Summer was over and the harsh reality of the Army was gaining on us fast. My parents reminded me over and over again that I was not to cry. I had to be brave and happy for him. “You don’t want him to remember the last time he saw you, you were crying. You want him to think of your pretty smiling face. You have such a pretty face.” The night before he left he met me at my house. Apparently, I had done something my parents were not pleased about and I was grounded. Grounded for the last night Ronnie would be here! It was SO not fair! Ok,they didn't know about the Cozy. They wanted to make sure we were not married the night before he went off to the Army. Everyone, especially my parents, knew how crazy we were about each other.
Ronnie came over for dinner. My family knew this was a special dinner for Ronnie and I so the first floor of the house was off limits to everyone but us. Yes, I was going to impress him with my cooking skills. I cooked steak, corn, mashed potatoes and biscuits. I made sure he did not see the mashed potatoes as I put far too much butter in them and it turned into a sort of weird looking soupy thing. The biscuits I forgot were in the oven until Ronnie asked “Is something on fire?” Ok, so my cooking wasn’t impressive but he enjoyed it all the same. He was such a good sport.
After dinner we sat in the living room talking and holding hands. Eventually I turned on the stereo and placed a small 45 record on the turn table…Madonna - Crazy For You. This is the song Ronnie picked out as “Our Song” just after we started dating. One night after picking me up from work he said we needed a song. I cannot remember what song I had picked out but really, I hadn’t thought about it as much as he had. Ronnie knew exactly what song should be “our song.” He thought about the night we met every time he heard ‘Crazy For You.’ It was perfect.
Since it was his last night I wanted to have one last slow dance with him. Halfway through the song he broke down in tears. I didn’t want to make him cry. I wanted him to have a happy memory of us dancing together to “our song”. We held each other on the couch for awhile then he said he had to go. I convinced my Dad that while Mom was out it would be ok if Ronnie and I went out for half an hour. “Okay, but you better be back here before your Mom gets home or we will both be in trouble.”
Ronnie was relieved that we would have some time alone together but not sure if it was really a good idea. I think my parents were secretly afraid we would run off to a Justice of the Peace and elope. Maybe that was why they changed my curfew. We did think about it once at the end of a date. Ronnie said he didn’t want leave me just yet. He couldn’t wait until we were married. Then we wouldn’t have to say good bye at the end of each night. The more we thought about it the more we were convinced those country road side Justice of the Peace must have been made up for movies. We couldn’t find one, not a one.
Since my Dad agreed to let us have 30 minutes together we went to a party behind the billboards where Ronnie’s friends were waiting for him. No matter who offered me a drink Ronnie was quick to shoo them away. Half an hour later, Ronnie had me home and was kissing me good night. He said “I will be kissing you good morning soon.” I blushed from head to toe! I knew he meant that he would be back in the morning but still, oh my! The way he said it.
Ronnie agreed to let me go with him to the recruiters office where the Army van would pick him up. I promised to be good and cheerful so he wouldn’t cry. I smiled, hugged him and kissed him several times then I smiled and waved as the green van drove away.
I went back home, back to bed and cried myself to sleep. Over the next few months crying myself to sleep became a habit. I tried to be upbeat and cheerful but there were so many places, things, songs and many little things that made me think of Ronnie and how my heart ached for him. My friends were growing tired of my mournful behavior and exhausted from trying to cheer me up. I could manage a smile now and then but it never lasted.
Showing posts with label Soldier send off. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Soldier send off. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Monday, July 07, 2008
A Soldier’s Girl Has To Do Her Duty…
Ronnie’s friends knew about him and the Army but my friends were just finding out about it. My friend Giggles in particular, was not all that optimistic. She was never afraid to be the one to bring crushing reality to any situation. She did try in her own way to be upbeat about the whole thing. Ronnie’s friends never said anything negative. If they did then they made sure not to say it in front of me. There was one person in particular who scared the heck out of me. Her name was Hattie, I believe she worked at Montgomery Wards in the Eatery restaurant. She was in fact from Hattie. She dressed in her home country clothing and we liked her a great deal. She always spoke to us as people and paid no attention to our young age. We even valued her opinion…until the day we told her Ronnie was going into the Army. She said “My pity is for your young hearts. Trust me. This will wretch your hearts out.” We never did see her again. I think we either avoided her or the restaurant closed.
Before the dreaded day of Ronnie leaving it seems our friends, both his and mine, had one particular question on their minds. Were we going to do anything in regards to, um, ‘consummating’ our engagement before he left. It’s true, we hadn’t done the ‘deed.’ Sure we were healthy, normal teenagers but our ‘parking’ only went so far as kissing. We would talk a little, kiss a lot, talk some more and kiss a lot more. It’s a wonder we never ran out of things to talk about. We talked on our dates, when we weren’t on a date we were on the phone talking to each other. We talked for hours and hours in the car, the mountains, falls, where ever we went. What can I say. We were good clean American teens. Did we want to? Oh YES! There was definitely HEAT between us, but we always stopped ourselves before we got out totally of hand.
I had this ideal that I was going to wait until I was married. I did not want to have that “Are you a virgin?” chat with the man I was going to marry and have to produce a list of guys. The way that conversation went with Ronnie was awkward enough. No there wasn’t a list, it was unsettling to discuss because I was uneasy talking about sex. People just weren’t suppose to talk about THAT. Hey, I was pretty young and not experience unlike my friends. Heck, it wasn’t just my friends. Every girl I knew in school was on the pill with the exception of myself.
Well, our helpful, wonderful friends made sure we had everything arranged. Giggles would pick me up from my house, drop me off at the mall where I would meet Ronnie. Ronnie’s friends made sure he booked a little room at the Cozy. We were engaged. We had to push forward. It was the natural course of life. A soldier cannot go off to the military without having one night with his fiancé. Right?
High school notes between Cuddles and Huggles….
Ok, we made it to the Cozy. Ronnie had already picked up the key before he came to meet me at the mall. He carried me over the threshold as if we were just married. Then he gently placed my feet on the floor just inside the door. We kissed for a long time. Then what? Neither of us were sure what we should do next so we sat on the bed and watched a little T.V., played Monopoly, looked over the floor plans of the townhouses we toured and looked through magazines imagining how we would decorate our lovely little home. Basically, we planned out our future until the sun went down. Well, surely people didn’t actually do THAT sort of thing during day light. Right?
It was definitely dark now so we decided the next step would be to change into our night things. I grabbed my little over night bag and skipped into the bathroom to change. It didn’t take long to change but I had some difficulty bringing myself to open the door. I must have been in there for awhile. Ronnie knocked on the door and asked if I was ok. I said I was but in reality I was a bundle of nerves. I had no clue what I was suppose to do. The next time he knocked on the door he asked again if I was ok then said “If you’re not ready we don’t have to do this.” With that I sprayed myself with a bit of Love’s Baby Soft perfume and made a mad dash for the bed. In retrospect I thought “Why didn’t I let him change in the bathroom? That way I would have been safely under the covers when he came out.”
So, there we were. Me laying on one side of the bed with my hands clutching the covers which I pulled all the way up to my chin. I was trying to relax but it just wasn’t happening. It was obvious to both of us that maybe we should pop the cork on that Champaign. Yes, liquid courage. The night didn’t go as everyone expected. He was trying to be serious and I couldn’t stop giggling. Eventually, we decided we were happy to wait until it was really the right time. Like after we were married. I was so glad he didn’t want to rush me. There was no feeling of “I had to do this.” We realized it was the expectations of our friends that we make this move before we were married. With that we both relaxed and fell asleep in each others arms. It was wonderful waking up in his arms.
I had heard of a military tradition that is pretty much reserved for the wedding night but I thought it was romantic. After the first night the couple exchanges a gift for those times they are parted by military orders they will have something to hold. Something near and dear to your heart. Ronnie had already given me my engagement ring so I decided to give Ronnie my class ring.
After we changed into our regular clothes and packed up our over night bags we sneaked out of the room and made a mad dash for the car. We didn’t really do anything we shouldn’t but we still felt a little guilty.
Before the dreaded day of Ronnie leaving it seems our friends, both his and mine, had one particular question on their minds. Were we going to do anything in regards to, um, ‘consummating’ our engagement before he left. It’s true, we hadn’t done the ‘deed.’ Sure we were healthy, normal teenagers but our ‘parking’ only went so far as kissing. We would talk a little, kiss a lot, talk some more and kiss a lot more. It’s a wonder we never ran out of things to talk about. We talked on our dates, when we weren’t on a date we were on the phone talking to each other. We talked for hours and hours in the car, the mountains, falls, where ever we went. What can I say. We were good clean American teens. Did we want to? Oh YES! There was definitely HEAT between us, but we always stopped ourselves before we got out totally of hand.
I had this ideal that I was going to wait until I was married. I did not want to have that “Are you a virgin?” chat with the man I was going to marry and have to produce a list of guys. The way that conversation went with Ronnie was awkward enough. No there wasn’t a list, it was unsettling to discuss because I was uneasy talking about sex. People just weren’t suppose to talk about THAT. Hey, I was pretty young and not experience unlike my friends. Heck, it wasn’t just my friends. Every girl I knew in school was on the pill with the exception of myself.
Well, our helpful, wonderful friends made sure we had everything arranged. Giggles would pick me up from my house, drop me off at the mall where I would meet Ronnie. Ronnie’s friends made sure he booked a little room at the Cozy. We were engaged. We had to push forward. It was the natural course of life. A soldier cannot go off to the military without having one night with his fiancé. Right?
High school notes between Cuddles and Huggles….
9/19/85
Hey Huggles,
What’s up? Well I’ll tell you why I am so happy. This Friday is going to be fantastic! Okay, Ronnie reserved a cabin at the Cozy for Friday night.
He wanted one with a fireplace and a water bed, but it was booked until Oct. 15th (sad face drawing).
Anyway we do have a cabin and he is going to bring Champaign (and other alcohols) and his monopoly game. I don’t think I want to do anything just yet. It all sounds so romantic and it can still be even if we don’t do anything.
I heard Giggles found another guy.
Oh well, gotta go.
Love Ya Lots!
Cuddles
9/19/85
Cuddles,
What are you telling your Mom? When are we going to have the party? When is he leaving? I thought this was going to be the big night?! You are so lucky to have him, he’s so sweet to you.
Yeah, Giggles met another guy. I haven’t met any yet. But I haven’t been to the fair yet either, I hope I meet someone! We are going tonight, wish me luck - I’ll need it! I don’t know what is going on w/Craig he doesn’t seem to like me that much but he asks me for hugs - waits for me after class and looks for me all the time so I don’t know what to do. HELP!
Well - Good luck w/Friday and have a Great time and don’t let anything stop you if it feels right in your heart. I wuv you!
Huggles
P.S.
Are you aloud to stay there?
I hope you wont get in trouble.
Just tell the [Cozy] office the truth.
Ok, we made it to the Cozy. Ronnie had already picked up the key before he came to meet me at the mall. He carried me over the threshold as if we were just married. Then he gently placed my feet on the floor just inside the door. We kissed for a long time. Then what? Neither of us were sure what we should do next so we sat on the bed and watched a little T.V., played Monopoly, looked over the floor plans of the townhouses we toured and looked through magazines imagining how we would decorate our lovely little home. Basically, we planned out our future until the sun went down. Well, surely people didn’t actually do THAT sort of thing during day light. Right?
It was definitely dark now so we decided the next step would be to change into our night things. I grabbed my little over night bag and skipped into the bathroom to change. It didn’t take long to change but I had some difficulty bringing myself to open the door. I must have been in there for awhile. Ronnie knocked on the door and asked if I was ok. I said I was but in reality I was a bundle of nerves. I had no clue what I was suppose to do. The next time he knocked on the door he asked again if I was ok then said “If you’re not ready we don’t have to do this.” With that I sprayed myself with a bit of Love’s Baby Soft perfume and made a mad dash for the bed. In retrospect I thought “Why didn’t I let him change in the bathroom? That way I would have been safely under the covers when he came out.”
So, there we were. Me laying on one side of the bed with my hands clutching the covers which I pulled all the way up to my chin. I was trying to relax but it just wasn’t happening. It was obvious to both of us that maybe we should pop the cork on that Champaign. Yes, liquid courage. The night didn’t go as everyone expected. He was trying to be serious and I couldn’t stop giggling. Eventually, we decided we were happy to wait until it was really the right time. Like after we were married. I was so glad he didn’t want to rush me. There was no feeling of “I had to do this.” We realized it was the expectations of our friends that we make this move before we were married. With that we both relaxed and fell asleep in each others arms. It was wonderful waking up in his arms.
I had heard of a military tradition that is pretty much reserved for the wedding night but I thought it was romantic. After the first night the couple exchanges a gift for those times they are parted by military orders they will have something to hold. Something near and dear to your heart. Ronnie had already given me my engagement ring so I decided to give Ronnie my class ring.
After we changed into our regular clothes and packed up our over night bags we sneaked out of the room and made a mad dash for the car. We didn’t really do anything we shouldn’t but we still felt a little guilty.
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