daughter laughed and explained her scenario as to why Kelly is with her big sister Barbie but you never see Kelly & Barbie's mother. There is no Barbie's mother doll in all the Barbies I gave her from when I was little. There is no Barbie's mother from the enormous box of Barbies her big sister gave her. There isn't even a Barbie's mother in the "Barbie Collectors" book she purchased. "No mention of her ever so she must have done something really bad like being a not so good mother."

In all my Barbie years I never thought about Barbie's parents. I know she is a doll, Snow White knows she is a doll but figures there has to be more to the family make up than what is on the store shelves. A few years before Snow White was born I did think of something jokingly I thought of Barbie. She and Ken must have been married at one time but were divorced...she had everything, the Barbie Corvette, the Barbie Dream House, Barbie's dogs, Barbie's horses, everything was Barbie's. Ken...well he pretty much had the clothes on his back. Since then I have heard others say the same thing about a Barbie/Ken divorce. I was an adult when I thought that up. The others I have heard it from were also adults, not children.

OLD AS DIRT

I knew my children thought I was old long ago but did not realize how old until I was 26. On my 26th birthday as I dropped my son off at preschool he told his friends "Today is my Mommy's birthday! In an almost whispered aww he says "She is twenty-six years old" as if it was incredible I could have lived to this ancient age. My response to the dear sweet, elderly ladies of the daycare, "I older than dirt. I was there when they were drawing up the blue prints for dirt."

Since then when a young man makes a pass at me thinking I am his age I say "I older than dirt. I was there when they were drawing up the blue prints for dirt." Family genes make us look much younger than we are.

DINOSAURS

Later came the question from my daughter "Mommy, when you were a little girl did you run in caves to hide from the dinosaurs’ or did you have them as pets?" Since my son was laughing at this question I thought, good at least one of my children doesn't think I have been around since the stone age. I was wrong thinking that as his reply was "Mommy is a big scaredy-cat when it comes to spiders. How could she have a pet like a dinosaur?"

TEXAS

Snow White has misconceptions about Texas. When planning a trip to Huston for later this year she said there was no way she was going. Apparently she believes it is so hot there we will evaporate immediately after getting off the plane. Today on our way to the store she asks "Mommy what are the names of the two deserts? I know one of them is called Texas." I couldn't help myself, I laughed for about 5 minutes. I tried to explain that not all of Texas is a desert that some of it looks just like New York City. She laughed for about 5 minutes then proceeded to explain to me Texas could not be like NYC since there is no electricity in Texas. My turn to laugh again and then ask her why she believes all of this. Her information comes from one cartoon western. The streets were all dirt and there was no electricity. I tried to explain that would have been set in the early Wild West days but there was no convincing her. I told her we could look up Texas on the internet. Laughingly she replied "Mommy, you know the internet lies. People can say whatever they want on there and that doesn't make it true." I would get out the encyclopedia but mine are from the early 70s.

LITTLE DITTY ABOUT JACK & DIANE

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was 16 and driving my little sister who was 11 to the mall. On the way to the mall we passed by a school and a few sets of speed bumps. We went over the first set of speed bump and there was a clatter that seemed to come from outside the car. We went over the second set of speed bump and the clatter sounded again. My little sister said "What was that?" As my focus was on the road I only gave her a short answer "Jack".
Sister: Jack? Me: In the trunk. My sister's gaping look seemed to say "You have a GUY in your trunk?" Sister: Jack who?! My response: You know the one who is ready and waiting to help me change a flat tire.

We are both older now but that story still comes up and we laugh about it. She still looks like a little girl and that is a disadvantage in many ways. Some people do not take her seriously. The other day we were talking on the phone and Jack came up. Tonight she went to look in her journal and found this in one of the entries....

As my sister said the next time someone says you don't know Jack, tell them you do know Jack.
I said I not only know Jack, I put him where he is today, and I can move him anytime I want to.

We are still getting a laugh out of Jack after all these years.

MOM A DROP OUT OR JUST ABOVE A DROOLER?

When my son was a kindergartner and we were playing at the neighborhood park a few new to high school boys approached us. They seemed like nice boys so we chatted with them for a minute or so. Then one of the boys asked what high school I go to. I almost fell off the park bench! My reply "I don't go to high school" and we rushed off to our car. While strapping my little 5 yr old son in the car seat he said "Mommy, you should have said you gagiated (graduated) from school long, long ago. Now they think my Mommy is a drop outer."

While in the mall one rainy afternoon I wondered into a shoe store to look for a pair of heels for my sisters up coming wedding. My daughter was wondering the baby stores with Grandma and my son was with me in his stroller. A young man about high school age came over to assist my hunt for the perfect shoes. While placing a very nice size 5 heel on my foot he said "Its great that you are shopping with you little brother. I use to take my little brother with me everywhere too." My son piped up and said "My sister? She's not my sister! My sister just sleeps and drools. She's my Mommy!"

I think I will start a blog just for the funny things my children have said over the years that I want to remember later on in life.

Anyone else have funny things there children have said or done?