Military Wedding?

Christmas was celebrated at my family's house on Christmas Eve at midnight so I could enjoy Christmas Day at Ronnie's house. I did have to wait until he called to say they were awake and everything. I would like to say I was bright eyed and bushy tailed but I was reluctant to wake after such a late night of opening presents at home. Ronnie understood and called me again around lunch time. I came over as soon as I was ready. All of my gifts were wrapped perfectly, after all I wasn't the best gift wrapper Wards had ever known for nothing.

I can remember exactly what I gave his parents ....a speaker phone "Now Ronnie can call and speak to all of you at once!" This was a HUGE deal! Everyone wanted to HEAR him when he called and his phone calls home were few and far between. He usually only called his family when he couldn’t reach me. I wanted more than anything for him to call me but sometimes I felt he was neglecting his family. Even when he called his family they had to pass on information they had heard because we didn't really have speaker phones or anything much like them at the time.

I even bought one for myself so my family could hear his voice. I was so enthralled with his voice I wanted my family to know just how much and experience it with me. I had mine installed off the kitchen phone. This way everyone in the whole house would KNOW I was on the phone with Ronnie! I didn’t use it very much as our conversations always lead to mushy stuff.

Christmas night I was at Ronnie's house with his family. It was wonderful. He was so happy to have his family, best friends and me all under one roof. There were a few times I had to remind him that we were not alone. We only kissed lightly on the lips when others were around which was something new for us. He got out of hand a few times...so I had to remind him we were in his parents house. Ok, Players was a different story. This was his territory, he didn’t have to prove anything to anyone and he knew it. There were a few times he pulled me behind closed doors and only managed to kiss me once or twice before I said "Open that door young man" or his Mom came around and said the same thing. It was a bit funny to his Mom and I but Ronnie didn't seem to think so. "You will be my wife soon and that won't work. Everyone will have to get use to it sooner or later."

When he said that to his mother, she said "As long as you are under my roof mister." I had to laugh! My parents would have said the same thing! And then some, because I was a their precious princess. The Leadore’s house was a Ranch style, ours was a two story so upstairs where the bedrooms were was off limits and anyone trying to make their way up. Any guy trying that at our house…well they would have been shot. There was a loaded shot gun in the closet at the bottom of the stairs. My Dad's spoken policy was "Shoot first and ask questions latter." My Dad never fired that shot gun, not even when he went hunting. He did make a habit of cleaning it when I introduced a guy who wanted to go out on a date with me. Surprisingly, not one guy ever left without going on the first date with me but there were several one and only dates.

Each day that passed we volleyed back and forth. Ronnie wanted us to get married as soon as he stepped off the plane and I wanted to at least finish college. Things changed since that night at the Cozy. I felt we had to get married as soon as possible. On the days I was thinking we had to get married that day Ronnie would say "Your parents would never forgive me if you didn't graduate high school." I eventually came up with a plan. We would get married, he would go back to finish A School and I would finish high school. In the mean time all the proper military forms would be filled out and we would be together no matter where they sent him. He didn’t like that plan “What if I come back here for Recruiter Aide? We will be married, you living with your parents and me at the base. When we are married we WILL live under OUR own roof, together.” The thought of us being married and living in the same house while I went to high school just seemed so wrong…to both of us. Could you imagine if I was sick, who would write my note to the attendance office? My parents or my husband? Weird.

Then there were days when Ronnie said "I can't live without you. We need to get married before I leave." Usually I was a little brat on those days. “Well, you didn’t want to when I suggested it and I’M the GIRL! Do you know how difficult it is to be the GIRL and say something like that? Why is it a bad idea when I say it but not when you say it?“ We always seemed to be on opposites on any given day ..."your parents would never forgive me if I made you give up your diploma" and I was telling him they would forgive so long as our parents were invited to the wedding. We didn't need permission. We wanted approval. He wanted my parents approval. "They need to know that I can take care of you and your Dad was in service before. You know what it is like. I want us to have that townhouse. I want us to have that car and you don't have to do anything." I told him over and over again "I don't want things, I want you. I want to be with you. We can work together to get those things." Ronnie would come back with "You are not making this decision on your own, I want you to have things and so do your parents. We are not negotiating this." I have to admit I was use to getting my way. Ronnie saying there was no "negotiating" was the end of the line and I didn't like it but I knew he meant it. I pitched a little girlie pouting fit about it but he would budge. Again, another first for me. If I pouted or said "or else" I usually got my way with everyone except Ronnie. He only let me get my way if it was the right decision or it didn’t effect the rest of our lives. My goodness, I have to say ...how young was I?!

I was a real brat but I felt I had every right to be. We already made love and we were not married yet. I was going to give up the two nominations I had to the Naval Academy so why wouldn’t he give a little bit over ‘things’? That’s right, I not only had a letter of nomination from our local Congress woman but I also had one from President Ronald Regan who can only give out a few per year. Ronnie didn’t really want me to go to the Academy since that would mean four years at the Academy and four years of service. With him in the Army and me in the Navy we wouldn’t see much of each other. My Dad was very proud I was accepted but he was also worried. Women in the Academy wasn’t exactly new but they went through more than what the Navy put on them.

Ronnie and were both on the same side and in agreement on New Years Eve. We had everything planned, so we thought. The brides maids (Lefty's Angles) would wear their prom dresses from the last prom, the ushers would wear the suits they have and Ronnie would rent a tux. I tried and tried to explain how wonderful it would be to get married in his dress greens but he wouldn't budge on that. IN turn I wouldn't budge on my dress. I did look at several shops but the least expensive was a 20s flapper dress and I wanted something in the lines of wedding dresses from "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes." Since it was after Christmas and there was the Cozy party, we had both spent a great deal of our money. We still had our own car insurance to pay. I had a check coming for around $70. The facts were we would have enough to pay for everything in a month or so but not enough to get married right away.

Then there was the obstacle of telling our parents. We could just elope but I Promised we would tell his Mom! I wanted a nice wedding too, with my friends and both of our families. I had it all planned out with his approval before. The biggest obstacle we faced was my graduation. It wasn't just my parents but his as well "she has to finish school first." Both of our friends (especially mine), his parents, the faculty at my school, turning down two nominations to the Naval Academy - and me a Navy Chief's daughter. Ronnie had already graduated from high school and now making his own way in the world. The focus was now on me, what I had to give up and what no one wanted me to give up.

Well, we had our work cut out for us be we pushed forward. Ronnie and I went to his Catholic church only to find out they wouldn't marry us unless I converted. We only had a few days. I would have done anything to marry him at that point but time was of the essence since he was leaving in just a few days. My church would marry us but we had to take a two week marriage course. We finally decided on the chapel on base, Ft. Detrick. The pastor there would marry us and even told me about the sword and saber squad (they were supplied with a rifle squad but it would the same as a saber squad). I was a little afraid of being swatted on the butt. Apparently, when the married couple reaches the end of the arch the swards/rifles are crossed to stop them and the soldier on the bride’s side swats her on the butt and says “Welcome to the Army!” I thought they meant he swats me with a sward or rifle not his hand. He also told Ronnie and I that we needed a local marriage license.

We talked to his recruiter who made it sound like it was a done deal that Ronnie would come back to Frederick as a Recruiter's Aide. From the recruiter it sounded like one phone call to the commander would make it all happen. Ronnie believed him but I had my doubts. It wasn't anything personal, I had lived as a military brat all my life. You could be living in one city one day and have to move to the next day then go back to the same city the same day or go across country. Nothing wrong with that because you are use to it, you are a military brat, that is the way it is. Or you could be stationed and live in the same place for years. That is the military. Random as necessary. Ronnie believed what he was told...set in stone. To me I heard a possibility not a promise. IF the military, any branch, promises you anything, get it witting and frame in on the wall. (Government of any sort not just the military - I still have a personal, hand written letter of apology from the IRS framed)

My parents were very proud of the way I handled Ronnie's initial departure. They didn't know I agreed to marry him...our engagement was one sided ...only his family knew about it. My parents would have stopped any and all letters from him had they known. They thought he was a phase...they were waiting it out. My parents knew I was very serious about Ronnie but they hoped the distance from him would be good for me, i.e. I would get over him. I didn't have to tell Ronnie about how my parents felt about my future...he knew. I was expected to discover a cure for cancer or at least be on the house of senate as a speaker of some sort. At the very least I could make a good go of the "square" combat ship. Before Ronnie came home I had great dreams and expectations of myself. So did my family and even my friends. I gave in. All I wanted was to be Ronnie's wife and make him proud of me. I stopped wanting to make my Dad proud of me. I stopped wanting to make my friends expect great things of me. I only wanted to be Ronnie's wife. Do everything to make Ronnie happy. I was part of his life. Brining Ronnie his slippers at the end of the work day seemed far more satisfying than brining up old parchments to the capital building and reminding them why those parchments existed. All that mattered to me was Ronnie. Being near him. I only cared about being within arms reach of him.

We finally agreed to get married on New Years day but everything was closed and nothing we could do about my wedding dress and still afford wedding rings ( it was really important that we have a double ring ceremony instead of my idea to use just my engagement ring), the photos we had at the portrait studio wouldn't be ready for our announcement, and we wouldn't get a marriage license for Three Days! Ronnie had to go back on January 3rd.

There were a few arguments between us "Well, if you had agreed at the time I said we should do it...." When it finally sunk in that there was nothing we could do about it…we agreed that this must not be the right time. Ronnie reminded me of something I always seemed to have on hand when I wanted it "Everything happens for a reason." I have always believed that God knows the big plan, the big picture and I have to go with it and what happens later will be better than I ever expected.

We finally accepted there was nothing we could do. We just had to put our lives in God's hands. Everything would workout. Our friends were ready at moments notice for our wedding but we never had the plans nailed down enough to actually tell our parents that we were about to have our wedding. It took a lot of courage to tell my parents we had been engaged for months.

Ronnie went back to the base in OK to finish his A school. His graduation was the end of January.

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Sorry it took so long to get this posted. There are many things coming regarding the Ronnie Crazy For You Soap Opera that I had great difficulty writting. I had to stop thinking about it for awhile. Some things life throws at you...well, you just don't come to terms with...even after so many years.

On the upside I have re-connected with several of my friends in the past. They were really suprised I kept a certain incident to myself all these years. What that is you will have to wait until I can actually get it all down without breaking down.

Cozy Inn Surprise Party …Continued

(Parental Supervision Strongly Recommended)

Jim dropped him off after a party with his friends. Sad to say there were only one or two of Ronnie’s friends at my party. For some reason our friends didn’t seem to mesh as well as we had hoped. Oh well, it didn’t matter really. What mattered tonight was my friends were celebrating how much they appreciated Ronnie and his return home!

Given our past escapades…the Cozy last time and our well lack of taking care of business along with how hot and bothered we get in his car but didn’t follow through. Well this might work.

Ronnie and I mingled for a few minutes then I lost my nerve. When no one was looking I bailed by crawling out a back window in the bed room. Lori was in the parking lot out back looking for the party. I asked her to take me to the nearest gas station. She laughed. She graduated in 85 from my high school and knew me very well. “It’s ok to be a little afraid. Let’s go get a bite to eat and talk it over. You know you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” We went to a McDonalds up the street but I couldn’t eat. I was so nervous! I worried that Ronnie would leave when he couldn’t find me anywhere in that cabin. Then what would I do? What could I say?

By the time Lori’s food arrived we had talked enough that I felt confident I was doing the right thing. Lori didn’t say a word the whole time. I did all the talking. I convinced myself this was the right thing to do. We had her food packed to go and returned to the cabin. We could have gone through the front door but I thought it was better to crawl back through the window. Darn! Someone closed and locked that window so we had to go through the front door. Ugh! I didn’t want everyone to know I bailed! Oh well, it only mattered to one person if I bailed or not. As soon as I walked through the door I scanned the room and there he was…leaning up against a wall in the living room. The look on his face was pure joy. He started to walk towards me but stopped, my smile assured him I was walking straight over to him.

I walked right up to him, pushed my hands inside his jacket around his waist and pressed my head against his chest. He ran his fingers through my hair then held my face in his hands so we were looking right at each other. “Heather, I WANT to do this but we don’t NEED to do this.” I blushed and buried my face in his chest. “I know. I just want to have a nice party for you.”

We played a few rounds of quarter with nearly warm beer because the fridge didn’t work right. Was I going to call the management to take care of it? No! We were all under aged and there were far more people in the cabin than allowed.

After awhile Ronnie said it was time for me to stop so I stopped playing and stopped socializing. I am sure I stopped making sense to anyone. Kay-Kay had already explained that we were there for the night so he put me to bed in “our room.” He noticed the sheer robe on the bed and asked about it. “That goes with a little something the girls took me shopping for today.” I decided to show him what that was all about. I had pondered what to do about the lingerie. Rather than having to change into it I would wear it under my clothes. Ronnie and I seemed to do better about getting all hot and bothered when we were both fully clothed and this would have been a nice surprise. I sat up in the bed, unbuttoned my shirt a little to show him a bit of it and he took a deep breath. He didn’t say a word but leaned over and kissed me.

Then he mentioned the Champaign Jim sent over with him. The Champaign had been in the room since Ronnie got there but we were sure it might still be a little chilled from the trip over. We drank a few glasses while we talked about how much we had missed each other. Specifically, seeing each other face to face, holding each others hands, being held…then one thing lead to another and we were laying down on the bed, hot and breathing heavily.

All of a sudden I jumped up! And yelled “STOP!!!” Poor Ronnie “Are you kidding me?” I was trying to make my way off the bed “No, Really! Stop!” Then I couldn’t speak. I was holding my mouth and pushing him away. I did the hand motions for WAIT! WAIT! I took a few breaths and in between I said “Get K - Get K! Need K!” Poor Ronnie didn’t know what to think but he ran out of the room. Ronnie didn’t come back in the room but Kay- Kay and Dizzy-D did and said “Come on! It’s Ronnie! He loves you….” Just before they started in on all the reasons I love Ronnie I said “I HURT! {gagging} My stomach!”

This was something they had heard before…not from me but they knew what to do. In a matter of seconds they opened the bedroom door and announced that everyone look at the front door for a BIG surprise! Then Dizzy said to me “Run to the bathroom. HURRY!” I ran from the bedroom through the living room where there were more than 20 people watching the front door. Then through the kitchen where I almost knocked over Flic and made it into the bathroom. I heard someone say “Did Heather run through here naked?” I was mortified! I wasn’t naked! I was wearing the lingerie but still if they would have said lingerie I would have felt the same.

Warm beer and warm champagne do not mix well in a body that is only 98 lbs. I thought I had it all figured out, I would be so smashed I couldn’t screw it up this time. Now I was in the bathroom with everything in my stomach making a quick exit. Flic and Giggles were in there with me right away. As soon as Kay-Kay and Dizzy-D knew I made it in the bathroom they came in. Flic was holding my hair back and Giggles put a wet wash cloth on the back of my neck. Dizzy-D laughingly said “Only you could be so nervous. You love the guy and now he has to sweat it out …again.” I started crying and Kay-Kay said “Don’t worry. He loves you. He knows you love him and you are trying.” Giggles and Flic added “We can fix your make up and we have toothpaste to freshen up your breath.”

Then a knock came at the bathroom door…it was Ronnie and he was really worried “Heather? Are you ok? Is she ok?” We all laughed!! Then there was a unanimous “She will be out in a minute!” Not only did I love Ronnie but all of my friends thought he was the perfect guy for me. They had never said that about any other guy I dated. Mostly, they hated any guy I had dated before hand. For all of them to agree that one particular guy was perfect for me was just amazing. He had the approval of my best friends, my guy friends and every friend I had. Even my parents liked him!

On top of all of that he was the reason I could breath. I loved him so very much. Then, there I am kneeling to the porcelain god, being violently ill. There was no mistaking what I was doing in that bathroom. I was so embarrassed I just couldn’t follow through. I wanted to, more than anything but now…magic doesn’t follow this sort of trip to the bathroom.

My friends patched up my make up and gave me enough toothpaste to poison an elephant. When the bathroom door opened Ronnie was standing right there. He scooped me up in his arms and carried me straight to the bed room and laid me on the bed “Do you want water? Soda? Anything at all. I will get it for you.” I reached out my hand and stroked his face. “I just want you to hold me” and he did. He placed my left arm across his chest to his right shoulder while placing my head on his left shoulder and he wrapped his arms lightly around me. With a light sigh he said “I love you. Thank you for the party. It was a great party.” I sort of laughed. “Yeah! Some party. I’m sorry. I did try. I did want to…” he shhhed me and said “I know you wanted to. This isn’t easy for you. I Love You. I love you Now, Forever and Always. Always. I Love you. It will happen when it’s the right time for both of us.”

I fell asleep for a little while. It couldn’t have been long because I could still hear music and people in the living room. He was still holding me. It was such a nice, warm, safe feeling that I couldn’t help myself. He was asleep but he woke up when I kissed him. We started kissing. Heavy breathing ensued and he held me tighter and tighter. Soon he was looming over top of me kissing my neck and his arms running under my back. He rubbed his cheeks against mine and said “I love you. I want to be with you …always. You are my love. My one and only. I love you.”

I was so intoxicated with his kisses and his words. I knew all along I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. It was agony being away from him for past few months. I need him like I needed air to breath. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him close. I kissed him as if my last breath of life depended on it. He kissed my neck and I kissed his. What ever he did to me I mirrored to him. If his body flinched upward so did mine. He kissed my ears and I was lost in a translucent pink fog. Then I felt his presence in mine.

A fearful gasped escaped out of me. He was slowly pushing his way into me. I was confused. It didn’t make my body feel wonderful and tingly like the kissing, gentle touching and being in his arms. It was pressure and painful, like banging your knee on the corner of a coffee table, over and over again. I didn’t know what to do. I froze. He kissed me very gently over and over again while asking me if I was ok. Instinctively I nodded. I kissed him back and he moved …he moved inside me and each time I gasped. I was trying to control my breathing so I wouldn’t cry. This was new to me and I didn’t know how to react. I was afraid but the more he kissed me, the more his arms and hands touched my back and grasped me the more I felt this was right. Sometimes squeezing me too tightly and sometimes very gentle. The pain wouldn’t go away. I wanted to cry. I wanted to stop. His movements became faster … faster. His breathing was heavy and quick. Suddenly he said “Stop! Don’t move!” Then he reached his climax and erupted inside me. The combination of his breathing and the explosion felt wonderful.
It felt like his heart was wrapping its self around me. He stopped moving, kissed me long and hard then laid next to me. I felt relived to have him out of me. But I also felt our souls had been bound together, forever.

While catching his breath he pulled me next to him and squeezed me tightly and asked “Are you? Are you sure you are ok? Did I hurt you?” I held on to him tightly saying “I’m ok. I’m ok.” I don’t know if I was trying to convince him or myself. I felt tears running down my face. I was so confused, I felt sad and happy at the same time. Ronnie loved me. I was sure of that. He would never hurt me. He only wanted to be closer to me. Bound with me. We wanted to be together always and this was a bond that couldn’t be broken. It was very uncomfortable for my body but for my heart it was the most extreme moment of my life.

I was so happy. Then I couldn‘t control the tears that were now running down my face like a waterfall. I didn’t know why at first. He felt the tears on his chest. He leaned over on his side and laid me down on the pillow and in a choked up voice said “Heather! Heather, are you ok? Oh please be ok.” I took a few breaths and said “I’m ok.” the crying grew and he was feeling so sorrowful. I thought of him saying “Don’t Move” and I started to cry more. I sobbed into his shoulder “Did I do it wrong? I‘m sorry. I‘m so sorry.” He half laughed and held me closer. “You didn’t do anything wrong. This is what is suppose to happen.” Ok, so I didn’t do it wrong but I was still crying. There was something else. “Heather, it’s ok. I promise.” I couldn’t stop myself … It had to come out --- I sobbed so wearily “We’re, ….we’re noooot, ….married. I promised and I’m not suppose to…” He held me so tightly I could hardly breath, stoked my hair over and over while kissing all over my face. He said “Shhh. It will be ok. Shhhh. We are getting married. We will get married tomorro, next week, next month or 1989. Whenever you say. I wont rush you. Know this, we will be married. I will be your husband and you my wife. We are ok. We are ok.” My arms closed around his shoulders and I took a few breaths. I could breath and the tears drifted away. Before this night I knew he loved me and he knew I loved him. We jumped over this line drawn in the sands of life together …together forever.