Saturday, August 09, 2008

My Soldier's Spirits Lifted

Phone calls from Ronnie remained the same until he started to receive packages of home items and actual letters from us. He started to cheer up a bit but was doubtful about coming home any time soon. When he arrived in Germany he did talk to someone in command who was worried about his performance or lack of enthusiasm. Ronnie wasn’t slacking off or anything but he was not giving it his all and it was noticed. After their little chat he advised Ronnie to put in for leave. It was explained that it was a first come first serve basis and those who had served more time in Germany were given preference. Ronnie seemed really happy about filling out his paperwork for leave. Finally! He had something to look forward to!

Back here in the states I was still going to school and Players, when I felt up to it. I tried to go to Players as much as I could. There was something about being there, where I met Ronnie and hearing the songs we danced to. I had my friends with me to keep my spirits up. Some nights I just didn’t want to go. I wanted to go to bed as soon as possible. The more I slept the less I was awake which to me meant less time awake thinking about Ronnie. If I dreamed too much about Ronnie then I knew I had to get out and about.

As the weather warmed up more parties were happening. I wanted to go to the parties since there was alcohol. If I drank an hour or so before going to bed I slept better. No dreaming. Of course I was young and didn’t know when to say when so I tested my limits and eventually I was worrying about both Ronnie and had to deal with hangovers.

I was grouchy all the time. My work was sloppier than it had ever been and I cared very little about anything. There was one party were I was pretty smashed. I remember Rick (aka Alter boy) was trying to kiss me and actually chased me all around the house and outside. I fell, he picked me up then tried one more time to kiss me. I had had it with him so I punched him! Right on the jaw! I had never punched anyone before in my life. He hit the outside wall of the house and slid down to the ground. “What did you do THAT for?” Staring down at him I said “I don’t want to be kissed by anyone! GOT IT?!” Then I went back inside and to tell my ride it was time to go home.

The Angels decided something had to be done about my partying. Sure they were at the same parties I was, they usually drove me but sometimes I would stay longer…and longer and catch a ride with one of the older girls. The one thing they said that snapped me out of it “If you don’t get your act together now you wont graduate this year.” At first I thought, who cares? Ronnie is in Germany. Then they said “The sooner you graduate the sooner you two can get married and actually be together.” That did it. Now my concentration was on graduating and getting to Ronnie ASAP! Sure, I went to parties but I didn’t say without the Angels. We went, mingled a little, had a few drinks then went home.

Prom was coming and Ronnie’s phone calls were so much more chipper. Then he dropped a bit of bomb on me. His leave was approved but it was only for one week not two. He declined the leave and asked to wait until he had a few more weeks. WHAT?! A week at home and he said No?! He was now calling overseas, not just long distance so I couldn’t just hang up on him but I wanted to! Three months of depression for the both of us and five months since we had seen each other and he says No?!

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