There's Something I Need To Tell You...

Ronnie was a senior which meant his classes were over and it was time for him and his pals to have Senior Week in Ocean City. In the mean time I was still a Junior so I still had classes to attend. He called me a few times from a pay phone while he was in Ocean City. Nothing but parties and girls in bikinis. “Girls wearing hardly anything are coming up to talk to me and all I can think of how much I want to see you.” It was so sweet of him to call and reassure me he wasn’t straying. My Mother didn’t think so much of his slurred calls after 10 p.m. His friends tried to keep his spirits up as it would only be a few more days until he saw me again. Everyone who knew Ronnie, knew he was being honest. He couldn’t help it. That is just the way he was.

Sometime between Senior week and Ronnie’s graduation we went to a Walkersville Senior party under a bridge near a cornfield. I remember sitting down next to Ronnie around a camp fire when one of his classmates walked up, shook his hand hardily and said something about wishing him luck and no matter where he was sent they would always be the best of friends. Ronnie quickly stopped him from saying anything more. I looked at Ronnie quizzically, expecting him to explain but he waved it off as though the guy had been drinking too much.

Although Ronnie and I went to many parties he made sure no one gave me anything but Sprite. He was not about to explain to my parents why I smelled like alcohol. A few people did manage to hand me a drink now and then but Ronnie always took it away before I even had a sip.

A few days later we were at his house in the middle of the day. Ronnie had to stop by his house to pick up something. After a quick run into the house he appeared back at the kitchen door apparently trying to get out before I could figure out what his Mom was arguing with him about. She was saying something on the lines of “You better tell her. It’s only fair. It’s the right thing to do.” He saw the look on my face, quickly shut the door with a “yeah, yeah, I know. I will.” I really had no idea what was going on. Ronnie got back into the car, smiled and kissed me so I thought nothing of it at the time and we rushed off to where ever we were going. Since it was the middle of the day it was likely we were heading out to Cunningham Falls or a park somewhere to meet either his friends or my friends.

One night Ronnie picked me up from work and instead of one of the many parties or gatherings of friends we went to Cunningham Falls. Just the two of us to watch the sunset. There was something he wanted to tell me. Well, he didn’t want to tell me but he knew he had to tell me. I tried to put him at ease by being silly but that just made him more uncomfortable and a bit angry. “I have to tell you this. Let me just say this. Let me get it out.” {pause for a big breath, shaking of his head and then another big breath} “I don’t know how I’m going to tell you.” With that I sort of slunk off to the opposite side of the front seat. He was never cross with me before and I was a little afraid of what he might say next. Was he going to say that he cannot see me again? Then, I remembered his Mom arguing with him. So there we were. He was about to drop a big bomb and I wanted to run. But I didn’t. I just sat there. Frozen.

He started to say something but his voice cracked. He turned on the car and started to drive down the mountain. He saw that I was afraid so he asked me to come closer so he could hold my hand. This didn’t look good. I was afraid but I really wanted him to hold my hand. I thought I would be safe if he just held my hand. He wouldn’t look at me so I turned to look at the winding road ahead…