Momma's World

School Fights...When to Fight

2009-09-22T00:50:00.000-07:00

The missing original interm report which was altered by the school via white out was found while I was looking through every school paper I had in the house. I was surprised and thrilled! When I showed it to the lawyer I had to point out “you need to hold it up to the light and look at the back of the paper to see what the original grades were. They were written in BLUE ink and the new grades were written in Black ink! On the facing side you could see that some grades were written in black (over white out) and the rest were written in BLUE ink! I had given up on ever finding that interm report but I finally found it when I stopped looking for it.

Another VERY surprising find was that the school had performed an evaluation in 2007. This was done without my permission and without a hearing. Those are the only two ways a school can perform the evaluation! I had received this evaluation just before Snow White transferred to the new school but thought it was just one of those plans the school was going to implement. It wasn’t until after I received and reviewed the evaluation from the Dr. I employed over the summer to perform the requested school evaluations that I saw….they were the SAME!! No wonder the school hounded me over and over again to sign the papers! They over stepped themselves and the law by a full year!!

The school insisted they had no recommendations to follow from the previous school but also state they did their best. I know they did their best to undermined my daughter’s education as much as they could. They board her to death on purpose!!

After the last school meeting the Friday before school started the school still insisted that they would hold my daughter in 4th grade based on her grades. They said if she had gone through their testing she would have been classified as Chapter 15 but based on the recommendations of the Dr. who tested her over the summer she is not Chapter 15. “Children with disabilities are not held to the same standards as others and are passed on to the next grade even if they do not meet the state standards.” Ok, I find that appaling in many ways since their view of disabilities is so vast how do they get away with it? Why are they encouraged monetarily to have a quota of disabled students?!” Oh, now I find out that the school which is a short distance from my daughter’s old school takes in a number of children from poor neighborhoods. This is a good thing in my opinion but tax and school money wise apparently is not a good thing. The school needs money and this is where their Gravy Boat comes in! They are educators! This shouldn’t be the case!!

My daughter was classified at Chapter 15 illegally due to the evaluation by the school without authorization but still classified as such. They tried to cover their butts and I didn’t just lay down and do as they told me to.

As soon as I had the test results in my hands I called the Principal and requested a meeting be held to let them review my daughter’s test results (August 14th). The tests they badgered me about having done for the past year. Remember I had not received Snow White’s report card until about a week before this and I had received her test results. The Principal said she would agree to meet with me and during the conversation she asked if my lawyer received the copy of Snow White’s records? The Principal went on to say “I made the copies myself and sent the box down to the Special Education teacher to mail out.” I told her that I had not heard anything about it since the school asked if I really wanted a full copy so I guessed they had them. I called the lawyer’s office to find they had not received them. I called the Principal back and told her they had not received them. She called me back later that day to say “If you would like us to start making the copies it will be $100.” I told her I would pay her the $100, pick them up at the meeting and deliver them myself to the lawyer! Didn’t she JUST tell me she made the copies?! How is it not possible they were not made and sent out?! Why didn’t my lawyer call and tell me? This was supposedly done before the end of the previous school year and school was about to start again!!

I went to the meeting that Tuesday without my lawyer because he was in court and the notice was too short. I understand the short notice thing but I NEEDED to let the school know the testing was done so my daughter should be in 5th grade not 4th like the lady said on the phone the week before. Oh, I called the week before and asked for a meeting with the principal to discuss who my daughter’s teacher was since I had not heard anything yet. The woman who answered the phone told me who my daughter’s 4th Grade Teacher will be.

So, I attend the meeting with the Principal, and I was introduced to the other two women at the table. One was said to be the Superintendent and one was the Director of Special Education (DSE). The DSE was none other than the woman who sat next to me at the previous meeting and said they didn’t have to take recommendations from outside sources and that outside sources usually misspelled the names of the students tested which meant they were not sure the real student was actually tested. This was the same woman who said she observed my daughter in class that day and my daughter was actually at home with a fever and vomiting and did not attend school that day. She also misspelled my daughter’s name in every instance she used it in that observation report she handed to me.

During the meeting I gave the testing report from the Dr. to the Principal.
She made copies for everyone and handed them out. No one looked at them but tucked them under their crossed hands on the table. I was sitting next to the DSE and to her left was the Superintendent and to my right was the Principal. The meeting started off with the Principal apologizing for any misconduct or behavior I thought was inappropriate at the last meeting. The DSE stated that no such shouting, anger or pounding of fists every happened. She even laughed as she said this!

This meeting was important and I decided not to show my anger towards the DSE. I decided to not look at her through the rest of the meeting. How could she?! How could she just sit there all calm and lie like that?! And give that awkward laugh about it all?!! I had to remain calm and fix what was wrong for my daughter. Anything I had to say to DSE would have to wait until later.

The Principal focused on the grades of the last quarter and how bad they were. I reminded her what my daughter’s grades were before attending this school and within the first three quarters. The Superintendent stopped me and said she “I have to say this. You will not leave this meeting happy. We cannot pass your daughter based on these grades.” Just as I was about to say something the Principal spoke up and said “ You didn’t contact us about summer school so we thought you knew she would repeat this grade.” I spoke up and said “You know I didn’t receive her report card until about a week ago.” She responded “We didn’t know that. Why didn’t you ask for it sooner? All parent’s know the report cards go out the last day of school.” I was fighting back tears when I said “I don’t know the routine of this school. I thought you were holding it until her test were back. You said…the last meeting it was said if I don’t sign the papers to have her tested she would be held back.” The DSE tried to interrupt but I spoke up and faced her “You said if she was tested she would pass. If I signed the papers for the school to test her you would pass her. She was tested as I promised and now…” I had to stop because I was not about to shed tears in front of them.

The DSE said “I don’t know where you come up with this stuff. We never said if you had her tested she would pass.” I was at the end of my rope with this woman! She lied about observing my daughter that day, she lied about the outbursts from the last meeting and now she was lying about what she said?! I stopped breathing for a minute then decided it was better to forget she was in the room and resume the meeting. Something had to be done NOW so my daughter would start off the school year right and in the right grade with the right accommodations to insure her trust in the school.

I reminded the Principal that summer school was not an option due to the lateness of the report card. She explained that summer school would not have been a factor in promoting Snow White as it was just an introductory to 4th grade and not something to pass 4th grade. Thinking to myself …Um, why mention it if it would not have been a help???

I did mention that Snow White passed the State Exams for her grade at Proficient and Above Average. They all said that didn’t matter as Snow White “did not demonstrate the concepts of 4th grade.”. I asked if the school has separate concept of 4th grade than the State but they said they were the same. Still they held fast to the point they would not promote Snow White to the 5th grade. The Principal added that Snow White told her “I did less work in 3rd grade and they passed me.” I also reminded the Principal that Snow White also told her that she didn’t do the work in class because it was too hard. Yet, she would blow through a whole weeks worth of incomplete work in 15 minutes at home but I couldn’t understand why she didn’t accomplish this in all the hours she was at school. I also reminded her of Snow White’s words “I cannot go in that room with all those important people…” She was intimidated by them and told them what she thought they wanted to hear! The Principal let out a little giggle as did the rest but she said she understood but hoped that Snow White would understand this year that she does have a voice. In the back of my head I am thinking why should she think anything different this year? The school has always done what they please no matter what I say and I am her Mother. If I don’t have a voice here why would she?

I give up on convincing the school and think the lawyer will have a better hand at this. Since school starts in less than a week and the lawyer is in court all this week, I move on. “So, no matter what grade she is in what will be different this year?” Their focus is on Snow White changing and I tell them her Dr. who did the evaluation fears that if Snow White is retained she will withdraw from school and eventually outside interests too. They still maintain that she WILL be retained and incorporate all recommendations by the Dr. I ask how and they explain she will use a computer rather than writing out her assignments and tests. She will have classes in school as to how to use the computer in these tasks.

The Superintendent said the school records will be ready the day after school starts (they didn’t have them ready for me to pick up). Also, I wrote out a check to the school for $66.50 for the records as they said it would cover what they could copy. The Principal said “It would have costed over $600 to copy the whole file.” I will take what they will give me and leave the rest up to the lawyer.

One thing we all agreed on was that since Snow White had no idea she would be in 4th grade again it would be very beneficial for her to meet with her teacher before school started. This would help avoid some of the gossip and rude comments by other students and help Snow White feel assured she was in a safe place. It would also give me time to speak with the lawyer. The meeting was set up for following Friday at 3 pm. This meeting was selected by the Principal.

Ok, so the first meeting was Tuesday and the next meeting was set up for Friday. The Thursday in-between I receive a call from the DSE who called just to make sure I understood there was no need to hold the Friday meeting. After all, she is going to be in 4th grade and it’s nothing new to her. There is nothing more to discuss. I objected and said “ I thought the purpose of this next meeting was so that Snow White could meet the teacher?” DSE said “I don’t know where you come up with this stuff. No one discussed her meeting the teacher. The teachers will be in meetings until 3 pm and no one will stay after for this meeting. Why would you ask for a meeting when you know the teachers will be out?” I reminded her that the Principal set the time of the meeting not me and I had no idea but thought it would be best if Snow White met with the teacher rather than be thrown in to the fire.” The DSE actually LAUGHED at me!!! Something in me snapped! I said that I still expected the meeting be held and that Snow White meet the teacher!” She said again that she didn’t know why I was so upset and making up stuff. I really lost it and actually YELLED “OK, LET’S JUST THROW HER IN THE FIRE AND LET HER JUST DEAL WITH IT! THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT! RIGHT! FROM NOW ON I WILL BRING A TAPE RECORDER WITH ME SO I JUST DON’T MAKE UP STUFF! HOW ABOUT THAT?!!!” She started to respond but I hung up on her!! I called the school and left a message for the Principal “I do NOT appreciate the way your staff speaks to me! I do not appreciate the antagonizing phone calls! Call me BACK!!”

The Principal did call me back. I asked her if the meeting for Friday was to be canceled and she said “No”. I asked her if it was part of the plan for Snow White to meet the teacher at Friday’s meeting and she said “Yes.” I explained the phone call from the DSE and the Principal said “I don’t know why she would say that? Of course the teacher will be there. That was the plan we agreed on.” I asked her if she spoke with the DSE and she said she had. The Principal asked me why I thought the DSE would say such a thing and I told her that woman lied in the meeting, she lied about the previous meeting and what was promised as well. I said “If I never see that woman again I wont be disappointed but if she has to be in the meetings I do NOT want to sit next to her! I cannot stand that she lies and right to my face!” I also told her that from now on I WILL bring a Recorder to every meeting and Record every meeting so I don’t Make Up Stuff’!

I met with Snow White’s lawyer Friday for an hour just before the meeting with the school. I told him everything that happened and he asked me over and over again if the Superintended of the schools was really there. I told him the name but he said I must have got it wrong so I described her to him. Then he laughed! The woman in the school meeting had long beautiful braids of silver and black, I told him she was very strong and verbally to the point. He looked at me quizzically so I added she is African American. I thought he was questioning the braids but he knew the Superintended had very short red hair, when I said she was African American he knew I was not introduced to the Superintendent of schools as the Superintendent is very fair skinned, actually lighter than me and I actually reflect camera flashes. Another couple I know in the area pointed out the Superintendent in this years school calendar and it was NOT the woman introduced to me in the meeting. I am ashamed that I did not know who was who in the meeting. I have now made it a point to know the names of the school board and all educational supervisors. I have no bias towards race, color, creed or religion. I was made a fool because I didn’t know the difference between who was Superintendent and who was pretending. A very fair skinned, short haired, red head and an African American with braids half way down her back is a very big difference in who I would later describe as the person who was in the meeting. How could the school hearing go well if I described the woman who was in the school meeting as the Superintendent of schools? The woman in the meeting is part of the school and I pointed her out in the school calendar to my lawyer. This is a point that will be addressed in the hearing. Thank goodness someone thought to ask me!!! I will pay more attention to who is who in the meetings I attend now, rather than just believe what I am told by the school.

In the meeting with the lawyer he asked me about the Dr.’s recommendation and I told him what she said “it would be detrimental to Snow White if she were held back. There is no academic reasons to hold her back. If she is held back she will shut down in school and then shut down in her outside interests.” I explained that she faxed a letter in that regard to the school already. He called the Dr. and had me speak to them requesting a copy be faxed to his office and it was sent post haste. He gave me a letter and a copy for myself to deliver to the school at the beginning of the meeting that day.

The letter stated 10 ways the school violated Snow White’s rights and the recommendation of the school certified Dr. stated in the enclosed letter the school had already received stated it would be detrimental to retain Snow White. It also stated that if the school did not promote Snow White to the 5th grade proper legal action will be filled that following Monday, the day school started. I handed that letter to the Principal as soon as I arrived at the meeting. She faxed it to the real Superintendent of schools and waited to hear from her before starting the meeting. Then it was unanimous in the schools eyes that they were not in the wrong as the testing now states that Snow White is not really a Chapter 15 or covered under the disabilities act.

I told them this from the beginning but they pursued it and pursued it. They badgered me in every way possible. What they did to my daughter is unforgivable and must be undone! They tried and tried to paint her into a little box of what they needed funding for! There are so many children out there that actually NEED this funding like my Niece! My Brother and Sister-In-Law fight month to month for my niece to have appropriate services.

Back to the meeting on that Friday, the Teacher did show up but she was late due a friend being in a near fatal car accident. She wasn’t very late. The attendees were myself, Dr. Kelly (school psychologist),. Principal and 4th grade teacher. Snow White was in the main office waiting until we adults discussed what was expected before Snow White was to come into the room. The teacher and Dr. Kelly were given copies of the report of the Dr. and recommendations. The teacher seemed to be on board and offered up that she has many things in her classroom such as 9 lap tops. We discussed Snow White’s interests and how she could incorporate them in the classroom. Since an AlphaSmart or computer was one of the recommendations she saw no problem with Snow White using one of the in class computers. There were so many things this one 4th grade teacher said was at her disposal I wondered why these things were not available to Snow White when the School thought she needed them but now want to implement them.

At the end of the meeting it was agreed that by the end of the first week of school there would be another meeting to redo the 504 Plan and Chapter 15. By the end of the third week I had not heard anything from the lawyer or the school. I did receive a flyer in Snow White’s folder saying Mrs. Dunn, the original school Occupational Therapist, would be in Snow White’s classroom. A week later I emailed her requesting a meeting. Within two days she agreed to meet with me. I received an email that Friday stating she would meet with me and I immediately agreed. My boss understood only half of what has happened over the past year so he gave permission for me to take leave early that day. What really prompted this meeting was the fact that I allowed myself to believe the school would do as they promised. They said they would abide by the recommendations of the Dr. One recommendation was that Snow White be allowed to use the computer rather than write out assignments and tests. I received an email from the teacher asking my permission for Snow White to use the computer for her assessment next week. I thought they were already giving her instructions and she was using the computer. My mistake for trusting them to do what they said they would. Snow White had not used a computer nor told she was allowed to use it after three weeks of school. She was told that only 7 students per week were in the computer group and only then could they use the game disks in their free time.

Oh, the outcome of the testing over the summer was - Snow White can use both hands for everything, holds her pencil in her right hand like a lefty which results in major criss-cross firing of the brain to manipulate a pencil….meaning it does take her longer to write things down. The rest of the testing shows that she has a major distrust of teachers and the school system as a whole.

School EW

2009-08-05T22:49:00.000-07:00

I didn't Die...

I fell back in to high school days (discuss later)

Fell in love at a High School Reunion...(discuss later)

I was working in Germany and then here and not a moments peace until now and now to catch up....

School starts up again before this month is up and I am calling in the LAW

The School, The Law and then there are other things that will come later. I have been working long and hard hours but in the middle comes life. I have tried to not think of these things when I had a brief moment or two of …well, time to not think of this.

Snow White and School. Oh how I hate how things have come about. Not sure why this happened but I feel that they won. They pestered me from the start. If I had ever thought the school was trying to help my daughter I would have been right beside them but they did things so very oddly.

Where did this begin? We moved to a new state after the school year had already started. My daughter disliked leaving her friends behind but loved that there was more time we could spend together. It didn’t matter what we did after school as long as we did it together. There was the normal adjustments like being the new kid in school but a few girls immediately took her under their wing. They are still friends nearly three years later.

A few months at the new school and the teacher started complaining Snow White counted in her head instead of on her fingers. This seemed silly to me but I let it go for the first few months. Finally, I caved in to the constant complaining and told Snow White to count on her fingers. Two weeks later the same teacher complained that Snow White wouldn’t stop counting on her fingers. Yes, it was now a habit. Instead of having the answers ready in her head we, yes we - the teacher and I, wiped that part out of her. No matter what we did she had to work it out physically rather than in her head. Thanks!!

Next I was requested to attend a meeting at the school. It was short but sort of absurd. The reason for the meeting was a “simple request” to teach my daughter to hold her pencil correctly. I sort of laughed when they said this required a psychological and psychiatric examination. I told them that if they wished to teach her to hold her pencil in a different fashion I would allow the “classes” but thought it was sort of an over the top request that she be evaluated on such a level just because she likes to hold her pencil at a different angle. The small group of educational staff didn’t seem too put off by my flippant regard to this issue.

The next year I received another invitation to meet with the school. This time there was a conference room full of people. This meeting was called because the other day when my daughter and her class came in from recess she walked on her tip toes to the bathroom. They started to explain to me there is a mental condition associated with the need to put pressure on the ball of one’s foot. This was a one time thing and my daughter had just played the part of “princess” in a made up play with her friends on the play ground. When I asked her about this she said “that was the day we were playing princess and I was dancing my way back from recess.”

At the time of the meeting I couldn’t believe what they were saying but I staid for the full two hour meeting and listened to what they had to say. I mentioned that she was only 8 yrs old and perhaps she was thinking she should be a ballerina. After two hours the women in the room asked me to sign a document giving my consent to them performing psychological and psychiatric testing. I actually laughed! I told them that this was not a case of her wanting to put pressure on her feet nor did one trip to the bathroom on tip toe warrant such testing. I excused myself and went back to work. I even told my co-workers about the meeting when I returned and they all laughed! They also said how grateful they were that their children are all grown up and no longer in the school system.

When I moved to this new state I couldn’t find a house I wanted to buy so I rented. Finally, I found a house I liked and we moved just a short distance. This short distance resulted in Snow White attending a new school. A few weeks after she started the new school I was asked to attend another school meeting. I found out during the meeting that this was called due to the way she held her pencil. Again they asked me to sign a paper given them permission to perform psychiatric and psychological evaluations in order to teach her to hold her pencil differently. I again declined the testing but said they could give her classes on holding her pencil since it was such a big deal to them.

Over the next few months things got ugly. Snow White was given a choice to do her work in class or give up recess. Well, actually what they said was if she didn’t do her work in class she had the option to come back and finish it or go out to recess. The first few times she went back to class but then she learned that her work was not being graded so she stopped doing the work and went to recess. She said the work was like 2nd grade and it was too boring. At this time the teacher started sending the incomplete classwork home and Snow White finished it within 15 minutes. I mentioned this in the next school meeting and the principal asked why this work couldn’t be completed during all the hours of school yet she would turn it in the next day. When Snow White was brought in to the meeting the principal asked her where she did her home work “dinning room“. Where was Mom, “down stairs working.” What do you do when you can’t figure out the answers? “Move on then take all the questions to Mom so she can tell me how to work it out.” Shortly after this meeting the teacher stopped sending the incomplete work home.

I asked the teacher if the work was now completed in the classroom and she said it was not. I told her to keep Snow White in at recess but she said that was not affective as they were giving her the choice but she always chose recess. In my house you do as you are told. I told Snow White if she didn’t complete her work in class she would have to stay in at recess. She said “The teacher says I don’t have to so I go. It’s more fun.” I talked with the teacher again but she again insisted it is up to the child. I told her that my daughter is a child and her education is not up to her.

Then there was a new development at school…rocking. The teacher mimicked it in a meeting. When I was asked what I thought the first thing that came to mind was “do you need to use the bathroom?” I know when the bathroom breaks are at school and yes, sometimes Snow White needs to use the facilities but waits for that time. I told her she can get a pass but she said a few times the teacher said “in a few minutes.” Snow White said “Mom, do you know how embarrassing it is to have to ask in front of the whole class to pee??!” This resulted in a bouncing ball to wait it out. Unfortunately, this bouncing ball is on the chair all day long. This leads to bouncing and rocking through out the day. This also leads to a new “issue” to discuss at the next school meeting.

I cannot tell you how many times a few of the women at these meetings told me “If you Loved your child” or “If you cared anything about your daughter” or “If you were a good mother…you would sign the papers allowing us to do the psychological and psychiatric testing.” One time I actually talked back to them and said “Did you Just call me a Bad Mother?!” The immediate response was “No, not at all. It wont harm anything so why not just sign the papers?”

The state testing was coming up and therefore another meeting was held at the school. “If your daughter does not pass the state testing we will not pass her to the next grade.” This was also said to my daughter when she was brought into the meeting. She said in sort of an apologetic voice with her head down “I don’t have a problem passing tests. I did less third grade and still passed the state testing and all my classes. I will pass the tests.” After this meeting she hugged my waist all the way to the car. Before we reached the car she was crying and said “I don’t know why all this is a big deal. Homework is for those who don’t get it in class. How do you not get it? You know it or you don’t and I always pass the tests.” When we were in the car I told her it isn’t all about the tests but doing the work in class to prove it to the teacher. She kicked the seat in front of her and said “But the teacher said I don’t have to do it. I can do what I want in class and then go to recess.”

One day while at work I received a phone call from our family doctor’s office. “We need you to bring Snow White in for a check up.” When I asked why they said they received a notification from the school that concerned them. I promptly agreed to have the appointment ASAP which was during that same week. The doctor met with us and she did examine Snow White. Then she told me something that unsettled me. “You must have the testing done but have it done privately. Do Not let the school to the testing. You will be giving up much of your rights as a parent if you allow them to do the testing. I will give you a list of names. You must have her tested or they will do the testing themselves. If you do not have her tested yourself then I have to tell them. In order for you to get a referral I need to write down something for them to test her on so I am writing down ODD.” She explained that ODD was an oppositional disorder usually seen in teenagers who do not like authority. “The school is coming after you and you need a lawyer. Don’t take this lightly. I don’t see what they see but they are already taking their statements outside of the school now.” She was so sympathetic and a bit more afraid for us that I was at the time that it really hit home. We were really in for a fight and she had seen this before.

I took her advise to heart but forgot to get a copy of the letter that was faxed to the Dr. office from the school. Since my work was right next door to the school I dropped by on my lunch hour to get a copy and the school pretended not to know anything about the faxed letter. I was so upset about being lied to my face that I took a little extra time during my lunch and went to the Dr. office who produced the three page fax. I cried after I read the fax. No wonder they wanted to see Snow White immediately. It was horrible and so not true. Ok, when I say horrible it didn’t say she was abused but it said things like she was hallucinating, always in her own world, doesn’t make friends and so many other things that I was just shocked! They made her sound like she just sits in her own drool puddle at school.

How could they send such a thing to anyone? How could they send out anything to anyone without letting me know or at the very least sending me a copy as well? It wasn’t an abuse letter it was a circle the answer questionnaire with no possible good answers. If there was abuse I believe the school has the right to take maters in to their own hands but not to spread obscure lies. What questionnaire has an answer that is either always or never? Why would those be the only choices? Have you ever been scared? Have you ever been sad? How can you answer that as never or always? We had a death in our family and yes we were sad? Is the child defiant? Yes, she did not do her work after we told her she could do it now or at recess but there was no room for explanation. Is hygiene an issue? Once and only once the teacher thought Snow White smelled and might have had an “accident” and asked me to bring a change of clothes to school. I came to the school but Snow White did not have an accident and the teacher said it must have been an off day for her nose as she didn’t smell it any more.

The next school meeting was just over a month before school let out. The state testing was over and Snow White completely gave up doing most of her in class work. When she did turn it in it wasn’t graded, only stamped by a fellow student who came around to see that it was done. This was the way it was done all during the school year so why did it bother her now? It bothered her because “it wouldn’t matter if I wrote down Yankee doodle dandy to a math question.”

So on to the meeting, I was told to sign the papers to do the testings or they would hold my daughter back in the 4th grade. I was faced with signing the papers “or else.” That was it. Ok, that wasn’t just it. I stated that I had already contacted my insurance company and would have Snow White tested outside of the school. This lead to one of the 10 women standing up, pounding her fists on the table and screaming at me in words I could barely make out. Why would this decision make her so angry? They wanted my daughter tested and I agreed. I just didn’t agree to let the school do it.

When the angry woman settled down the principal excused herself from the meeting. A woman sitting to my right handed me a packet then said “ I observed your daughter today in class and this is my report.” I looked across the table at the teacher quizzically since we both knew my daughter was not in school that day, she was home with her brother with a fever and vomiting. The teacher said nothing and just looked down in her lap. She had sent me an email prior to the meeting saying things that lead me to retain a lawyer. I thought it was odd that this state has so many problems with the schools that there is a specific division of lawyers dedicated to school issues.

I looked over the report while the woman next to me explained that out sourcing the testing does not mean they would even consider the results of those test. She also pointed out that each of the tests cost anywhere from $1,700 - $2,000. “Why put yourself through that expense when we can do it for Free?” I told them I was instructed to do so and I was following through on that. I did not tell them I had a lawyer. I didn’t want them to know yet. My lawyer said that once the school knew I had a lawyer they would postpone the meeting until the next school year, hold my daughter back a grade and then make a plea to the magistrate to wave parental consent for the tests.

This same woman sitting to my right also explained “Half the time these out side sources spell the child’s name wrong so we really don’t have proof they did the testing on the right child!” Just after she said this I circled ALL the times SHE misspelled my daughter’s name AND the DATE. Then I turned it and pushed it towards her so she could see it better. She said something snide to me and the teacher spoke up “Why does it mater if she is taking the option to out source the testing? She has that right, that option.” The room went silent.

A few moments later the “papers” were passed down to me again and all eyes were on me. They were a different color this time but requesting the same permission. I pushed them to the middle of the table and again said, “I am opting to have the testing done elsewhere.” Another woman said that if I signed the papers today they would allow my daughter to pass to the next grade. I was starting to cave and asked what time frame the testing would take place? I was told it would be made a priority in the first few weeks of the new school year then it would take a few more weeks (6) to evaluate. After this recommendations and other meetings would take place. I would have no say so, I would have to do what was directed as would the school.

At this point I was near tears but I wouldn’t show them there. I either had to sign the papers or my daughter would not pass. If I only signed the papers she would pass. They said if she passed the state testing she would pass but my lawyer explained to me that they wont have that information until August and school lets out in June so that was an empty promise to my daughter.

I finally came to a point in this meeting that I wanted to know all the options. So, if I signed the papers she would pass to the next grade, go through testing, I would have to abide by the interpretation and results as the school saw fit and not have any say so or disagree with anything they decide. I decided to hold my ground and say that the testing will be done out side of school. Testing because of how a child holds a pencil? How a child walks to the bathroom once? How a child bounces on a ball on their chair? That the school was treating me with not passing my child on to the next grade based on my signing these papers?

I said that I would have Snow White tested and I meant it. I would have it done over the summer vacation which would give “us” as a whole a jump on things rather than waiting until after the school year started. They told me that if I did it on my own they would hold Snow White back in the 4th grade and let her peers go on to the 5th grade while they sorted out the details of the testing. This makes no sense to me. How can they pass her on if I sign the papers and let them take longer to do the testing? Wasn’t it the whole point that I have her tested as they wanted? Wouldn’t that be the same? Why do they think it is not the same? It would be done sooner rather than later and Snow White could still enter the 5th grade.

Three of the women in the meeting were very angry with me through out the whole thing. I was glad when it was over. It was too intense and I was trying to be very cool and collected. The next week I met again with my lawyer. I have to rephrase that, he is Snow White’s lawyer and stated so in our first meeting. “You may be the one paying me but my interest is in what is best for your daughter. If the testing comes back that your daughter needs special attention at school or to be medicated I will be her representative, not yours. If we do not agree that I am to represent your daughter’s best interest then we can part ways at any time.” I was really touched by this and I showed him all the documentation I had.

He also noticed that Snow White’s grades were always good and that she had passed the last year’s state testing on grade and above. He was really interested in the interim report that was altered with whiteout. I so wish I could find that original document!! I sent a copy back to the school so I could keep the original. I still cannot find the original. I kept it at my desk at work for a few weeks. I am afraid that I folded it in an old document no longer needed and put it in the recycling bin. If I brought it home and find it, it would be of great use to show the school has altered documents to their benefit. At the time I received it I was suspicious about the white outs but didn’t think it was a document the school had to obtain the original of through out the year.

Along with that the lawyer said that since the school has been asking for parental permission for so long it is not likely they will receive it through the school judicial system. If the school thought this was such an emergency they would have pursued a judicial interaction before hand. He stated that the judge would also take in to consideration that Snow White has already taken the testing at great expense to the parent. The judge will question why the parent took on the expense and he has a ready answer that the school changed their reasons for the testing over and over again over the years she has attended the public schools here in this state.

At my 4th of July picnic I asked parents if they had received their child’s report cards. All answered that they had received them last month. When I said that I had not yet received Snow White’s the unanimous reply was “they are waiting to CTOAs (Cover Their Own A**s). Last week I finally decided to call the school and told them that I have not yet received a copy of my daughter’s report card.

I had received Snow White’s State Testing Report two weeks ago. She scored Proficient in Math and Advanced in Reading, Comprehension, and Spelling. She was only 3 points below Advanced for Math and 3 points from a perfect score for RCS. This past Monday I finally received Snow White’s Report Card. She is in the 4th grade and yet she was scored BB (Below Basic) for Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication, Division, Fractions, Time. My daughter knows her mathematics and knew how to do fractions before the school started to teach her. She scored well enough at the end of the school year to receive a score of Proficient from the state testing but yet the school says she has BB rating? Snow White has a great passion for reading but finds the books in school very dull, “Who wants to read a book with the words half as tall as a normal paragraph and about a poor dog who looses a leg then gets better? That stage of books Mom, they always get better and there is no after story. It isn’t a real chapter book story.” I flipped through a few of the books offered in the library box in her room and found they were very 2nd grade material. No wonder she cannot stand the material. Also, her room is not allowed anything but the library box to read from. No wonder she is put off by reading now. She loved reading before but almost stopped all together when it became an assignment to right down what you were reading and how far you got. She finished books before and Chapter Book

On the news in either York or Lancaster there was a young boy who had two breast removals due to the medications that the school said he must be on or he would not be allowed to attend school. If the mother did not admister the drug at home and provide the school with the drug then he was not allowed to attend school. It was a behavior medication prescribed after the school testing. This poor innocent child had to indure breast removal surgery but the school was not held accountable. The mother was told to contact the pharmasitical company. Yet, if she had not given him the prescribed medication her son would not be allowed in school and she would have gone to jail. What really took me by surprise is that no one thought to hold the school who diagnosed and demanded the prescription be held accountable.

Before learning the cost and the way the school goes about testing I would not have thought this family wouldn't know the end cost. I am so sorry for what they have been through. I also do not believe this starts with the company who supplies the medication but those who started the process and went through with it. Starting with the school.

Guess where I have been?

2009-02-01T12:10:00.000-08:00

Yes, I have been VERY busy but look Where I was busy. Can you guess where?

Poor Customer Service = Missed Sales at Christmas and Year End by Zales "The Diamond Store"

2008-12-29T22:21:00.001-08:00

Dear Zales,

I am writing you to say I am upset with the complete lack of courtesy or customer service that I have received on my last two visits to your stores. I was treated as if I were an idiot and on top of that I was called a liar by your sales associates.

Over the past year I have made several purchases at the Zales in the WC Mall in my town. I purchased jewelry at this Zales for my mother, all three of my past mother-in-laws, all of my nieces, my sister, sister-in-law, my own children and on several occasions I have made impulse purchases for myself. In May alone I purchased my children’s birthday presents, my nieces birthday presents, graduation gifts and a few Mother’s Day gifts.

On August 15, 2008 I went to Zales to purchase a watch battery. When I returned to the store after a shopping excursion around the mall I decided on impulse to also purchase a ring. The young redheaded girl behind the counter (maybe 16 years old) was extremely helpful, very cheerful and in training. A heavy set woman with blonde hair was doing paper work near the back of the store. She stopped what she was doing to show the young trainee how to ring up the watch battery, the ring and print out my warranty.

In October one of the small stones surrounding the large stone of my impulse buy - fell out. I was in the GM Mall in my town and thought since I was shopping there that day I would drop off the ring to be repaired. The sales associates laughed at me! They said I did not buy this ring at their store and I was not in their system so I couldn’t possibly have purchased this ring at any Zales.

I was irritated by the treatment I received from the sales associates at the GM Mall but figured I would just take the ring back to the Zales I purchased the ring at the WC Mall the next day. I dropped the ring off without issue. Since I would be without my big ring for a week or more I decided at the last minute to purchase another ring to wear in the mean time. I enjoy new things.

On December 9th I received a post card stating that my ring was repaired and ready to be picked up. I called the store the morning of December 10th to make sure it was ready since I planned on stopping by during a lunch hour shopping trip to the mall. What should have been a 5 minute transaction turned into an hour long ordeal.

When I arrived at the store I gave the sales associate the post card I received in the mail and told her I was there to pick up my ring. I also gave her the ring I bought on the same day I dropped the other off since it required the main center stone to be tightened as it was actually jiggling and making a clicking noise when I moved my hand. She pulled out a small yellow envelope then asked how I wanted to pay for the repair for the first ring? I was surprised since I was told the warranty would cover the repair when I dropped it off. I explained to the blonde associate that the ring was covered under warranty. I was laughed at by your sales associate who also sarcastically told me “Not only did you Not purchase a warranty for this ring but you did Not purchase This Ring at This Store or any Zales. If you Had you would be in our system.”

I explained every detail of my purchase as mentioned above and showed her which case and shelf the ring was in when I purchased it. She still insisted that I did not purchase the ring from any Zales let alone the one I was standing in. I was getting extremely irritated at this point. She asked me for my home phone number, cell phone number, my past address, current address, how to spell my first name, how to spell my last name, was I Sure it was a Zales store and not some Other store in the mall. To which I said to her “Did you Just call me an Idiot? I know which case and shelf the ring was in when I purchased it and every detail of the transaction! Not only have you Not found this sales transaction you Only seem to have Two sales with my information” At this point other customers started to leave the store.

Since there was only 5 minutes left of my lunch hour I said “Fine, I will pay for the repair which is more than the cost of the warranty just so I can get out of here and get back to work. I Will return later With my paperwork and I will expect an Apology AND a Refund!” The sales associate Laughed at me and said “You could save yourself a little money later on if I actually purchased a warranty on the ring today.” I was so angry I couldn’t speak! I had already purchased the warranty and she was still insisting that I purchase it Again! The sales associate said “Fine when she took my credit card to process the purchase.” After ringing it up she gave me my ring. While I looked at my ring I noticed one of the stones on the side of the band was PINK not Clear!

It wasn’t even the stone that was to be replaced! I questioned this and the sales associate obviously had enough of me so she passed my ring to a younger associate and said “Walk this customer out of the store and keep hold of this ring while she looks through the loop in a different light.” This was My ring and I had already paid for the repair. Why on earth would she need someone from the store to hold on to My ring?

After stepping a two feet out of the store the young sales associate and I both saw there was some sort of red either in or under the stone that looked pink. The young sales associate showed the ring to the blonde associate who had been very rude to me the whole time and mentioned the red coloring. The blonde associate cupped her hand over the young associates ear and whispered something to her. Then the blonde associate said to me in a very irritated voice “Instead of repairing your Other ring we are going to give you a New ring exactly the same and write up your other ring as damaged merchandise. Our manager will be here on Thursday IF you want to pursue this matter further. That is all, no need to do anything else today.” She was so over me being there. She was trying to help another customer while I was talking to her but she shooed me away. I took the new ring and my repaired ring and left stomping mad.

After work I went home, took the original receipt and warranty out of my jewelry box and stomped my high heels through the mall over to the Zales store. As I entered the Zales store the blonde associate was still there and talking to a family. I walked up and said nothing, just stood there for maybe a few seconds. She turned around, smiled and with the fakest cheer said “Hi, how Are you?” I told her “I do Not appreciate being called a Liar, treated like and Idiot or asking to pay for a warranty I had already purchased.” The family she was talking to left the store immediately and she said while smirking “I never called you an idiot or a liar.” She started to walk away and blow me off when I pulled a very familiar looking black flyer in a clear envelope out of my purse. The associate didn’t even blink when she turned on the Charm routine. She never apologized but did credit my card in the same amount that was charge to me during my lunch hour for the repair.

While reviewing my original receipt and warranty she noticed the number or something that indicates who rung up the transaction. Apparently it was a trainee who had only been on the job for two or three days. She called her off her break and reprimanded her in front of me for ringing it up as a cash sale and explained that was the reason my name and information did not come up on their computers. I told the blonde sales associate that I already knew the person who assisted me in the purchase was in training and told the young girl it was Not her fault since the heavy set blonde (a different blonde) rung up the transaction as part of her training. Now I am thinking the rude blonde associate not only lacks customer service skills but also the skills to work as a team player nor would she be someone I would want as a co-worker. I am not saying this to have her fired but maybe she needs some training in the proper ways of business.

After hearing that the sale of this ring was rung up incorrectly and the fact that only Two of my sales actually showed up in the Zales Database at ONLY the store of purchase I asked about the many, many other sales transactions I had made during this year. What if my relatives dropped off something for repair or to resize a ring I purchased for them? I gave them the warranties but what if they had the same problem I did? It would seem like I gave them a fake warranty! That was unacceptable to me!

The blonde associate explained to me that no matter what the warranty number would be available on all purchased warranties and would come up on their database. I was confused since I did purchase a warranty on every piece of jewelry I purchase be it from Zales or another jeweler. How is it that my name, phone numbers, address and all other information is printed out on my warranties but it does not exist in your databases for the many, many purchases I have made this year?!

The blonde sales associate said that every warranty is stored in the database and to complete the database for all of my transactions I would need to bring in every sales receipt and every warranty I have purchased over the past year. Do you Know how Embarrassing that will be for me to ask nearly every member of my family to hand over their warranties because the jewelry store I purchased their many gifts from doesn’t have any record of the sale or warranty??? That makes me look extremely cheap, that I did not care where I purchased their gifts from or at the very least that the company I selected to purchase from might or might not have the information in the system when they Need a service from the warranty! That same company might or might not honnor the warranty or worse ask for money on top of the warranty!

Before I left the blonde sales associate said “If you are still thinking of telling the store manager about this whole thing don’t worry about it. I will fill him in on everything.” The way she said it I just knew she would only cover her own butt and not explain the whole ordeal.

When I returned to work from my lunch hour to pick up my repaired ring I was Very upset and told every co-worker about it! I told my family and my out of state and out of country friends about it! I was Very upset! I told them the next day what had happened that night when I returned with my paper work and how I never received an apology after showing Proof that I Did Purchase the ring from that very store AND the Warranty! I was still upset about it Today when another co-worker whom I only see from time to time mentioned how Customer Service has gone down hill. I explained my whole ordeal with your store to her. She was appalled and said she would have contacted corporate about the situation and that I was nicer than I should have been!

For those of my friends who were at ITS the first ring I dropped off was the big ring I wore at ITS. The second ring I dropped off for repair was the one I bought to wear at the Happy Hour on Black Friday.

I refused to purchase ANY of my Christmas gifts from Zales Jewelers as a result of this mess! I took my business to the other jewelers in the same mall who didn't have the attitude problem.

High School Reunions, New Love and Then Some...

2008-11-24T22:01:00.000-08:00

So much has gone on since I last posted. Drama…not like the high school drama, just parenting in the “other country” as my children and others have now named our new “State”. Try as we might to adapt to this new State after all this time, well, it just isn’t like “home“, yet.

I am finally in ONE house, the New house!

I went to another Get Together with friends from my past.

I met a Blast from the Past!! It was Fab…U..Lous!! The kind of fab-u-lous that makes your knees week and your pulse quicken when you brush hands at the table. Then holding hands while walking through the leaves at a state park which was once your stomping grounds.

Oh wait! I didn’t tell you about the first Get Together with my friends! There was Drama but I will get to that later. Things started out slow and awkward. The hotel Hampton Inn, didn’t have my reservation when I checked in. The girl behind the desk actually said “Are you sure you have the right hotel?” I spent 2 hours on the phone with them booking a suite for my friends and a room for myself. My response to her sarcastic, overworked and underpaid, remark …”Did you JUST call me Stupid?!” She and the other girls at the front desk all took a few jaw dropping steps backwards. Stuttering she said “Um-a-um-a-na, No.” They eventually found my reservation. After two hours on the phone with reservations to figure out how to book two rooms at once, they still messed it up by booking the suite for two nights and my room, the person paying for it all, for the wrong night! The front desk corrected the situation making my room for two nights and the suite for one night. Why didn’t the suite come up when I checked in? It would have been fine if I staid in the suit the first night but even that didn’t come up when I checked in.

I was finally checked in and on my way to my room. Oh my room preference is away from the elevators but I gave up on them fixing that. Then I went to check my wireless internet access and that wasn’t working. “We can send our maintenance man up in 20 minutes but it might be longer.” Oh joy! For some reason I thought it would work when I checked in and I let everyone know I would check my email and websites when I arrived.

Oh well, there is the bar down stairs where our day long party will end the evening. I was really surprised at a few things. Most of the people were 20 years older than me. There was a little glimmer of hope that not everyone who came here was in their 60s. I did promise something about an 80s night of music. Well, this woman passed by in a really short denim skirt, she was actually stick thin, blonde curls down to her waist. I was finally feeling optimistic that the under 60s crowd did still come to this place to dance! Then “She” turned around. The face that turned around was that of a 60 + woman! It would not have shocked me if she had not been wearing that micro jean mini skirt. It just seems so WRONG to be that age and have that face when you wear an outfit like that! Up until then I didn’t understand why the 30 + set (like myself) shouldn’t wear a plaid school girls mini skirt. I put my mini kilt in a box when I got home! It just isn’t right! Even a woman can see that! I can still fit the mini kilt I wore in high school but after what I saw, I wont do that again!

Since everyone down in the bar and dance floor was well over my age category I decided to give my in room internet another try. There were a few emails and website updates. Nothing major so I decided to venture out for a bite to eat. I. Got. Lost! In my own hometown! Too many new roads and new turns off the old roads. I couldn’t even figure out where to park for downtown dining! Roads were already being closed off for the festival.

I called my friend Rick to see if he had any suggestions and I was freaking out a bit about getting lost. He had been back a few times so maybe he would have some idea of what to do. He was helpful but then I saw something shiny! “Heather, are you still driving? You seem distracted.” “Um, I am in a store. Okay, I saw something in a window and I had to go in. I am a girl ya know. Looking for the perfect outfit. Hey! I did pass by three shoe stores before I actually stopped.” He laughed at me but staid on the phone while I told him about the different outfits I saw and how disappointed I was when I was actually in the store. Eventually I went back to my van and drove around. I had to say goodbye to Rick so he could get ready for traveling and I could find a place to eat. He did laugh more at my “what way does this street go!! I am on the high way again!! How do I get back?!” I gave up finding a fancy restaurant but wouldn’t give in to fast food that would make me feel like I ate rocks. I settled on Cracker Barrel. It was near the hotel and I wouldn’t get lost downtown or end up back on the highway again. Message to Cracker Barrel…if someone orders food to go, don’t just give them the covered dish…give them plastic ware!!! I was taking my food to go and didn’t realize there was no napkin, no fork and no knife, not even a butter knife or a spoon!! Thanks for the Salt and Pepper though! Thank goodness I remembered the suit case I used was previously a pageant suit case (much like a Girl Scout kit-be prepared) still loaded with the basic essentials like one set of plastic ware! The Cracker Barrel didn’t even give me one napkin so I used a tissue from the room. Tip, pot roast might require Utensils!

The internet wasn’t working when I returned to my room so I called a friend who walked me through the process. Yeah! I didn’t have to wait for the maintenance man to fix the internet. He did come by later to offer me a port-a-crib. I was in a room by myself. I did hear a baby crying on our floor so I cheerfully told him he might have the wrong room. While he was at my room I did mention the dripping noise in the bathroom and he said that would be fixed in time. I thought it would be fixed during the time I was there.

Around 4 am the dripping noise and my excitement about the next days events, the reunion with so many friends...I fell asleep.

Then I woke up every half hour. I was excited about the next day!! After the first hour I was no longer amused by the sound and vibration of the elevator. Oh well, at least it distracted me from the sound of the dripping faucet in the bathroom. Around 8 am I was so tired the sounds outside the room didn't bother me. I was tired by morning and the internet stopped working so I couldn't check my emails. I gave up, gave in and went to in to town.

Getting Back To High School - Oh the Drama and High School Guys

2008-10-30T00:09:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have been extremely busy. Soooo much to tell you but I need to take a chill pill so I don’t try to do it all in one post. It would just be way too confusing.

I still need to put off the continuation of “Crazy For You” since I haven’t seen Chris yet. We might catch up with each other next month.

So far there was the Get Together with friends back in my home town. This started out as a request to meet up with all the Angels but grew to a much larger group. At first I didn’t think too many people would be interested in coming to see me. Why would they? I thought of myself as an average girl in high school and didn’t think I was all that special so, aside from my best friends maybe a handful of people would come. The numbers grew and grew based on word of mouth at lunches and other such things like friends saying to post on a website that I am coming to town and let’s All get together.

Strolling down memory lane has so many ups. You remember all the great times and forget about all the real chaos behind the scenes. Between the time I announced that I would be back in my hometown and the date of the Festival there was so much drama I was going to back out. When I was “wishing for the good ole days” I forgot to wish for everything but nail-biting-what-the-heck-afraid-to-sleep-cold-sweat-drama. There was huge jealousy spiraling out of control for no reason at all. Girls fighting over men, via emails and online commentary and even a few of those late night phone calls between friends “guess who has a crush on so and so?” and “Can you believe he/she is talking to him/her and not me right at this moment?”

At first I thought this next issue would have been a pleasant surprise but it actually scared me a bit. About 95% of the guys who RSVPed or contacted me after hearing I was coming back…well, they felt the need to confess exactly how much they liked me back in the day. A few actually scared me into blocking any way they could contact me. I was greatly surprised by the number of admissions to having a huge crush on me. I would have to say 98% of those crushes I had absolutely no clue about back then or the select few I had spoken with after high school.

Oh and another really funny thing was a few guys who said they remembered me actually didn’t remember me by name but as soon as they looked me up in the year book suddenly remembered they had great amorous intentions towards me. I did test them a little by asking when and where they saw me in school , who I hung out with most and what my usual attire was since I was a bit out of the norm.

Apparently at Players I was a bit consumed in my own little world of worry and wonder. Several guys said they went to Players but I couldn’t even imagine them at that place. Then there were a few that I suddenly recalled actually dancing with at Players. So not like me to dance with them since they went to my school and were not part of my guy pal group. But, I did dance with them because they asked and I knew they wouldn’t have wondering hands. There were actually a few guys who said they wanted to come to the Get Together but didn’t trust themselves to behave well. They remembered I had rules and I would be greatly offended if they crossed any of my lines. Those few decided it was better to email rather than see me in person.

A few more guys were concerned about how much their looks had changed since high school. I thought that was funny since I had no intentions to make any romantic connections. I just wanted to see everyone, stroll down memory lane a bit and catch up on what they have been up to over the years since I last saw them. This last set of guys were part of the group I had not seen since high school. Don’t they realize most of us have changed in our physical appearance since high school? I even told them over and over again I was no longer a size 2 and 98 lbs. At the Get Together and before hand the women all seemed to be concerned with who was thinner than they were (I admit it was something I thought about a few days before going) and the guys were concerned with their hair or lack of hair. Many of the guys are now bald and I would have never considered that a good look on any guy before but I now have a new appreciation for baldness. The bald or hair thinning guys had me doing a double take look and I almost gave myself whiplash. Maybe it was the smile on their faces but my goodness I never thought I would like that sort of look. Any guy considering not going to a reunion of any type based on his lack of hair should really reconsider and get himself to that reunion.

There was one guy (Phil) who couldn’t seem to wait for the Get Together. He traveled to my state to see me. It was the cutest thing!! He brought his old letterman leather sleeved jacket for me to wear with all his pins but something was going on with the leather sleeves. They were sticky to the touch and seemed to be decomposing in some sort of weird way. Still, he brought it to show me he intending letting me wear it on our “date”. That wasn’t the cutest part. Since we went to the same school it was against my “rules” to date him and he never mustered up the guts to ask me out. Well, he went through his old boxes and dug up his class ring which he placed on my finger at the start of the date and asked me to “go steady.” He was even shaking and a bit nervous just like the guys were back in high school when they asked. Is that like the cutest reunion thing you have ever heard? It is the cutest I have ever heard! Ok, so it was really stepping back in time but such a sweet gesture!

There is so much more to tell but it will have to wait until later. I am STILL moving items from the old house to the new house. I think one more (it’s always one more) loaded truck will do the trick. Well, it did take two moving companies to move me to my new state. I should have remembered that. I do have my New Year’s resolution…to unpack the boxes in the newly dubbed “Box Room” unpacked or in the proper place (seasonal, craft and such doesn’t need unpacking) by New Years Day 2010. Also, I will have at least ONE thing hung on a wall (picture, ornamental item or something) by New Years Day. I really do hate patching holes in the wall if I don’t like it at first try.

Short on Time so ... Picture Book of What I Have Been Up To

2008-10-16T17:27:00.000-07:00

Went to work one day and guess who was there?

Went out with friends to celebrate closing on the new house. No, I wasn't in trouble. See those smiling faces?

The "New" house has this...What? No, it's not that kind of bar. It is a 1950's Soda Fountain! I mentioned this to my Girl Scouts and they all want to have a sleepover at my house.

Oh, and what is this? Starting from left to right: wood stove, indoor grill and gas stove. All of this is in the same room as the Soda Fountain.

This was me mid June this year

This was me September 4th with a Secret Service Man (yes, really).

Me on September 15th (sucking in my tummy as if my life depended on it)

Me on September 28th, not sucking in my tummy. This was taken after being in the office for 10 hours then coming home to pack up boxes for the move and three nights of 2 hrs of sleep each. This photo was taken at around midnight by my son who snook up behind me and surprised me! I know my make up really should have been take off by then and eww but look at the rest of me! I went from a size 16 to an 8!

Did I starve myself? Did I join a gym and work out like crazy while starving myself? No, I bought a Ramones CD and started dancing around the house while doing house work, helping Snow White with homework and packing. Just moving around (dancing around) after work every day for an hour.

Went back to my "hometown" during a festival and to see many wonderful friends.

Played Tourist and took 364 photos in my hometown but my blog wont hold them all. Might post more later.

A Whole Lot O' Busy

2008-09-21T15:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't been updating the stories as much as I should. I have been busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest lately. Work was crazy for a little while and I almost had to travel over seas. Now work has died down and my personal life has really kicked up several notches.

I found another house in the area that I like! Yeah! We are moving soon! What do you mean I have pack again? I hate packing. If I could afford to buy everything new I would so not pack. Too bad I am not independently wealthy. I will be packing and getting ready for the "Reunion" as well.

What reunion? Didn't I tell you? Well, here is the story. I contacted my five best friends from high school, the Angels. One thing lead to another and now my going back to our old town has turned into a good sized reunion. Not your typical high school reunion with just one class and one school. No, this reunion includes several schools around the area with alumni from the classes 1984-1987.

Guess what? Chris wont be there but I will see him in November when he returns from his travels. I might stop the stories until I chat with everyone to make sure I don't forget anything. So far everyone else is really surprised at how much I remember from high school.

Well, I need to get a few boxes packed tonight so I am going to close this for now. I am not abandoning you, I am just taking care of few things. Believe me, I would love to do this every day but the responsible side of me keeps pushing me to take care of things.

Unexpected Turns

2008-09-08T22:28:00.000-07:00

So, there we were, Giggles, Dave, Chris and I all on our way to O.C. in Giggles gigantic Mercury. It took about three hours to get to the Bay Bridge. Once we were there traffic came to a stand still. This always seemed to happed at the bridge, even in the middle of the night. I decided to get out of the car to stretch my legs. Dave also got out of the car to stretch.

I didn’t know Dave at all, he sort of gave me a weird vibe so I didn’t really talk with him much during the Prom. I actually found myself keeping a good deal of distance between us. Outside the car he started out with small talk which I didn’t mind. Then it started to feel like a quiz game with him asking me question after question. This wasn’t a conversation it felt more like an interview. Since the cars were still not moving forward I leaned back on the hood of Giggles’ car. Dave came to stand next to me and started stroking my right arm. I quickly pulled away from him and Chris jumped out of the car. “Hey buddy, what do you think you are up to?” Chris pulled me away from the car and away from Dave. Giggles started complaining about being the only person in the car. I looked at Dave and said “Why don’t you give Giggles a break for a few minutes.” Dave folded his arms across his chest and said “It’s not my car. She wanted to drive. She gets to sit behind the wheel.” I rolled my eyes and walked over to the driver’s door “Ok, you come out and stretch, I will sit behind the wheel. If the cars start moving then you take over. Ok?” Giggles wasn’t about to let anyone get behind the wheel of her car. “No! All of you come back inside the car. I am sure we will start moving soon.”

Chris opened the back door on the drivers side and push me in. He looked at Dave and said “You can sit up front with YOUR date.” Dave said “Prom is over Dude. I am just along for the beach trip.” Then he opened the back seat door on the opposite side of the car. Giggles was not at all happy. She should have been angry with Dave but no, she was upset with me. She demanded that I crawl up to the front seat with her. Chris and I argued that Dave should go up front with her. In the end no one was willing to change their current seat.

There I was in the back seat with Chris to my left and Dave on my right. Dave irritating me by whispering in my ear so Chris pulled me up to sit across his lap. It was very late and I was getting sleepy so I rested my head on arm rest of the door. Chris asked if I was comfortable and I nodded. He wrapped his arms around me and put my head on his shoulder. “Isn’t that better?” and I agreed it was much better. I was just about to fall asleep when I felt something on my leg! I looked over at my legs and saw that Dave was rubbing my leg!! I started kicking him in the chest! "Get off of my leg! Leave me alone!! Geesh, can’t you just let me be!"

Giggles had had enough as well. She yelled at me to get up front and told the guys to go to sleep until we get there. I leaned forward to climb over the front seat but Chris held on to me. He argued that Dave should be the one to move since he couldn’t behave. I told Chris “It’s ok, I am tired of having to deal with this. It’s better if I just go up front.” I wanted to sleep but Giggles said I had to stay awake to keep her company. If I was going to stay awake I needed to move around a bit first so I got out of the car and walked up the bridge a bit. At this point we were crawling along with traffic but at least we were moving a bit. Giggles told both of the guys to stay put in the car “She will be back in a minute so don’t worry about it.”

Finally, we reached the end of the bridge and traffic opened up! We were going at the pace of the speed limit. In only a few minutes we would arrive at our hotel. This seemed to pick up everyone’s spirits. As I saw the end of the ride was near I glanced around the car and saw each of them were wearing beaming smiles.

We reached the hotel where Giggles told the guys to unload the car while she checked us in. I was instructed to keep an eye on the guys and our luggage. Giggles came back and showed us the way to our rooms. I carried a few bags, Giggles carried hers and they guys carried up the cooler, their bags and a few odds and ends we had packed. Giggles inserted the key (an actual metal door key) and opened the door. As she flopped down on one of the double beds she laughingly said “Home Sweet Home.” The guys were still outside when Chris said “So, where is our key?” Giggles sat up and said “I need to explain something to you. We only have one room instead of two. I cashed in the other room to pay my portion of the room when we come back for senior week.” The three of us looked at her in disbelief. She continued to explain “I needed more money for gas and rather than ask all of you for more money I changed our two rooms into one. The girls will sleep in one bed and the guys will sleep in the other.” Chris was not happy at all with this arrangement. “I did not spend good money to sleep with some strange guy. I would have gladly paid more for gas than have to share a bed. You didn’t even give us the option. You wait until we are already here to spring this on us?!” He shoved the cooler into the room and stormed off. Giggles said “I don’t see what he is so upset about.” Dave pulled out a beer from the cooler then sat down on the other bed. I went to find Chris to see if I could calm him down.

I found Chris down on the beach kicking sand. He didn’t see me coming up from behind him but something made him aware that I was there. He stopped kicking the sand and without even turning around he said “Can you believe she did this to us?” With that he plopped down to sit in the sand. I sat down next him without saying a word put my hand on his shoulder. He went on to say “I am not, repeat, not going to sleep in the same bed with Dave.” I patted him on the back then said “I completely understand. I don’t even want to sleep in the same room with him.” I paused for a moment then let out a sigh “Poor Dave, no one wants to sleep with him.” We both laughed. I took off my shoes and walked ankle deep in the ocean. I kicked up a bit of water towards Chris. At first he pretended not to be bothered by it. As I turned my back towards him he rushed up behind me, picked me up and swung me around. I screamed and giggled myself silly.

Chris cheered up and we didn’t have to worry about sleeping arrangements for another few hours. We were still planning to watch the sunrise. That was the whole point of driving out to the beach in the middle of the night. We walked back to the room to have a few drinks. I knocked and Dave opened the door. I asked where Giggles was and he explained that she went down stairs for ice. We each had a few drinks and Dave started in on me again. Chris and Dave started arguing so I poured my drink into my prom glass and went down stairs to find Giggles.

I walked down the iron stairs towards the front office. As I passed the front office windows I saw Giggles was obviously flirting with the guy at the front desk. Well, I wasn’t going back up to the room where the guys were arguing so I decided to sit by the empty pool to enjoy my drink in peace. I could hear the crashing waves and a distant radio playing. Everything seemed soft and light. I was surprised that Chris didn’t come looking for me but that was ok. I was enjoying my time alone.

When I finished my drink I decided to go back to the room. Surely the sun would be coming up soon. On my way to the pool gate I stepped on a small piece of glass in my bare feet. I walked up to the front office to see if Giggles was still in there. I didn’t see anyone inside, not even the guy behind the desk. I checked the door and it was still unlocked so I went in. I looked around to see if I could find a Band-Aid. Just then a new front desk guy popped around the corner. I explained in sort of a slurred speech that I stepped on some glass by the pool gate which led to my searching for a Band-Aid. This guy gave me a short lecture stating no one is to be at the pool after 11:00 pm and it was nearly dawn. I laughingly said “What? Are you afraid I would drown in a pool with no water?” He laughed and produced a Band-Aide. He washed off my cut then put the Band-Aid on for me. He insisted on carrying me back to my room “to prevent further injury.” I knocked and Chris answered the door. The front desk guy said “I believe you might have lost something.” Chris didn’t think it was funny but the front desk guy and I thought it was hilarious.

A few minutes later Giggles returned to the room, without ice. “Sorry, ice machine is down for the night.” I laid on the bed closest to the bathroom. I was too tired to stay awake and wanted to take a nap. Giggles said if I fell asleep now I would miss the sunrise. I assured her that I would need a little tiny nap in order to actually see the sunrise. Chris promised to wake me up in time to watch it with everyone. Giggles decided to walk out on the beach since she didn’t want to stay in the room when the beach was right outside.

A few hours later I woke up to the sound of doors slamming. Apparently Giggles was trying to wake me up by slamming the bathroom door shut a few times. With a great deal of sarcasm she said “Oh! Did I wake you? It’s about time you got up. You missed the sunrise already. Do you want to miss a whole day at the beach?” Dave had to put his two cents in too “I had to sleep in a chair since Giggles wouldn’t share the other bed.” I was confused. I didn’t know what he was talking about. I sat up in the bed, rubbed my eyes then I saw him. Chris was asleep in the same bed I was still in! I could see his bare shoulders above the top of the sheets. My hand went to my mouth as I gasped! “Surely, he, he isn’t …um naked under there is he?!” Apparently Chris was awake and heard everything that was going on. He was only pretending to be asleep. He laughed and threw the sheet off of him in one swift movement. I covered my eyes with both of the my hands! I didn’t want to see him naked! Giggles was laughing at me so I peeked through my fingers and saw that Chris was wearing shorts. He said “You fell asleep on top of the bedspread so I covered you up with my half and I slept under the sheet. No big deal. What do you think I am? Some kind of pervert? Please.” Giggles stopped laughing “Chris you were suppose to share a bed with Dave.” To which Chris responded “I never said I was going to sleep with Dave. That was never in the plans we all made.”

I decided to take a shower before heading out to the board walk with everyone. Chris wanted to check out a few things along the beach. Giggles was ready to head out and wasn’t waiting for anyone. She asked Dave to come along and enjoy the day. He decided to stay and wait for me. This lead to Chris staying as well “Heather in the shower and you in the room, not a good combination.” Giggles grabbed her wallet and my arm then whispered in my ear “Make sure you lock the bathroom door. You don’t want either of them in the bathroom with you.” I assured her I was going to lock the bathroom door. Heck, I locked the bathroom door when I took a shower at home.

About an hour later I emerged from the bathroom wearing a pair of white shorts that came down to about my knees and a pink Esprit sweat shirt that completely engulfed me. What? I was tiny and it was the last pink one they had on sale at the Limited. So what if it fit me like a tent. Chris and Dave were both a bit astonished at my baggie look but Chris said “You still look cute but I think you might want jeans. Your legs are going to freeze until lunch rolls around. I assured him I would be just fine so long as I kept moving about. With that the three of us set out to find Giggles. Ok, I was the only one who wanted to find Giggles. They could do whatever they wanted but I reminded them that she had the one and only room key.

Not much was open and the board walk was pretty barren at this time of the season. Add to that most people were keeping warm inside during the cool morning hours. As we walked along the boardwalk I almost wanted to whisper as to not disturb those who might still be sleeping. While on our search for Giggles I popped in to a few shops looking for souvenirs for friends and family. One thing I knew I couldn’t return home without was the Salt Water taffy. Why do people make such a fuss over taffy? Why did I have to watch as if I were mesmerized by the taffy pulley in the front window display?

During our walk I was surprised by a man who seemed to be from Jamaica. He wore an over sized rainbow colored crochet hat with long dreadlocks dangling down from all sides. I loved listening to his accent. He convinced me that I just had to try this new art. You pick out a colored or white square piece of paper then he places it on a spinning wheel inside a container. After which you pick out different colors of paint in what looks like cheap restaurant ketchup squeeze bottles. Once your square started spinning in the container you squeeze the tubes of paint either one at a time or two at once at the square. It makes a neat little design that reminded me of an Spiro-graph. The guys thought I shouldn’t waste my money on it but I decided it was an inexpensive souvenir and a little funny too.

We finally caught up to Giggles at Freddy’s, a pizza place right next to Board Walk Fries. As I had pizza before but never the Board Walk Fries I wanted to try out the fries. For just a few bucks you get a giant sized “cup” full of fries with the skins still on, sprinkled with Old Bay seasoning. They were Great! I couldn’t eat the whole “cup” myself so I shared with everyone. Eventually we ended up giving them to Dave because he licked his fingers then grabbed a few more. Ewww. Who wants Dave’s soggy cooties on their fries?

After the rest of them ate pizza Giggles asked “What should we do next?” I suggested building a sand castle but that was too juvenile for them. Chris said the only way he would play in the sand is if he could burry Dave. Giggles and I sort of snickered but still, we couldn’t do that. He didn’t want sand up his shorts and we didn’t want sand all over the hotel room either. Growing up on the East coast beaches took it’s toll on me. I hated more than anything to get sand in my hair. Even after living in Maryland, hours and hours from the beach, for six years, I would still catch myself running my fingers through my hair checking for sand granules. (I still do that to this very day…weird I know.)

We decided to make our way up to the very end of the board walk. This was actually my first trip to O.C. and everything about the traffic on the bridge I had only heard about from my friends. I think my parents were tired of the beach so they never took us on family trips to O.C. So, I was a little disappointed to find out all the rides and games were still shut down. Every board walk I had been on in the past seemed to be open year round. If you have ever watched Gallagher “The Maddest” (comedian) when he talks about how the US was discovered in earlier days, when people reached California they saw the end of the continent and they were pissed so they built piers. When I reached the end of the board walk I felt just like that. That was it? I wanted to go further!

Oh well, with no further to go we turned around and headed back down the board walk. We walked down a long pier near the middle of the beach and then under it to see if there were any sea shells the shops didn’t get that morning. There wasn’t much else to do so we went back to the room to have a few more drinks. Well, I wasn’t up to having anything to drink, alcohol wise. It was getting a little boring in the room so I decided to go back outside and build my own sand castle by myself. A little boy came over to help me with my castle. We had sticks and blades of some sort of weed for flags, a few pebbles and itty bitty shells for decoration. When we thought it was finished we decided a moat was needed. Unfortunately, the sand sucked up all of our water in the moat. I noticed that my legs were growing red so I let him burry just my legs in the sand. His mother was close by and seemed to enjoy the fact that she had a babysitter right there on the beach. After awhile they had to leave.

I left my legs buried in the sand as I watched the waves roll in. Even though it wasn’t near dark the beach was a bit deserted. I don’t remember how much time had passed but eventually Chris appeared at my side. “What are you doing out here all by yourself and only half buried?” “Just enjoying the sounds of the beach. See my sand castle! A little boy helped me build it.” Chris laughed and sat down next to me pushing his bare feet under the sand. He brought with him two drinks and I said “I hope one of those is not for me.” “No chance, these are mine. Go brave the essence that is Giggles if you want a drink of your own. I have had my fill of her for the day.” I giggled at the thought of the two of them battling wits and my missing it. At times it was really something entertaining to witness. Their Q-tip debate always gets me!

Chris and Giggles, the way they didn’t get along always seemed to surprise me. Yes, each can rub someone the wrong way. Giggles usually could rub anyone the wrong way but Chris only seemed to rub the wrong kind of people the wrong way. If he was getting under someone’s skin that was usually a sign they were not the sort of person you wanted to be around. Giggles on the other hand, she was one of my very best friends and I couldn’t really see why the two of them were constantly at each other. Giggles was very head strong and seldom wrong about most facts and calculations. Chris always seemed to pick the morally right side of things. Maybe that was it, morally right and factually right are not always the same thing. Chris was a great moral compass even when he didn’t intend to be.

Chris and I sat on the beach chatting about this and that. What we planned to do with our lives and where we saw ourselves in 5 years. Ok, Chris wasn’t exactly sure where his life was heading but he knew he was going to make a good go at life. On the other hand I knew exactly what I wanted and where I wanted to be. I wanted to be Ronnie’s wife and where ever he was I was going to do everything I could to make his life easier and better. Would I work? Of course, I couldn’t just sit at home all day waiting for Ronnie to get home. I wanted to make some sort of financial contribution. The only thing I needed to figure out was what sort of job would allow me to be home before Ronnie left for work and before he came home. I was completely and totally for making him breakfast and seeing to all his needs before he left in the morning. Pack him lunch or bring him a picnic lunch in the middle of his day if he was not out in the field. I also wanted to have dinner on the table when he came home and even have his slippers and paper for him when he was relaxing after dinner. I wanted to give him massages and take every kink out of his day. I want to look good for him, make a good impression on his superiors and his colleges. To make him look good in front of his superiors and colleges. I would work part time, join all the on post charities I could, work in the Sunday school on post, make delicious baked goods for fundraisers and luncheons. I wanted to be the perfect wife and then after two years of marriage we would have our first baby.

I had it all planned out how my life with Ronnie was going to be. After explaining every detail to Chris I was so excited I could hardly wait for it to all start! Chris was not so thrilled “Come on, you can do much better than being a housewife.” How did he not see that what I was planning for my future took a great deal of brains and finesse? Chris thought I should have a wonderful career that included a large corner office with huge windows covering two walls of that office, over looking some grand city. Maybe before my biological clock stopped ticking I would have one child, a pet cat or some tropical fish. How could our views of my future be so completely different?

In the next post...maybe some sex, pillow fights and more travling.

All Fired Up After Prom

2008-09-03T20:41:00.000-07:00

We left off with the end of the Prom…

We Angles hugged each other and went our separate ways. No one wanted to go to the overlook since they were sure I would cry. Ronnie and I went to the overlook often when he was home. The rest of the Angels were dropped off at their homes via the limo. I drove Chris to Giggles’ house where we were going to change in to regular clothes for the drive to Ocean City.

Giggles rushed out to my car when I drove up. Change of plans, Giggles’ parents were home and awake. They did not know boys were coming with us to Ocean City. Giggles told her parents the same lie I told mine “It’s just going to be us Angels.” Even though there was a separate room for the boys our parents would not have allowed us to go. How would they have stopped us? They own the cars we drove and they paid for the car insurance. She waved towards her house and Dave ran from the shadows up to the rear passenger side door of my car. “Heather, take the guys to the McDonalds on 7th Street. They can change in the bathrooms there.” Chris was agitated to say the least. I calmed him down while Dave climbed in to the back seat. “Giggles! I need to change at my house and grab my bag for OC. In my rush to pick up Chris earlier I forgot it.” She said “Fine! Hurry up though. We need to get on the road. Meet me back here so you can drive home when we get back. We will take my car to pick up the guys at McDees.”

So, off I went to drop the guys off at McDees. I didn’t understand why they couldn’t change at Dave’s condo but who was I to say anything. After dropping off the boys I sped off to my house to change my clothes quicker than I had ever changed in my life! I felt a great need to get to the overlook. Just to be there for a few minutes, looking over the city lights as Ronnie and I had done so many times. Although he couldn’t be with me tonight I needed to feel close to him, be somewhere we would have gone after Prom. Surely it would only take a few extra minutes for this little detour across town.

When I reached my house I ran up the stairs and pulled off my dress before I even reached my bedroom door. I threw the dress on my bed, kicked my heels off in the direction of my closet and pulled on my jeans. While hopping around with one foot slipped into a white Keds sneaker I reached for a random shirt hung up in my closet and grabbed my packed bag. I hopped on the way down the stairs to the front door while trying to slide on the other sneaker. Just as I grabbed the knob of the front door my Mom appeared. “Did you have a nice time? Where are you going now?” “Mom! Oh, Giggles said I better not be late, we are leaving for O.C. to watch the sunrise remember?” I hugged and kissed her and ran out the door before she asked me anything else. As I ran to my car I shouted “Love You Mom! See you Sunday night!”

I threw my bag to the passenger side and sped off on to the highway. I reached the overlook in about 15 minutes. Surely I could get back down the mountain and back to Giggles house before she started to get concerned. Just as I was about to turn off the car I heard a familiar song on the radio, Angel by Madonna. It was then that I remembered something wonderful! Before Ronnie asked me to dance that first night, I was dancing to that song with my friends. Ronnie came up from behind me and whispered in my ear “I think you’re an Angel.” I quickly turned around to see who said this incredibly sweet thing to me and there he was, smiling at me and I knew he meant what he said. My hands went immediately to my cheeks in an attempt to cover the blushing that was overtaking them. I spun back around to face my dancing circle of friends. Then I realized I wasn’t dancing, I was only trying to catch my breath. My friends were each giving me a quizzical look. I shrugged my shoulders and tried to get back in the swing of the dancing. Flic was on my left and defensively asked “What on earth did that guy say to you?!” I waved her off since I couldn’t yet speak. Later at our table I told all of the Angels what he said. Giggles thought it was just a come on but much later realized that Ronnie meant everything he says.

That memory was the warm glow I needed after Prom. I wondered how long I had been sitting in the car thinking about Ronnie and decided I didn’t have time to look at the city lights. I had to get back down the mountain to Giggles house or the drive to O.C. could be a disaster. As I drove down the lone dark road I saw an unfamiliar light ahead. There was a car…ON FIRE! Completely consumed with flames! A fireman about 30 years old motioned for me to stop my car about 12 feet before I reached the burning car. Just as he reached my car window I heard a loud explosion! I covered my face with my hands and screamed!! He reached in, grabbed my wrist and said “Don’t be alarmed miss! That is just the tires blowing out from the heat. They always do that. Nothing we can do until the fire dies down. I asked what happened and he said “You kids and your Proms.” He shook his head and looked down “We are reporting this one as a domestic dispute. Better turn your car off and wait bit.” I didn’t recognize the car or anything but for some reason I started to cry. I asked him “Are the people ok?” He told me they were taken to the hospital but expect them to be out before the night was over. Then I snapped back to reality. What?! Wait a “bit”! He didn’t know Giggles. She will be furious if I don’t get off this mountain like NOW! I explained that I had to get “home” immediately. He saw the panic in my face so he gave me directions to get down the mountain…the back way. “Turn around, take this same road down until you see a church on your left. Turn right and you will be heading towards town.” That sounded simple enough. He forgot to mention that the paved road turns into what seems like a one lane gravel road about halfway down the mountain and I was a good 20 minutes away from the church.

Ok, so there was some drama when I reached Giggles’ house. I told her that my Mom stopped me at the front door and asked questions. This was not exactly a lie as it did happen, it just wasn’t the reason I was late. She was already upset that I was late. I didn’t want to hear how stupid she thought my idea of going to the overlook was. The guys were also upset about the long delay. They voiced their grievances while climbing into the back seat. Yes, this was going to be a “Memorable” trip to the beach! I had three people angry with me for this long road trip in the middle of the night.

Surprisingly, Dave was the first to say “That’s enough. She obviously feels bad about the whole thing. Nothing she could do about. We are on our way now so get over it already.” Chris didn’t say anything, he just slunk back in his seat, folded his arms and shook his head. Giggles on the other hand just couldn’t let it go. She harped on me for the next half hour. I kept my mouth shut thinking if I said anything it would just prolong her anger. Aside from that, it was really my fault and we could have been on our way sooner if I didn’t feel the need to go up to the overlook.

Chris decided there had to be something on the radio to listen to instead of Giggles’ ranting. When he asked her to turn on the radio she pointed to the sign taped over her car radio. “No, the radio doesn’t work! But I will sing to you if you want.” This tickled her! She even laughed for a few minutes! Then she uncovered the boom box in the center of the front seat. Giggles popped in a tape …The Go Gos! Ok, the guys were not thrilled with the selection but they were happy with the fact that Giggles stopped griping about the late start. Giggles and I sang along to the songs and even danced a little in our seats. I was relieved that the fight went out of her. It looked like we were going to have a great weekend after all.

Prom - Be Careful What You Wish For…

2008-08-21T20:12:00.000-07:00

I wanted my senior Prom to be memorable. I got my wish, though it wasn’t what I was hoping for.

I was dressed and ready for Prom! Unfortunately, Chris was already half an hour late picking me up. I called his house but his Mom said he left about half an hour ago. It usually takes about half an hour for Chris to drive into Frederick so I thought I should give him a few minutes. In the mean time Giggles calls my house “Why are you still home?! We need to get going!” I explained the situation and she said in a huff “Well, hurry up and get over here. Don’t waist time taking photos at your house. You can take photos at the Prom.” She called every ten minutes with the same attitude. “Maybe he stood you up. Did you ever think of that?” Actually, I had never been stood up before but “No, Chris wouldn’t do that! He knows this is important to me. He wouldn’t be able to show his face again in Frederick if he did that.” I was starting to wonder what happened to him. Now he was an hour late picking me up. Just as I was about to take my dress off and cry in my room the phone rang. It was Chris! Poor guy, his beautiful car broke down on a deserted part of the highway. He had to walk to the nearest city and call for a ride home. He also had to arrange for a tow truck. Before calling the tow truck he called me knowing I must have been freaking out.

New dilemma. Chris now had no car which meant we needed a vehicle. There was no way I was going to Prom in my car, AKA the Bomb. Why the nick name “Bomb”? It ticked and smoked but hey it got me from point A to point B. I talked to my parents. There was a lot of begging, groveling and maybe promises to put a new roof on the house or something equally impossible for me to do. Finally, Dad gave in and said I could take his Ford LTD. Yeah! It was a nice sedan and far better than my car. Problem was, Chris said he wouldn’t drive my parent’s car. GREAT! Not only did I miss showing up in Chris's fab car, I would also have to Drive to my own Prom. I was the Girl! I was suppose to be driven to the Prom by my Date. Ugh! Wait, we could still ride in the limo with the rest of the Angels.

Ok, I call Giggles to let her know what happened to Chris and that I was on my way to pick him up. She said it would take to long and they were NOT going to wait for us if we were late. “The limo is already here! You have 30 minutes! Hurry up!”

I hung up the phone and ran out the door. I drove as fast I could to Chris’s house. Then I realized, I had only been to his house once before. I got a little lost so I had to stop at a payphone to call him for directions. Yes, there I was outside a busy grocery store, on a pay phone, in my Prom dress. Chris told me “Take a deep breath Heather, you are practically around the corner from my house.” Off I went and finally I arrive at his house.

Before I knocked on the door Chris opened it. I was so relieved to see him. He was all ready to go…almost. “Chris, I am so sorry I was frantic on the phone. I know you are doing Ronnie and me a big favor by coming with me…” He cut me off “Let’s get one thing straight before we go any further. I am not doing this as a favor for Ronnie or anyone else. We are going on a date. You and I. This is a real date. Not like Giggles’ date. A real date. Got it?” I was standing on his front door step with my jaw gaping and in complete shock. Was he kidding me? Was he giving me an ultimatum at the very last second? Oh this was so not happening to me.

We were already late, I needed to hurry things along. I smiled at him sweetly and said “Ok, this is a date. We better move it or we will miss it.” With that we racing down the highway. Chris had never been in a car with me before and this was so not the day to introduce him to my crazy woman driving. He white knuckled it all the way back to Frederick. He might have thrown out a few curse words here and there but he survived.

Yeah! We finally made it to Giggles house! Her Mom explained that they left after I called her the last time. I asked her Mom where the restaurant was located and she gave me some round about directions. “Once you get to 355 you should see it off on the right. It’s a very large building.” When we were back in the car Chris said “Isn’t that typical of your friend Giggles?” I looked over at him and gave him an angry stare “This is so not the time for that.” Half an hour later after driving up and down 355 several times we find the restaurant. There was valet parking but I decided to park the car myself. As valets ran after us behind the car Chris said “I don’t think you are allowed to park the car yourself.” To which I said “With the luck we have had already today I am not chancing a valet scratching up my Dad’s car.”

I parked the car and we walked through the enormous entry way. A very elegant older gentleman asked if he could help us. I told him our reservation was under Giggles last name. “I am sorry madam but that table is already full.” I wasn’t listening to him. I saw Giggles and the rest of the crew at a large table and walked right over. Sure enough the table was full. “Hi, we finally made it. Oh you wouldn’t believe all the things that happened so far tonight.” Then I looked around and there were three people at the table I didn’t know. I looked at Giggles and she said “Well, we thought you wouldn’t make it so we invited the limo drivers and one of the driver’s girlfriends.” “Giggles? You mean that you gave away our dinner reservations? On Prom Night?!" Not looking at all concerned she said “We had to have our full party here in order to be seated.”

Chris could see that I was getting upset so he lead me out of the restaurant. We got into the car and started to cry. Surprisingly, Chris was being very optimistic. “It’s ok. We will have dinner somewhere else. Just the two of us. You don’t really want to go back in there and have dinner with Giggles right now, do you?” I shook my head. “Well, come on. Start the car and we will find a restaurant.” We drove around for awhile but all the fancy restaurants required a reservation. Chris decided it was time to stop driving around “Pull in here.” I didn’t see it at first but there was a little Chinese restaurant on the bottom floor of the large office building we parked in front of.

I had never had Chinese food before. The closest I had was at Dao’s Vietnamese birthday dinner when she was 6 yrs old and I was in 7th grade. As we walked into the restaurant Chris could tell I was a little apprehensive. “Look at it as an adventure. All of your friends are eating the same old things they have always had. Stake and chicken. You, on the other hand, are going to be adventurous tonight.” That cheered me up. While the waitress lead Chris to the table I went to the powder room to fix my make up.

When I entered the dinning room I spotted Chris right away at a table next to the window. It was kind of hard not to miss the only person in the room wearing a tuxedo. As I walked past the other tables towards Chris I heard people whispering and gasping. The more they did this the faster I walked. I kept my eyes focused on Chris. As I approached our table he jumped to attention and held out my chair for me. When we were both seated I leaned over the table and whispered “Everyone is staring at us. Why?” Chris laughed softly and leaned across the tabl towards me “They have never seen anyone as beautiful as you before.” That made me laugh. I had forgotten that I was wearing my Prom gown. Still, everyone staring at us was making me a bit nervous. Chris had a solution. He took the two very large, leather bound menus and placed them at the end of the table creating a sort of privacy divider between us and the rest of the customers. We had to lean in over the table a bit but it was fun. Chris was holding both of my hands in his on top of the table “I promise, your Prom is going to be a great night to remember. We are not going to let any of this silliness of preProm affect the rest of the night, right?” I smiled and agreed. At this point I knew I had made the right choice in choosing him to take me to Prom.

Just then someone cleared their throat. We both looked up and there was the waitress staring down at us from above our menu partition. Chris told her we needed a few more minutes. She giggled and walked away. Now came the difficult part, what to order. Chris tried to explain the different dishes to me but I finally gave up. There were just too many choices so I told him to decide. Giving Chris the power to choose something for me, to be in charge…that had never happened before. He was thoroughly enjoying this.

From the list of things he said to the waitress you would have thought he was feeding a small army. The two things I remember most were the wonton soup and the lobster with shrimp sauce. When our food arrived I was a little skeptical but Chris encouraged me to at least try everything. He was right, nothing ventured nothing gained. This was an adventure after all. I really enjoyed the wonton soup which was part of the first course. The salad surprised me “Chris, the dressing tastes like …like peanut butter!” He laughed, you really haven’t lived have you? Did your parents raise you in a bubble? That must be it, you are related to Bubble Boy.”

When the main course came …lobster tail with shrimp sauce. I kept telling myself, be adventurous, be adventurous. The smell was overwhelming. I had never smelled anything that…awful. I looked over at Chris who was enjoying his lobster. “Come on, you have to at least try it Heather.” I took the tiny piece with the chopsticks Chris rigged up for me with the wrapper then covered my nose. Chris laughed at me. “It’s good. Trust me.” I was doubtful but determined so I took a bite. Oh my gosh! What to do! What to do! I started looking around the table and at Chris and the whole room. I needed a place to spit it out! Right NOW! I stood up and Chris pulled me back down “Look at me. Look at me Heather. Are you allergic to shellfish?” I shook my head, No. He grabbed my napkin and placed it over my mouth. “It’s ok, just spit it out.” I didn’t want to spit it out into the napkin but I had to get it out of my mouth. So, I did.

Chris handed me back my napkin and laughed a little “I can’t believe you just did that. It’s lobster.” “I’m sorry Chris. I don’t know why but I didn’t like it. It had this sort of oil in it.” He looked at me like I was crazy “There is no oil in it.” I am telling you I tasted something like an oil and it felt really weird. He looked at me intensely for a few moments then said “I thought you were a Navy Brat. Doesn’t that mean you grew up on the seashores? You have never had lobster before have you? Didn’t you eat seafood?” I thought about it for a minute then realized I had never had real seafood before. The closest to seafood I ever had was fish and chips. Sadly I said “They don’t allow us bubble people to have seafood.” Chris burst out laughing! At least you have a sense of humor about it. Sad that you cannot eat lobster though. Hand it over, we are not letting this go to waste.” He asked me over an over again if there was anything else I wanted to try instead. The bad taste in my mouth wouldn’t go away no matter how much sprite I drank so I was finished with food for the rest of the night.

While we were waiting for the bill a few couples had come over to our table. They bowed and said “Congratulations.” I giggled. “What do you suppose they are congratulating us for?” Chris said “Either they think we just got married or they were impressed that you did so well with your first lobster.”

The bill came and Chris paid the waitress. Just as I was starting to enjoy myself it started to rain. I didn’t have a coat with me and now I had to make a mad dash for the car. My poor dress, my hair and my make up would all be ruined. Then it was Chris to the rescue again “Give me your keys.” I was surprised since he was so adamant about not driving my parents car. “I will bring it around to the door but you need to drive the rest of the way.” I gave him the keys and waited by the front door. As he pulled up I stepped out under the small awning. He jumped out of the car and said “Stop right there. Don’t move!” He ran over to me, took off his tux jacket and turned it inside out. Then he put it over my head and said “Ok, now you can run.” That was incredibly sweet.

While driving back to Frederick Chris said “I know it’s unpleasant but we need to talk about the Prom. We are still going to O.C. with Giggles so we have to tolerate her tonight. We are not giving up a weekend at the beach which I already paid for.” I agreed. I could never stay really mad at my friends. I could see why Giggles did what she did because that is how she is and we were late. She wasn’t trying to be mean on purpose but I thought she could have been a little understanding when she spoke to me at the restaurant.

The Prom was beautiful! It was held at the Peter Pan Inn in Urbana. There was a large ballroom set up with tables, a dance floor and a live band. Outside of the ballroom were beautiful fountains, statues and gardens with small table sets. When we first arrived I looked for “our table” hoping my friends would still save us seat. Chris said not to worry if they didn’t as we would still have a great time. While I was handing over our tickets at the entrance Kay-Kay and Huggles ran over to us. “We are so, so, so sorry about what happened at the restaurant. Giggles told us that you said you couldn’t make it and you were going to meet us later at the Prom. Are you mad at us?” I looked at Chris then I said “Dinner is over. We had a great adventure of our own and it was nice to have dinner alone. Sorry we missed dinner with you but it’s ok. We still had fun.” Everyone smiled, Chris squeezed my hand signifying I said all the right things. With that we were lead to the table with the rest of the crew. Giggles was standing near the table and rushed over to hug me. “I’m so glad you are here! Isn’t this set up fantastic! Lets dance!” She pulled me out to the dance floor before I could even say hello. We Angels danced until we felt like we would drop from exhaustion. Then came a slow dance. Chris didn’t dance much to the fast songs but he made sure not to miss the slow dances. There was one time I was at the table cooling off and a slow song came on. I didn’t know where Chris had disappeared to but I was sure he didn’t run off and leave. I don’t remember who it was that asked me for that slow dance but I agreed. Just as we were heading for the dance floor Chris came back to the table with two drinks. He looked at me and I shrugged my shoulders.

They always seem to play two slow songs in a row but I only danced the first song with that guy and returned to table where Chris was waiting. I thought he would ask me to dance to the second one but he was sulking. “Well, if you are going to sulk I am going to walk around the gardens outside.” Chris retorted back “I guess you told him to meet you outside.” I coyly said “Chris, why don’t you come with me? You haven’t seen the gardens before.” Even that didn’t work. “No, I will be fine sitting here at the table alone.” If he was going to be like that there was nothing I could do so I went to walk around outside by myself.

While looking at the statues and fountains I thought about what I had just done. I shouldn’t have danced with that other guy. I did have a date. I wasn’t interested in that guy at all. I just thought I was being nice by dancing with him. Had I known Chris would be so upset by it I wouldn’t have agreed to dance with that guy. I thought after a little while he would cool off and things would be back to normal. In the mean time I took pictures of the statues and gardens. I thought of how beautiful the night turned out to be. The clouds disappeared, the stars were out and the moon cast a shadow on the fountains that made them seem like something out of a fantasy.

Just then someone walked up behind me and put their arms around me. It was Chris “You have been out here awhile. I wanted to make sure you were ok.” I leaned back against him and said “I am ok. I am sorry about the slow dance. I didn‘t think you would mind.” Chris rocked me back and forth then said “I do mind. I am your date tonight.” I turned around to face him “I am sorry and it wont happen again.” He smiled and said “I’m not letting you out of my sight again.” Then he tapped my nose lightly with his finger. We both laughed and went back inside.

The Prom was winding down. People started leaving for after Prom parties. The band took another break and let the DJ fill in. That is when the inevitable happened. It was the second slow song…I was already on the dance floor with Chris when it started to play…Crazy For You. At first I jerked away from Chris but he pulled me close. I started to cry. Ronnie wasn’t here. It should have been him dancing with me at my Prom to this song. If he had been my date nothing would have gone wrong all night. Everything would have been absolutely perfect.

Chris realized I was crying so he said over and over again “It’s ok. You are ok.” Then he kissed me. On the dance floor. In front of everyone! I pushed him away and ran outside. I didn’t know where to run to. There was no where to run to. Ronnie wasn’t going to magically appear around the corner. I slunk down into one of the garden chairs and cried my heart out. No matter what is going on in my world, when I hear that song I need to be near him. If I cannot be near him when I hear it then it feels like my heart is being ripped out. Then I realized I wasn’t sad, I was angry. I was angry that I wasn’t in Ronnie’s arms. I was angry that Chris was kissing me when I wanted it to be Ronnie kissing me!

Chris came out after me so did the Angels. Chris knelt down beside me saying how sorry he was and that he didn’t mean to upset me. “You were crying. I didn’t know what to do.” Giggles slapped him across the shoulder “She’s engaged you idiot! She doesn’t want you. She is in love with Ronnie!” I realized that Chris stood up to face Giggles. “Chris, don’t. Can everyone just stop fighting. I freaked out a little but I’ll be ok. Yes, I miss Ronnie. There isn’t anything I can do about it. Chris didn’t make Ronnie go into the Army. He didn’t make Ronnie cancel his leave…” Giggles cut me off “What? Ronnie canceled his leave?!” Oh no, I hadn’t planned on telling anyone that he canceled his leave. I only told them he couldn’t come to Prom.

Prom and the Plans...with a side of Wishful Thinking

2008-08-20T20:57:00.000-07:00

Giggles’ date backed out at the last minute but she came up with a solution, Dave. This guy had graduated from his school a year or so before us and living on his own in a condo close to where Dizzy and Kay-Kay lived. I met him when Giggles took me to his condo where she gave him the money to rent a tux. Dave agreed to go to Prom with Giggles but she was paying for everything, even the dinner and their portion of the limo. Well, when it comes up at the last minute a girl does what she has to do.

Who was I to judge? I didn’t have a “real date” either. Chris was doing Ronnie and I a favor by taking me. I paid for the prom tickets but Chris said he would pay for his tux and dinner. I wanted to go Dutch on dinner but I didn’t press the issue when he insisted on paying for just about everything. He had no control on the prom tickets since he didn’t go to my school. Chris graduated the previous year and apparently didn’t go to his own senior prom.

Giggles and I were planning on going to Prom with guys we were head over heels love with. Due to this we had planned to drive out to Ocean City to watch the sunrise. We even prepaid a weekend at Eve Rock. Now that we were not going with Ronnie and her guy we tried to talk Huggles and Kay-Kay into coming with us instead of inviting our dates. Huggles and Kay-Kay had to work the next day so that idea went out the window. Giggles said it would all work out fine. We will take our dates with us. There were two rooms so the plan was the guys would stay in one room and the girls in the other.

It was Sunday again which meant Ronnie would call tonight. This also meant I had to tell him I was going to O.C. with Giggles, Dave and Chris…for a whole weekend. Would he flip out or would he be ok since Giggles will be there and he knows Chris is a decent guy.

When Ronnie called I was determined to be as chipper as possible. I was still upset that he turned down leave to come home. Nothing I could do about it but make the best of it. “Hi Sweetie! How are you? Is everything going ok over there?” Ronnie was happy to hear my voice, so cheerful. “I’m ok. Everything here is fine. We received off post passes this weekend. Me and some of my buddies went to Munich. It’s really beautiful up there.” Boy, he was pretty chipper himself. Maybe explaining about the weekend in O.C. wouldn’t be as bad as I had expected.

“Heather, I love the pictures you sent. My buddies took pictures of me in Munich so I can send you pictures of what I look like now. I miss you so much. I am looking at a picture of you right now. It’s one of you at Cunningham falls. I really like that bathing suit.” Oh yes, he was definitely in good mood. So I started to talk about Prom “Everyone here is all geared up and ready for Prom this weekend. Chris is going to drive his Austin Healey convertible so we will arrive in style. Giggles and the rest are renting a limo. So what I already paid our part of the limo. We will arrive in his little sports car. Who else will come in that sort of style? She also made reservations at a restaurant all the way out in Rockville. After Prom we are going to O.C. to watch the sunrise.” I sort of lost my enthusiasm thinking he wont be there with me. I sighed “I so wish you were going with us.” Heather, we already went over this.” “I know, I am not mad any more. It just made me think how much I will be missing you.”

Then it hit him, his mood changed from chipper to concern “You are going to watch the sunrise in Ocean City? With who?” “Well, Giggles and I made these plans when we though you and her boyfriend were going to Prom with us. We cannot get our money back for the hotel so we decided to have a weekend in O.C. It’s the same hotel we have booked for senior week so we can check it before hand.” “Heather? Will it be just you and Giggles going to O.C. this weekend?” Short pause. I knew I had to tell him but now I didn’t want to. “Heather? Is Chris going with you and Giggles?” “Yes, Chris will be there too. Don’t worry, Giggles booked two rooms, one for the guys and one for us girls.” This time Ronnie took a moment to pause. “I don’t think this is a good idea. Why do you need to go to O.C. after Prom? You will be there for a whole week very soon.”

Now I was starting to feel guilty. Why? This was my senior Prom and it is suppose to be memorable. The original plan was for Ronnie to go with me to O.C. but that was taken away. Everything else was planned by Giggles, I had no say in most things. I considered myself lucky that I got to even pick out my own dress. “Ronnie, Giggles is going with me and come on, it’s Chris.” After a minute or so Ronnie every so slowly said “I wish you were going with Jim.” Although he couldn’t see me I rolled my eyes. Lots of woulda shoulda coulda and wishful thinking on both ends. In a perfect world Ronnie would be going with me. But I had to put that out of my mind and not say anything about it. Why? Because there was nothing I could do about it.

He finally said “I can’t make this decision for you. I am trusting you to make the right choices and Giggles to make sure nothing happens to you. Sunrise, the beach and you…even Chris is a guy ya know.” I couldn’t help myself. I laughed! Heartily! “Sometimes you say the funniest things! Chris? Really? Now that’s funny!” Ronnie didn’t think so. “Alright, just be careful and don’t get in to trouble. Remember, I love you.” “Ronnie, I love you so much.” Then we talked about Graduation. I already knew he couldn’t come home for it so we didn’t talk much about it. Just more warnings to stay out of trouble, especially in O.C. All I could think about was the fun and running on the beach I could have had with Ronnie. Everything would have been wonderful if he could come with us.

Then I thought it would be a great idea to skip O.C. and spend that week in Germany with him instead. Again, another hopeful wish comes crashing down. I didn’t have a passport and Ronnie would be in the field all that week. Geesh! Nothing was working out the way I wanted. There was one good thing coming up. The next time Ronnie came home I will have already graduated and we could get married! We would finally be together! I could go back to Germany with him! The next time I saw him there would be no more goodbyes. Now that was definitely something to look forward to! That made for some very sweet dreams for me that night.

Earring Eatter …Friends With The Best Intentions

2008-08-18T15:55:00.000-07:00

Ok my friends did try to cheer me up but lets face it we were teenage girls. I already found the love of my life but my friends were still searching. Some you might say were “on the hunt.” One friend in particular was very boy crazy. I agreed to hang out with her a few nights a week, just the two of us. Hanging out meant driving around the circuit through downtown and stopping in at McDonalds on one end and the FSK Mall Fun Factory on the other end. And yes, you were expected to dress up for this. You had to look “hot”. I settled for comfortable and cute. When Giggles came by to pick me up her whole face went sour as she said “Is THAT what you’re wearing?” Sure, I’m not out to impress anyone. Ok, I agreed to at least put on some make up and earrings so she wouldn’t be embarrassed by my not so “hot” attire.

One night while we were cruising around town Giggles saw a guy she had met before. She pulled over and the guys, yes I said guys, decided to join us in her car. Giggles drove around to some deserted train tracks between the mall and Urbana. The guy Giggles liked sat up front with her which left his buddy and me in the back seat. Giggles and the front seat guy were steaming up the windows and I was really getting uncomfortable so I decided it was time to get out of the car. They were just making out but still, I thought they needed some privacy. The back seat guy also got out of the car. He tried making some small talk which I didn’t mind just talking with him while we killed time waiting for our friends to come up for air. Then he GRABBED ME! He PUSHED me up against the car and... started kissing me! He was at least 6 feet tall and a few years older than me. I couldn’t get his face off of me! I even kicked him in the legs a few times but he wouldn’t let me go! He even slobbered all over my ears! I was completely grossed out! I screamed!

Giggles threw open the front passenger door and demanded to know what was going on! I was wiping the drool off of my ears when I realized something. “He…He ATE my earring! He.. He! He’s Gross!” From then on he was known as the Earring Eater. Giggles laughed! “He ate your earring?!” He called me a big baby and said “When you grow up maybe you can handle a man.” With that Giggles knew it was time to head home. Well, time to drop me off at home so she and Mr. Front Seat guy could have some time alone without the “the fussy children.” I didn’t want to get back in the car with him next to me but Giggles rolled her eyes and said it would only be for a few minutes.

We were in the car only a few minutes when the Earring Eater was all over me again! This guy was slobbering all over me AGAIN and all the elbows to the chest were not stopping him. I was so mad I could have spit nails! Giggles was obviously angry but instead of helping me she angrily smacked her rear view mirror so she wouldn’t see what was happening. Later she said it was my fault. My fault?! “You’re engaged! You should know better!” What happened to being my friend? Help was obviously required. If I had any one of my guy pals with me…well, that guy would have had to crawl back to town.

Yes, I should have know better. This was not the first time she wanted to meet a guy but didn’t want to go alone. She would bring me along and surprise me with this “chance meeting.” The guy would just happen to bring one or two of his friends. Sure, sometimes they hit on me but I quickly put an end to it by explaining that I was engaged. Usually it wasn’t long before the ‘friend’ was trying to get Giggles’ guy to take him home.

This last time with the Earring Eater, things just went too far. He didn’t care that I was engaged. My friend was boy crazy and I was guilty by association only. Sure, guys sees two girls together and figure they must both act the same way. I decided it was best NOT to go anywhere with Giggles. Instead I went out with my other friends. Eventually, she caught on that we were going out without her quite often. She passed me a note in school asking why we were not including her. I wrote her a note back saying that I didn’t think it was a good idea since she pushes me into awkward situations. She didn’t like my note at all. (curse words have been bleeped ** out)

Heather,
Look, I’m sorry okay, but you have your facts all wrong. I do not “push” you into situations. The only time I know of is with Doug and Brian’s friend. I’m sorry about that. But flirting with all those guys is not wrong. You were exactly like me before you met Ronnie. You & I both know that your forever with Ronnie. It’s just lately I’ve been feeling left out. The last three times you, Kay-Kay and Dizzy-D went out, I was sitting home. You never bothered to call to see if I wanted to go. I know that flirting with Mike or whoever is not going to hurt because I know you love Ronnie and you want to just meet guys on friendly terms. I’m sorry if you think I was pushing you into anything, I didn’t do it intentionally. I feel so insecure right now. I’m hoping that one of the guys I meet by flirting will turn out to be as nice as Ronnie is to you. Do you understand what I’m trying to get at? You are one of my best friends. Someone I can cry with, laugh with and fight with. Give me another chance. I guess I won’t try as hard to impress anyone. I know your mad at me now, it seems like I always f**k up someway, but try to see it my way. Be open-minded. Love ya Always,
Giggles
P.S. Friends again? write back

Hi Cuddles,
How are you? I’m pretty good. So what have you been doing? Sounds like you guys had fun last night. I don’t think I’m going on Sunday. First, you’ll have a loaded car, second, Jim’s working, 3rd - I don’t have any money to spend and since I’m going to Players Sunday night, I should do my homework that I’m 3 weeks behind in. I hope you don’t mind, but I really think I should do my homework. I’m starting to worry about my grades. Do you know if Rhonda’s here today? No one has seen her oh, remember that pass you gave me, well, I got snagged for hooking 4th pd Thursday. S**t, now I’ll probably get an 1 hr detention. That freaking sucks. So whats on your agenda for tonight? I get off at 7:00. Do you want to do something? Well, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see ya 3rd.
Love lots,
Giggles

Yes, she was very boy crazy and sometimes it lead to undesired results for herself as well. I think she finally learned that putting out on the first or second date was not how to keep a guy. She thought, like many girls that if a couple does this then they are both saying they are in love. So not true about most teenage boys. Before anyone passes judgment on one of my best friends, think about it. There are a great many girls, even today who think this way. Giggles did learn this valuable lesson but wished she had learned it long before she wrote the following note.

Dear Cuddles,
I was so upset last night. I feel like a slut. There’s no excuse for what he did to me and I’ll never forgive him. Thought we’d really have something going but maybe it’s just as well that we didn’t. This is it. I’ve been stepped on all my life and I’m freaken tired of it. I’m not letting the guys get the best of me anymore - In a matter of speaking! (Ha! Ha!) I’m not getting serious with anyone. Not Duane, Kyle or even Troy. I’m so sick of it! Your so lucky you have Ron. I know he’d never do anything to hurt you. Please do me a favor. Call up Randy tonight [phone number deleted] about 10:00 and say I hope your satisfied. You’ve got Mary really upset. I think you should call her. Oh please! B***h him out and make him feel about 2 inches. Don’t let him know I asked you to do that. Please!
Love ya,
Giggles
P.S. Please! Do it for me!

As it is the way with best friends all was forgiven. We were back to hanging out together, with the rest of the Angels. Giggles was right we could disagree and even fight with each other but that didn’t mean we were no longer friends. We always seemed to work out our differences and the gang was all back together.

My Guy Pal Chris

2008-08-15T19:01:00.000-07:00

I met Chris at Players at the begining of my Junior year in high school, long before meeting Ronnie. I liked Chris because he always seemed so confident and set on what was right and what wasn’t. We never really went out on a date but there was a time we thought about dating. That lasted all of five minutes. Chris wasn’t breaking any of my rules. He was older than I, he didn’t go to my school, wasn’t friends of my brothers, and we didn’t go to the same church. We didn’t even live in the same county. We liked each other but in a different way than anyone I had ever considered dating. It was sort of odd. We would dance together to fast and slow songs. He was definitely fun to be around. But something just wasn’t right, for dating that is. No matter what we were doing I never felt like I wanted to kiss him and he seemed to feel the same way. We were totally PG towards each other.

I did go to his house once. We talked for a little while and he told me exactly how silly of a little girl I was. At one point we ended up on his parents living room floor in a tickle fight. I told him to stop since tickle fights usually end badly. I cannot control my muscles when I am being tickled! They move involuntary. Chris got a black eye. He complained to his mom and she said “Well, you should have been talking nicely on the couch instead of trying to tickle her to death.” She turned and smiled at me. I had to laugh! She was on my side. When she left the room he looked over at me with a pack of frozen peas over his eye. I stuck my tongue out at him and giggled “Told ya so. You were warned.”

We were never a boyfriend/girlfriend match. More like rivalry relatives. We played devils advocate with each other all the time. It was FUN! We always laughed when one of us had made our point, no matter which one it was or how ridiculous the “winning" point was.

When I told Chris that Ronnie and I were engaged he actually laughed. He really thought I was kidding. Chris thinking it was a joke actually made tears well up in my eyes. He then knew I wasn’t kidding. Solemnly, he said “Is there anyway you can get out of it without hurting him too much?” I looked down at the ground and shook my head. I didn’t want to get out of it. I was happy to be Ronnie’s fiancé. I knew I wanted to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. How could Chris be like this when it was so important and real? I was very disappointed in Chris’s reaction. Did I expect him to be thrilled? No. I just didn’t expect him to go right to breaking it off immediately.

I at least expected a little tiny bit of encouragement from Chris. He thought Ronnie was a great guy and actually had a good effect on me. Then he said “We are all so young. You don’t know what you are giving up. How can you settle on getting married now? There is so much you need to do before you decide to get married, to anyone.” Chris knew I was hurting from his reaction due to the silent tears that were starting to fall down my cheeks. He took a deep breath then hugged me. “Well, if it’s what you want… Ok, you always want your way.” I had buried my teary face against his chest but he held my chin and pushed it up so he could see my face. Looking down at me and half laughing he said “What am I going to do with you? You are such a brat, use to getting your way. Ronnie is a great guy. He is lucky to have you.” I smiled and hugged him back.

How Was Your First Kiss?

2008-08-11T16:29:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! There is a kissing contest going on!

To see the rules and such see Scribbit.

My post for First Kiss is from…you guessed it the “Crazy For You Post Transitions.”

******

After that night at Players Ronnie deiced to ask me out on a date. Not meeting up somewhere, or running into each other. An actual date where he would pick me up, take me out and then bring me home. I was excited and a little nervous. I didn’t really know this guy and he was going to take me “somewhere?”

During our first few dates, well several of our first dates I was a little unsure about going out with someone I barely knew but I really liked him. To make myself feel more at ease I recruited a chaperone, Giggles. She was more than happy to come along. She loved being included. She let us hold hands and such but kept Ronnie in check. Ok, she kept us both in check and made sure everything was PG rated. She even sat between us in the car. As she said later “You would have so freaked out if it wasn’t.” She was right.

That first night when Ronnie came to pick me up I don’t think he realized that he had to meet my parents before they would allow me to leave with him. My Mom laughed but there was real meaning in her words “Do you think we could let a stranger drive off with our little girl?” He survived. It wasn’t really all that bad considering what other guys had sat through before. My parents liked him right away but they wanted to put a little bit of fear in him.

As I walked up to the passenger side of Ronnie’s car quickly steered me to the Driver’s side. As he opened the door he explaining that his passenger door doesn’t shut right so he doesn’t open it. His car had a front bench seat so it was manageable for me to just slide over. Ronnie quickly got in the car and apologized over and over about the passenger door. He slid in so fast I thought he did this on purpose since I had not reached the other side of the seat yet. Maybe he did it so I would be sitting closer to him. Later on I found out he was telling the truth about the passenger door and admitted that he slid in before I could go any further so I would be closer to him. The engine had real power to it which meant I had to hold on to his arm so I wouldn’t slid around on the seat! We were off to pick up Giggles’ at her house.

At the end of each night, Ronnie always dropped Giggles off first then took me straight home. I don’t know if it was Giggles’ influence and constant warning of “If you hurt her we will hunt you down” or he just had some gentlemanly inclinations but after nearly two weeks of dating every night he still hadn’t kiss me. I was starting to get a complex. Ok, I have told guys before they were not going to kiss me on the first few dates but this was more than two weeks of seeing him every night. Maybe he didn’t want to kiss me?! I confided in my girl friends. “What? He hasn’t even kissed you yet? Like ever? What’s up with that?” or “Oh honey, maybe there is something wrong with him. He seems really nice though.” “Maybe he’s just shy.” What ever the reason was I still wanted to go out with him. We always had a great time and he made me feel wonderful and special even without kissing me. He made my heart pitter patter. All he had to do was look at me and I would smile, giggle a little then feel my cheeks growing pink. I was definitely smitten.

One night while standing at my front door I was expecting a hug but he placed his left hand on the side of my face, I smiled up at him knowing I had a wonderful time just being with him. He, ever so slowly ran his fingers down my neck. My head tilted up unconsciously and just as I was about to giggle from the tickling effect of his gentle fingers, he kissed me. He said something in a sort of whisper but I couldn’t make out what it was. My knees went completely weak and I slunk into his arms. I think I whispered “Oh my” and “W-o-w” It was all I could manage to say. I couldn’t even stand up on my own two feet. I looked up dreamily into his eyes and saw he was completely at ease. He finally propped me up on my own legs and I sort of swayed to and fro for a minute before I some what regained my composure. I remember running my fingers through my hair and saying something like “Um, uh, yeah, I think I should be going now.” I almost walked right in to my Mother’s flower bed instead of the door. He quickly redirected me to the doorway and I said “Um, ok. Well, then. I will see you later.” or something like that. I closed the front door behind me and leaned against it while smiling and taking deep breaths. “Wow.”

One month passed by, Ronnie and I saw each other as much as was humanly possible. If we weren’t together we were at school, work or sleeping. We called each other every single day. We talked so long that my mother started placing a kitchen timer by the phone “Fifteen minutes young lady.” It didn’t take her long to realize I was pushing the timer back a few times. My siblings and even my Dad were trying to talk Mom into getting me my own “Ronnie line” (aka my own phone line).

After many dates with our chaperone Ronnie said “I like Giggles and all but don’t you think we have reached a point where her duties might not be so necessary? Come on, don’t you trust me?” Giggles later asked me where we three were heading that night? I had to break the news to her. Ronnie and I were going to start going out on dates …alone. She was bummed but understood.

Ronnie's Car was a Plymouth Duster.

*************

Update outside of the Crazy For You fest…guess what? I was so nostalgic I decided I had to see the Angles again. What started out as a small get together…well, lets just say one friend told two friends and they told two friends….

It has only been two weeks and the list went from 5 people to 30! I even had a few phone calls! It has turned into more of a high school reunion than a small get together. The party is in a few months so who knows how many people will be coming. The more the merrier right?

There was one email I thought odd. There was this guy in high school who always scared me. He growled at me in the hallways and always made me jump. Turns out he is a pretty sweet guy. Apparently after high school he was good friends with all the other Angels and I had NO idea!

I am really happy with the list of people coming. If more show up that is great too. We are going to have such a blast!

Prom ...Stag or Date?

2008-08-10T21:15:00.000-07:00

When Ronnie called to say he declined his leave…Deep breaths! Deep, Deep Breaths! I wasn’t suppose to upset him in anyway because he was so far away. I had to keep my chin up and suck up what I was feeling. I am sure he felt enough from the periods of silence to know I was not happy about it. Ronnie knew when it came down to it I would always follow his lead. What he says goes. He was the boss and it always made sense latter but boy did I want my way.

“Heather, I know Prom is coming up. Call Jim, I am sure he will take you.” I know he wanted me to think of something in the near future to look forward to but that was so not what I wanted to hear. I wanted Ronnie to take me to Prom! In my mind I was thinking - sure, my fiancé who said he was going to take me decided it wasn’t worth coming home for. No guy in my high school would ask me to Prom since I have been telling everyone for a whole year that I have a fiancé and how much we love each other. Thank goodness we have Jim on call for any dating situation that would require my fiancé!

Oh well, at least Ronnie wasn’t depressed any more and once again he was right. If he came home in April for one week I would be so close to graduating that it would be insane to leave school now. We couldn’t get married in one week. It would take more than a week to talk our parents into it. If he came home and we didn’t get married there was the issue of having to say goodbye, again. I didn’t know if I could go through it again. If he came home I would want to leave with him no matter what. So I sucked it up and dealt with the great disappointment.

With that settled I eventually call Jim but guess what? “Heather, I would love to take you but I have already agreed to go to four other proms and I’m not even in high school any more.” I could have begged him or Ronnie could have called him but that was degrading. I could have told the high school Gossip that I didn’t have a date for the prom and I was mad at my fiancé. Had I gone that route I would have had a date from my high school that very same day. No, not sounding conceded. Just a fact that one of my rules was about to be broken would set off the hope of all my rules being broken. All through high school, rules or no rules, there were guys who never gave up asking. Still, I couldn’t go to prom with someone from my school. I was upset with Ronnie but I felt the need to keep my rules for my own reasons. The rules were in place before I met Ronnie and they were there for good reason.

The next Sunday Ronnie called and I explained that Jim was busy that night and every night that month doing prom duty. “We thought you would be here so he didn’t keep the date open. We didn’t think he had to.” Ok I was getting a pissy but I toned it down after he apologized a few times. I figured he knew best and I would have to figure this out. Yes, it was my Senior Prom and I might have to go stag. I wasn’t worried about showing up and people thinking I couldn’t get a date. I was worried about going with my friends and being the odd one out. When slow songs came on I would be standing by the punch bowl or worse hiding out in the bathroom away from guys who came with dates. Again, not being conceded, my guy pals would have been there with dates and no one at the table when I knew there were guys from our school who wanted to go out with me…seeing me alone at my own prom. I would have looked like a sitting duck. That was a bit much for me to think of. Ok, maybe I was being conceded. Surely none of my guy pals would have been the type to leave their dates to dance with me. That would have been a huge dent in their shinny armor in my eyes.

That night at Players everyone was talking about the up coming Prom. The Angels were all chattering about their dresses, dates and possible dates for those who had not made definite plans yet. I already purchased the perfect dress at Lerner a few months ago and it was absolutely perfect for the theme - Night In The Old South. My mother had altered it to fit me already. The only thing I needed was a hoop skirt to go underneath it. Giggles was working at a store at the FSK mall where they still had a few small enough for me.

I mentioned that I might not go since Ronnie wasn’t coming home. Now all my Guy Pals knew I needed a date for Prom or I would have to go stag. Again, going stage was not a real problem but I didn’t want to feel like a burden to anyone. It was my Senior Prom and I should feel like a princess. So there I was at Players with Guy Pals who were not from my school and not friends with my brothers. Even Todd was somewhat considered a Guy Pal but not fully. There was something about Todd that wasn’t exactly genuine when he promised to be good. He did behave himself and it was sort of nice to have a completion weight lifter and body builder on my side when guys got out of hand at Players. After Ronnie left for Germany Todd started to come to Players on a regular basis. I wouldn’t dance with him. I still didn’t trust him that much. He offered to take me to Prom and even the Angels said I should consider it but still, I didn’t trust him enough. If I went to Prom with Todd, Ronnie would have gone into a rage.

Ray-Ray offered to take me but his armor was starting to slip. Yes, I cried a lot and complained a lot about Ronnie being away in Germany but I wasn’t about to go there. Ray-Ray seemed to be waiting for the other shoe to drop and maybe I would break off our engagement. I didn’t need that in a Prom date.

Patrick even jokingly said “I would take you to Prom but it is beneath me to take an upper classman to Prom.” Back in 10th grade when I first met Patrick he asked me, in a back door fashion, if I would ever consider dating an underclassman. I laughed loudly and said I couldn’t because I was near the bottom of the high school food chain as it was. I didn’t realize he was actually asking if I would ever consider going out with him until he was walking away. Nicky came up to me and explained that Patrick had been working up the courage to ask me out. I felt so bad. A few weeks later he was happy with us just being friends. He had a date with a really cute girl. I loved it when Patrick talked to me about his dates and who he liked in between girlfriends.

Back to My Senior Prom. I finally came to the conclusion that Chris would be the best choice. Ronnie and I both trusted Chris. He was so nice and in control of himself. Any time Chris danced with me at Players I never had to worry about him behaving badly. He always kept his hands and eyes where even a Priest would approve. There was one draw back with Chris. He had this way of coming up with the most profound thoughts. You never saw it coming, he would just say what he thought and exactly what his thoughts were. He was open honesty on steroids. He and Giggles had one thing in common, they were both quick to bring in reality when you were hoping for the best. Giggles and Chris were too much alike so they crashed like huge marching band cymbals! Oh how I wish I had a tape recorder when the two of them had enough of each other and went on for 15 minutes or so. No political debate to date could top their exchange of words once they got in to it. To listen to them argue the point of what q-tips were actually made of was completely hysterical!

Next step was to ask Ronnie if it was ok for Chris to take me to Prom. I dreaded it but at the same time I felt Ronnie owed me a date for Prom since he was passing on my Prom. Still, I didn’t want to ask him. I didn’t want to even mention it when we were on the phone. He asked me about Prom… “Who all is going to Prom?” “All the Angels are going. Oh, my dress is finished. Mom fixed it up perfect. I need to get a hoop and find gloves small enough for my arms.” “What? Small enough for your arms?” I was a bit embarrassed but I replied “My dress has 1 inch straps. It even has a cute ruffle across the front but nothing on my arms. You know how I feel about my arms. I need long gloves that fit and go past my elbow.” Ronnie laughed and said “Your arms are perfect. I wish I could have them around me.” That made me feel warm all over. I was thinking of my arms around him and him holding me. Then he burst my warm fuzzy feeling with “Who are you going to Prom with?” Huh? Did he know about the discussions at Players? Oh how I hoped he didn’t! I didn’t want him to worry. Then I started to think Giggles must have told him. Before I could muster up how upset I was with Giggles, Ronnie said “Someone has to take you. You... you cannot go stag to your Senior Prom.” Wow, he actually understood. Apparently, he had a little chat with his Mom and she said how unfair it was to ask me to go stag or even skip my prom. He was so relieved that Chris was my choice and readily agreed.

This hurdle was cleared. There was another one but I chickened out of telling him. It would have to wait until the next phone call. Maybe right before Prom. First, I had to come up with a way to tell him gently so he wouldn’t blow a fuse.

My Soldier's Spirits Lifted

2008-08-09T20:59:00.000-07:00

Phone calls from Ronnie remained the same until he started to receive packages of home items and actual letters from us. He started to cheer up a bit but was doubtful about coming home any time soon. When he arrived in Germany he did talk to someone in command who was worried about his performance or lack of enthusiasm. Ronnie wasn’t slacking off or anything but he was not giving it his all and it was noticed. After their little chat he advised Ronnie to put in for leave. It was explained that it was a first come first serve basis and those who had served more time in Germany were given preference. Ronnie seemed really happy about filling out his paperwork for leave. Finally! He had something to look forward to!

Back here in the states I was still going to school and Players, when I felt up to it. I tried to go to Players as much as I could. There was something about being there, where I met Ronnie and hearing the songs we danced to. I had my friends with me to keep my spirits up. Some nights I just didn’t want to go. I wanted to go to bed as soon as possible. The more I slept the less I was awake which to me meant less time awake thinking about Ronnie. If I dreamed too much about Ronnie then I knew I had to get out and about.

As the weather warmed up more parties were happening. I wanted to go to the parties since there was alcohol. If I drank an hour or so before going to bed I slept better. No dreaming. Of course I was young and didn’t know when to say when so I tested my limits and eventually I was worrying about both Ronnie and had to deal with hangovers.

I was grouchy all the time. My work was sloppier than it had ever been and I cared very little about anything. There was one party were I was pretty smashed. I remember Rick (aka Alter boy) was trying to kiss me and actually chased me all around the house and outside. I fell, he picked me up then tried one more time to kiss me. I had had it with him so I punched him! Right on the jaw! I had never punched anyone before in my life. He hit the outside wall of the house and slid down to the ground. “What did you do THAT for?” Staring down at him I said “I don’t want to be kissed by anyone! GOT IT?!” Then I went back inside and to tell my ride it was time to go home.

The Angels decided something had to be done about my partying. Sure they were at the same parties I was, they usually drove me but sometimes I would stay longer…and longer and catch a ride with one of the older girls. The one thing they said that snapped me out of it “If you don’t get your act together now you wont graduate this year.” At first I thought, who cares? Ronnie is in Germany. Then they said “The sooner you graduate the sooner you two can get married and actually be together.” That did it. Now my concentration was on graduating and getting to Ronnie ASAP! Sure, I went to parties but I didn’t say without the Angels. We went, mingled a little, had a few drinks then went home.

Prom was coming and Ronnie’s phone calls were so much more chipper. Then he dropped a bit of bomb on me. His leave was approved but it was only for one week not two. He declined the leave and asked to wait until he had a few more weeks. WHAT?! A week at home and he said No?! He was now calling overseas, not just long distance so I couldn’t just hang up on him but I wanted to! Three months of depression for the both of us and five months since we had seen each other and he says No?!

Loosing Touch and Loosing It

2008-08-07T23:38:00.000-07:00

Since I did not hear from Ronnie for a week after the phone call about his orders I called his recruiter, Sergeant Powell. Before his orders for Germany came in he was expecting to come home for Recruiter Aide duty. He knew where he wanted to buy a townhouse and had so many things planned out. He really didn’t think he would go to Germany. After all he didn’t receive orders for Germany when his roommates did.

Apparently, Ronnie’s orders were delayed while the recruiter and commander fought over where Ronnie would best serve. It was finally decided that the need in Germany was greater than the need for recruiters in our area. Shortly after Ronnie was deployed to Germany Sergeant Powell left the recruiters office. Not only did I loose Ronnie but the only local military personnel with some sort of link between us.

There was a replacement for Sergeant Powell and he didn’t like me coming into the office at all. This particular recruiter’s office was not just for the Army but all branches of the service. Some of the other military recruiters in the office told the “new guy” that I was a regular visitor and a civilian which meant I should be shown some respect. To the “new guy” I was just wasting their time. Needless to say I stopped going into their office. Once in a while I would see the Marine recruiter outside the mall on my way in or out of work. He always asked about Ronnie and how we were handling things. He told me to keep my chin up, gave advise and always a smile. Even that little bit of support went a long way in my book. Eventually he too was transferred somewhere else.

After Sergeant Powell and the Marine were transferred and I hadn’t heard from Ronnie, I lost it. One night I called the number we had for the A School and asked for the number for the commander. I actually called and left the commander a very angry, crying, screaming and somewhat threatening message. The threatening part was to call his superiors all the way up to the President and tell them to fire him or at least bust him down to private. This falls under the definition of fully distraught and delusional. At the time you could actually call the operator (by dialing "0" not 411) and get a number to the White House (if you knew which department to ask for). Of course it wasn't the President but they sounded very official when they answered the phone (no voice mail) during my late night phone call. The commander did not just laugh this off. He called me back the next day and in full drill sergeant manner told me off.

I did finally hear from Ronnie. There are many rules in the military. One is that if you do not hear from your soldier someone will make sure they contact the family or the base will do it for them while they are facing some sort of punishment. After feeling like a complete fool for calling his previous commander and the White House I found out it did some good. Ronnie was willing to forgo the punishment but he wanted to call me instead of his parents. His new commander agreed after Ronnie assured him that his Mom and I always talked after he called. (I would never recommend doing what I did. I wish someone would have been willing to tell me what the rules were and how to contact the right people. I would have let Ronnie's parents make the right calls to the right people but after Sgt. Powell was gone we lost any links as to what to do.)

He was physically ok but he was a bit depressed. We had everything figured out and then the rug was pulled out from under us. I was raised as a military brat and I sort of expected some things to not go as planned but I was still taken aback by it all. I was all sunshine and happiness on the phone but nothing seemed to be getting through to lift his spirits. I remember he told me about the protestors “They come out by the fences dressed in black hooded cloaks with their faces painted like skulls. Someone yells bomb then they all fall down. It makes you feel sorry for them the first few times you see it. We have to take classes to deal with this too. The times there are no protestors it’s hours of marching around watching worms crawl out of the ground. Heather, that’s all I do now.”

I told him over and over again how much I loved him and even asked if he still had the photo from the Cozy. Now, I was very hesitant to send that photo out through the mail when he was in A School. I wrapped it up in paper and in a separate envelope. I even made him promise never to show it to another living soul. For me to mention that photo was a huge deal. Ronnie only said “Yeah, I brought it with me.” He was so down and there was nothing I could do to help him. I was completely helpless! I hated that feeling! I asked him if there was anything he needed and he sadly muttered “just you.” I blushed a bit and said “Well, you already have me. Forever even. Remember Germany isn’t forever.” Solemnly, He gave me the APO address to send mail and a list of things to tell his Mom not to send since they were not allowed. When we got off the phone I felt like someone had just given me a sedative. Like the phone call didn’t really happen. It was just a dull dream and soon Ronnie would really call.

I called Ronnie’s Mom and told her about the phone call. We were both worried about him. His Dad said not to worry. Ronnie would be fine. He needed time to adjust. His Mom and I both cried. Why was the Army making him like this. This wasn’t how he was.

I Remember the Anthrax Investigation

2008-08-05T18:49:00.001-07:00

Most of the US remembers the Anthrax Investigation and the effects it had.

In regards to unconventional punctuation please see Whiskey Marie

With all the new news on the Anthrax Investigation I have to say I remember it. At first I was trying to think of the lighter side like (**) I wonder if they found Ronnie's ring up near that pond where they found the 'containment box'. Then I started to wonder if that guy was up there testing and performing his experiments while all of us were up there. (**) I mean, it wasn't just kids from my high school who went up there but all the local high schools hung out on that mountain. That freaked me out>! I am sure it also upset more than just me(>)! How long did this go on? When did it start and when exactly did it end? That information was not available.

I was in Frederick at the time of the onset of the investigation. I had worked for a few government employers previously and still kept in touch with past co-workers. It was always (**) what's the word I am looking for? Not fear but concern. No one thought they would be a target but you wondered if you would accidentally be infected. My goodness, you couldn't even bring in powdered donuts to ANY office without someone wondering what that white powder was on someone's desk or anywhere in the office(<)! Come to think of it I haven't even seen a white powdered donut since then (<)! Even my own children (eldest two) who were in Elementary school at the time don't eat powdered donuts. Most likely that has nothing to do with the anthrax investigation. The fact is my children love chocolate(>)!

What do I remember about the investigation? I remember going into Ft. Detrick was more difficult. Even though I had military stickers on my car, I had to stop at the gate, fill out a form and let them see my driver's license & registration. I really missed the days that the guards would see my car, salute at me then I went on my merry way to the PX, Commissary, pool, ball field or where ever. (<<<)

I also remember seeing the moving vans & black SUVs parked outside the apartment of on of the scientists as they raided the place. I had no idea he lived just outside of the gates. Talk about minimal commute to work, huh? Literally, it was just outside the gates. Even after they raided & took everything they thought was important out of the apartment the black SUVs staid in that parking lot for weeks. I do not remember which scientist it was but I do remember seeing him on TV and a few times outside of his apartment (from my car on the road waiting in line to get on the base). He seemed genuinely upset about the intrusion. On TV he was upset but when I saw him in front of his apartment while they carried various items out of his house he seemed (**) his body language and his voice made it seem like he was standing & holding his tounge as if to say (**) I know you have to do this but it is a mistake(**). You will eventually know this.(**)

His neighbors were camped out on lawn chairs watching the whole thing. Of course there were news teams there but not as many as you would have expected. Maybe two or three vans. I didn't know wether to feel sorry for him or upset with him. From what I remembered what we heard on the TV there was a scientist who was responsible for sending out samples of anthrax to any college or student that asked for it. Maybe it was him, maybe it was one of the other scientists. Seeing those black SUVs parked there for so long did give me chills each time I passed by & saw them.

Well, I would like to say this. If you found Ronnie's class ring let me know! I promise I had nothing to do with the anthrax thing (**) It was a high school girls letting off steam & vomit kind of thing. If you found it, I would really like to have that class ring back(>)!

P.S. I am not trying to make light of the what happened to all those affected by the Anthrax scare. I was affected but I choose to not look at the (I have no words for that) part of it. It was difficult enough for all of us here in the US (**) Americans and others(**) and overseas when 911 happened, the Anthrax and the after effects. I also remember how everyone in the US and several other countries did rally afterwards.

Ask Me Anything

2008-08-05T10:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, judging from the activity in my blog over the past couple of days a few of you are searching for something. I sincerely appreciate the activity and that you find my blog interesting. Here is my email address (TreesNSnow@yahoo.com)…go ahead. Ask me anything. Well, just don’t ask me the diameter of the sun. I use to know it but that little tidbit of information has slipped away from me. You can Google to get that answer.

If you don't want to email you can always post your questions in the comments area.

Hope your day is going well. I look forward to hearing from all of you.

When Millitary Orders Come...

2008-08-04T19:46:00.001-07:00

My parents and I went back and forth on my trip to visit Ronnie for his graduation from A School. Why couldn’t they understand how important it was for me to be there for Ronnie? How much I wanted to see his graduation and be there for him? “We are not letting you drive half way across the country. You are too young. There are too many things that could go wrong and Murphy’s Law seems to follow you around lately.” I ran out of gas on my way to work. An older girl, for some reason, was super jealous of me so she let the air out of two of my tires, threw ice on my windshield, took my wiper blades and I cannot remember what else. When I had my tires rotated they forgot to reconnect something with the breaks…I drove to work with NO breaks! Some how I managed to break a piston too. They also reminded me that the last time Ronnie came back the Army flew him home so I would likely beat me home. Add to that the time it takes to drive to Oklahoma and the fact they wouldn’t let me take off school that Friday and following Monday. So, I couldn’t go to his graduation. I was back to being in a bad funk. Ronnie was disappointed but he backed up my parents. Although he really wanted to see me he didn’t want to worry about me driving so far and missing school.

After Ronnie’s graduation I received a phone call from the base brought me to my knees.

I came home from work that night and my Mom said Mrs. Leadore wanted me to call her as soon as I came home. Oh how I hated missing phone calls from Ronnie. I guess he called her and she has heard some news from him. I called her back and she seemed a little weepy but that was sort of usual for both of us after we heard from Ronnie. We missed him so much. Right away she asked “Did Ronnie call you today?” “I just came home from work. I don’t know if he called. Mom only said that you called.” She asked me “Do you have the phone number for the base?” “I can find it if you need it. Is he ok?” “No, no I don’t need the number. You need to call him.” She wasn’t telling me much and the more she talked the closer she was to sobbing. I was getting worried “Is he ok? Is something wrong?” She couldn’t help herself. She started sobbing “I …I …can’t tell you. I …promised. He’s…he wants… You need to call him.” Now I was really worried. “I can’t call him long distance. My parents wont let me. “What happened?! Is he Ok?” She blew her nose and said through her sobs that she would call him and tell him I was home. Then he could call me. I pleaded with her “Just tell me is he Ok?” “Heather, I don’t know. I cannot tell you. I promised.”

I didn’t know what to do. My Mom heard me on the phone and she asked if Ronnie was ok. I told her I didn’t know. All I knew was something happened and his Mom didn’t know if he was ok. I was waiting for him to call. I usually took his phone calls upstairs in my room but I couldn’t move away from the kitchen phone I just used. I was worried. I didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t let go of the phone. My Mom sat at the kitchen table while I paced back and forth within the distance that the phone cord would allow.

The phone rang and I picked it up immediately “Ronnie! Are you OK?!” It wasn’t Ronnie. “Hey Heather nice to talk to you too. It’s Clint. Can I talk to your brother.” “NO! Call back tomorrow!” and I hung up the phone. My Mom looked at me “Clint called.”

The next time the phone rang I picked it up just as quickly but before I could say anything I heard his voice “Is Heather there?” He sounded so calm I stopped pacing. “Ronnie! Are you Ok? Are you hurt? What happened? Your Mom was crying but she wouldn’t tell me anything.” I started crying. “Heather, I need to you to calm down. No I didn’t get hurt. Something happened today. I need to …” Then Ronnie started crying. “Hold on Ok?” Ronnie crying was a huge deal. Something is terribly wrong. I wished I could reach out and hold him, kiss him, tell him it was going to be ok. Anything to make him feel better.

In a choked up voice he said “I got my orders today.” {silence} Not knowing what to say I said “Ok.” Maybe he is so happy about coming home for Recruiter duty that he can’t stand it? “Heather, they are sending me to Germany! Did you talk to Sgt. Powell?” “What? Yes, I talked to Powell. He said he called.” “They are sending me to Germany. What did he say to them?” “Ronnie, I don’t know what he said. He wanted you here. Remember, he told us.” This time it was my turn to shhhh him. “Ronnie. Honey? Sweetie?” He gave out a sobbing “Yeah, I’m here.” “We already have a plan right? When you come home we will get married. Then I can go with you.” This made him angry “YOU DON”T UNDERSTAND!” Again I tried to calm him down “Ok, its ok. Tell me.” I could hear him breathing then finally he said “I leave tomorrow.” “Ok, how long will you be home?” Now he was yelling and crying “NO! YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!” I stopped talking so I could listen. He took a few deep breaths then said “They cancelled all leave. We can’t even get an off post pass. I leave for Germany tomorrow, tomorrow.” I heard what he said but he must be too upset to think straight “No, you get leave to come home before you go overseas. Remember, Powell told us...” He interrupted me “All I know is that I have to leave for Germany. Germany Heather! Tomorrow. They won’t even give us time to get civies from home.” He pauses again. “Remember when we travel we are suppose to wear our uniforms? On this trip we are ordered to wear civies and hats so we don’t stand out.” I was trying to take in all he was saying but it couldn’t be true.

My mind was racing. There had to be something we could do. Someone we could call to fix this! “Heather? Heather? Are you there?” Weakly I said “I’m here.” “Heather, I wont be able to see you before I go. We can’t get married before I go. It‘s a hardship tour. I have to be there for 2 to 3 years!” He meant it. This was real. I fell to my knees on the kitchen floor and held my hand over my mouth. No, no. That couldn’t be true.

My Mom pushed one of the kitchen chairs over and lifted me up in it while I clenched the phone in my hands. I lost it. I couldn’t stop myself from sobbing loudly. She put her arms around me and tried to rock me back and forth. “They are sending him far AWAY! THREE YEARS AWAY!!” I could hear Ronnie still talking so I pushed Mom away and put the phone back to my ear. “Heather?” I managed a few words “I’m still here.” He said “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry! I don’t know what to do…I don’t know what to do.” That phrase ‘to do’ there had to be something. I took a few deep breaths then said “Ronnie, we will figure out something. What did your Mom and Dad say?” Ronnie said “Dad called a few people but he says I have to go. I signed up for the Army. Mom is worried I wont have warm enough clothes.” He half laughed “She is packing up a box for me now. I don’t even have an address yet and she is packing me a box of winter clothes.”

It suddenly occurred to me that all the international flights I had heard of ,from my relatives visiting us, they went out of New York. That was our fix! I could meet him at the airport and we could get married while they waited for their flight!! I was sure I could convince his Mom to drive me up there. She was just as upset about him leaving as I was. If he was married before he left the Army would have to take that into consideration. You cannot be married and go on a hardship tour. If they didn’t let him stay then we could save up the dependant allowance and fly me over there to be with him when I graduated.

Ronnie was still half crying and talking. Excited that I had figured out a plan I said “Ronnie. Shhh. What are your travel plans?! If they fly you out of New York maybe your Mom and I could meet you up there! We could get married in the airport before you leave!” He stopped for a moment to think then asked me to hold on. “We have a military hop. We wont even be inside the airport.” After a few minutes he said “Heather, its late and other guys need to use the phone so I have to go. I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! Wait for me. Please still wait for me!” It was my last few minutes on the phone with him until I didn’t know when… “Ronnie. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! We will figure it out. Don’t worry. We will figure it out.” Before he hung up he said “Heather. I need you. Call my Mom she needs you too. I love you.” Then he hung up.

I was still holding the phone to my ear listening to the dial tone when my Mom took the phone away from me. She held me by the shoulders and asked if I was ok. I told her I wasn’t ok and I needed some air. I went for a drive with the radio blaring. This couldn’t really be happening. I know I should have called Mrs. Leadore right away but I needed to think. We needed to do something! There had to be something we could do! I was driving around aimlessly then I found myself at the mall where the recruiter station was. The mall was closed. Sgt. Powell wasn’t in his office. I parked my car anyway then got out and walked up to the mall doors. I peered in just incase I could see anything inside. Nothing.

I went back to my car and cried and yelled and cried and beat my hands against the steering wheel. My visor flipped down and I could see myself in the mirror. I didn’t like what I saw. I looked down and my hands were suddenly on my lap twisting together over and over again. There had to be something we could do. Sitting here in my car crying was not accomplishing anything.

On the drive home the tears that were falling down my face stopped. I needed to fix this. I needed help. I needed to talk to someone. My parents were both anxiously waiting my return. “Are you ok? You know he is in the Army. The military can do what they want with him because he belongs to them for the next few years.” I asked if there was anyone we could call to change his orders. I explained about the recruiter and everything. My Dad said “It’s not like they are sending him off to war and he is in the infantry. Be thankful. If you really want a life together you need to get use to this.”

Ronnie said for me to call his Mom so I called her. I figured she was still up too. We talked for an hour or so trying to figure out what to do but came up with nothing that was legal. Sgt. Powell had given me a card with his home number written on the back of it but I couldn’t find it. I spent most of the night looking for it. Somewhere between 2 am and 4 am I fell asleep on top of my covers with my clothes on.

The next day I had to go to school. My Mom was not about to let me stay home from school. My life had just been ripped apart and I still had to go to school?

That song from the Ramones... I Wanna Be Sedated was all I could think of.

Back To Base and More Love Letters from My Soldier

2008-08-03T00:18:00.000-07:00

55 Jan 86
Dearest Heather,
How is my sweet, wonderful, and beautiful fiancé. I Love You! I hope you are doing just fine. I miss you so much! I can’t wait to see you again, probably at the end of January. Today was a pretty slow day. All we did was lay around and sleep then about 3 o’clock our drill sergeant came in with a football and asked us if we wanted to play. We had a great time. It was really fun. The drill sergeant even played with us. We start back up to school tomorro. We will go to what they call the cage, that’s where we get told all the top secret information about missile. I got my top secret clearance. All we do now is play my buddies radio really loud and clown around the barracks. I hope you didn’t have too much fun at Players tonight. I remembered you said something about going on the phone today. It feels so good to hear your voice. I wish I could hear it all the time. If you notice I am out of tan envelopes and on my last 4 pieces of tan paper. It’s a good thing Gina got me some more stationary for Christmas. I will sure use it a lot.

You’ll never guess what I heard on the radio tonight…Give up. Well you probably guess it. Your right! I heard ‘Crazy For You’ twice and ‘I Miss You’ once. I had tears in my eyes while listening to these songs. I miss you so much! I’ll Always be Crazily (is that a word) in Love with You!

You are the only one I want and the only one I need. I really glad you told your parents about our future plans. I am also glad that they approve of me. I want you to know that I will always Love You no matter where I am at. Heather You are my Fiancé and someday (April 1, 1989) You will be my wife and I your Husband. Nothing will ever change my mind. I am yours forever. You are mine forever. I LOVE YOU!!

I got one of my friends with an instant camera to take some pictures of me. I have enclosed them with this letter. I want you to have these pictures to see what I do most of the time, write letters to you and lay around and think about us. If you want you can give my Mom one of the group shots of me and my two buddies. I would like you to show her all of the pictures thought so all my family can get an idea how our barracks look. If she is jealous you can give her one of me if you want. I will try to have some more taken, O.K.! All of the pictures were taken in our room. The other two guys in the pictures with me are my roommates and the other Prep School Candidates (West Point). The pictures with just me in them shows what my part of the room looks like. If you notice I need to do laundry. So what do you think of the room. Pretty nice, huh. Not Army looking. In the one picture me and Clint are showing off, being camera hams. This one was especially for you. Clint and Scott say Hi too. The red Porsche in the one picture is the car we might have someday.

I can’t wait to come home. I think I would make a good recruiter. I know a lot of people that need a steady job. I also know a guy who needs to spend some time at home with his Fiancé . Well I better get going O.K. I write more real soon. Also I’ll try to have some more pictures taken. I Miss You! LOVE YOU NOW, FOREVER & ALWAYS,

Ronnie

P.S. I can’t wait till 1989!!!

I was back at school and a bit more upbeat than I thought I would be. Ronnie was always right. Everything would work out. We had just spent two weeks together and he would come home at the end of January when he graduated from A School. Then we would find out where he was going…home to Frederick or where ever the Army sent him. If for some reason he wasn’t stationed in Frederick we would have time to get married and we now knew everything that had to be taken care of to get married in a hurry.

16 Jan 86
To My Only Love, Heather [not giving out my middle name]
How are you doing? I’m doing just fine. I finally got your pictures today. They are just fantastic! I Love them! You look so good in all of those pictures. I really like the one from the COZY, you know which one. You look really, really sexy in that picture. I LOVE YOU! I wish I could see you like that every night. Of couse, someday I will. The pictures that you took at the airport were really good too. You look especially good in those pictures. I Love your smile! It make me feel so good to see you smile and be happy. I can’t wait to see the pictures we had taken at Monkey Wards. I know you’ll look good in those too. I LOVE YOU NOW FOREVER AND ALWAYS!!

Love Ya,
Ronnie

Ha! Ha! I fooled you. I’m back. You don’t think I could say goodbye so soon do you. I got at least 2 or 3 more pages left.

Heather, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!! [drawings of three hearts]!! I’m in a pretty good mood today after talking to you last night and finding out all of this good news. I’m really glad to most likely be going home for Recruiter Aide. I’ll be able to see you a whole lot! My two friends are going to Germany. You know, Scott and Clinton. Did you talk to SGT. Powell yet and tell him our orders came in and I’m not going to Germany. Also did you tell him to call the Battery (B) and talk to my Commander. If not tell him to call soon. It would help a lot. Thanks, my love! It would be really neat to see you come down for graduation. I would love it, but remember it is a long drive and possibly a lot of money. If you did come down for graduation and I get stationed in Frederick for Recruiter duty; there would be two things that could happen: 1. I have travel time and could drive home with you. That would be great! 2. I would have to take a plane back and therefore beat you to Frederick. That wouldn’t be so good. Well it looks like I better find out what is going on so we can hurry up and make our plans. If you come out here for graduation I would want you to take my car because it seems like it could make the long trip a lot better. It also wouldn’t take away your Moms car for a couple of days. Also if you brought my car, I could drive back.

We have a dress greens inspection on Saturday by the Colonel. Then we are authorized our off post pass. We go to the field on the 21st for 2 nights and 3 days. We will erect the missile and practice or pretend we’re firing it. We are allowed to take pictures on these field exercises. I’m going to try to take some of me and the missile and send you some, O.K. I LOVE YOU [heart] !!!!!!

I also got your other letter today. The one that you typed. I got to tell you, that was a nicely typed letter. No mistakes at all. I enjoyed reading it. You said that sometimes you find yourself being pulled in two directions. One says let go and the other says hold on. I hope that your stronger part, to hold on, takes over and eliminates the part that wants to let go. I know I love you and I know I’m going to marry you and I know I’m not going to let you go no matter what. I only have one feeling in me and that is to keep you forever! Even though it does hurt to say goodbye all the time, it would hurt more to leave you. So I just look at the future and see what is to come - A long happy life with my future wife Heather [middle and last name]!!!

That was a very interesting dream you had about us at Players. I want you to be positive sure that someone does love you. I do. I want to marry you. I will never leave you. The past that we both had will never repeat itself. I will be your last love and you will be my last love. I will love you and you only til the end of time. Please don’t worry about things changing between us. Nothing will come between us, we are bonded like the seal of super glue. We will never be parted from each other, ever. I miss you a whole lot. It would hurt me so much to leave you so I never will. I never want to. I want to marry you and have a family with you and spend the rest of my life with you. I LOVE YOU!! I so glad your parents know of our future plans. I’m glad that you might be able to visit me wherever I go. That would be great. I’ll get to bed now, wish you were here. I’ll probably most likely see ya at the end of the month. Talk to SGT Powell, O.K. I miss you so much! I Need You!!

LOVE YOUR FIANCE NOT, FOREVER, AND ALWAYS !!!!!!

April 1st 1985 & 1989?
TLA Ron Loves Heather TLA

Ronnie
X0X0X
OXOXO
XOXOX
OXOXO

Sergeant Powell was great about keeping in touch with me. I stopped by to chat with him on my way in to work as it was in the same mall as Montgomery Wards. If he didn’t see me or hear from me for a few days he called my house to check in with me. It was funny when my Dad answered the phone “She is already signed up with Naval Academy. She isn’t interested in the Army.” He was always surprised that I was so willing to talk to an Army recruiter. Each time I had to explain it was Powell, Ronnie’s Recruiter.

I remember one visit where Dizzy-D went with me on my day off. We were shopping for dresses and I had become so accustomed to being in their office it was like being in someone’s living room. I was sitting on one of the desks swinging my feet and looking down at the floor while I chattered on about the latest news from Ronnie. Sergeant Powell was filing papers a few feet away and he said “I loose more guys because of sweet little girls like you. You are the ‘All American Girl’ the ‘Girl Next Door’. If you had been one of those others…that only wants to get married, get away from their parents, well those usually drop off quick. Thank you for sticking with this. He needs you more than he is letting on.”

More than he was letting on? Well, maybe it was the fact that I only passed on some information. I didn’t pass on the mushy stuff to Sergeant Powell. I didn’t even let my friends read all the letters Ronnie sent. Aside from Ronnie’s phone calls and letters Sergeant Powell was my only other link to what was possibly going on with Ronnie in Oklahoma. Any information he could pass on or any questions he could answer were another way for me connect to Ronnie. Any link with Ronnie was greatly appreciated. I need it. I need it so much.

Military Wedding?

2008-08-01T18:13:00.000-07:00

Christmas was celebrated at my family's house on Christmas Eve at midnight so I could enjoy Christmas Day at Ronnie's house. I did have to wait until he called to say they were awake and everything. I would like to say I was bright eyed and bushy tailed but I was reluctant to wake after such a late night of opening presents at home. Ronnie understood and called me again around lunch time. I came over as soon as I was ready. All of my gifts were wrapped perfectly, after all I wasn't the best gift wrapper Wards had ever known for nothing.

I can remember exactly what I gave his parents ....a speaker phone "Now Ronnie can call and speak to all of you at once!" This was a HUGE deal! Everyone wanted to HEAR him when he called and his phone calls home were few and far between. He usually only called his family when he couldn’t reach me. I wanted more than anything for him to call me but sometimes I felt he was neglecting his family. Even when he called his family they had to pass on information they had heard because we didn't really have speaker phones or anything much like them at the time.

I even bought one for myself so my family could hear his voice. I was so enthralled with his voice I wanted my family to know just how much and experience it with me. I had mine installed off the kitchen phone. This way everyone in the whole house would KNOW I was on the phone with Ronnie! I didn’t use it very much as our conversations always lead to mushy stuff.

Christmas night I was at Ronnie's house with his family. It was wonderful. He was so happy to have his family, best friends and me all under one roof. There were a few times I had to remind him that we were not alone. We only kissed lightly on the lips when others were around which was something new for us. He got out of hand a few times...so I had to remind him we were in his parents house. Ok, Players was a different story. This was his territory, he didn’t have to prove anything to anyone and he knew it. There were a few times he pulled me behind closed doors and only managed to kiss me once or twice before I said "Open that door young man" or his Mom came around and said the same thing. It was a bit funny to his Mom and I but Ronnie didn't seem to think so. "You will be my wife soon and that won't work. Everyone will have to get use to it sooner or later."

When he said that to his mother, she said "As long as you are under my roof mister." I had to laugh! My parents would have said the same thing! And then some, because I was a their precious princess. The Leadore’s house was a Ranch style, ours was a two story so upstairs where the bedrooms were was off limits and anyone trying to make their way up. Any guy trying that at our house…well they would have been shot. There was a loaded shot gun in the closet at the bottom of the stairs. My Dad's spoken policy was "Shoot first and ask questions latter." My Dad never fired that shot gun, not even when he went hunting. He did make a habit of cleaning it when I introduced a guy who wanted to go out on a date with me. Surprisingly, not one guy ever left without going on the first date with me but there were several one and only dates.

Each day that passed we volleyed back and forth. Ronnie wanted us to get married as soon as he stepped off the plane and I wanted to at least finish college. Things changed since that night at the Cozy. I felt we had to get married as soon as possible. On the days I was thinking we had to get married that day Ronnie would say "Your parents would never forgive me if you didn't graduate high school." I eventually came up with a plan. We would get married, he would go back to finish A School and I would finish high school. In the mean time all the proper military forms would be filled out and we would be together no matter where they sent him. He didn’t like that plan “What if I come back here for Recruiter Aide? We will be married, you living with your parents and me at the base. When we are married we WILL live under OUR own roof, together.” The thought of us being married and living in the same house while I went to high school just seemed so wrong…to both of us. Could you imagine if I was sick, who would write my note to the attendance office? My parents or my husband? Weird.

Then there were days when Ronnie said "I can't live without you. We need to get married before I leave." Usually I was a little brat on those days. “Well, you didn’t want to when I suggested it and I’M the GIRL! Do you know how difficult it is to be the GIRL and say something like that? Why is it a bad idea when I say it but not when you say it?“ We always seemed to be on opposites on any given day ..."your parents would never forgive me if I made you give up your diploma" and I was telling him they would forgive so long as our parents were invited to the wedding. We didn't need permission. We wanted approval. He wanted my parents approval. "They need to know that I can take care of you and your Dad was in service before. You know what it is like. I want us to have that townhouse. I want us to have that car and you don't have to do anything." I told him over and over again "I don't want things, I want you. I want to be with you. We can work together to get those things." Ronnie would come back with "You are not making this decision on your own, I want you to have things and so do your parents. We are not negotiating this." I have to admit I was use to getting my way. Ronnie saying there was no "negotiating" was the end of the line and I didn't like it but I knew he meant it. I pitched a little girlie pouting fit about it but he would budge. Again, another first for me. If I pouted or said "or else" I usually got my way with everyone except Ronnie. He only let me get my way if it was the right decision or it didn’t effect the rest of our lives. My goodness, I have to say ...how young was I?!

I was a real brat but I felt I had every right to be. We already made love and we were not married yet. I was going to give up the two nominations I had to the Naval Academy so why wouldn’t he give a little bit over ‘things’? That’s right, I not only had a letter of nomination from our local Congress woman but I also had one from President Ronald Regan who can only give out a few per year. Ronnie didn’t really want me to go to the Academy since that would mean four years at the Academy and four years of service. With him in the Army and me in the Navy we wouldn’t see much of each other. My Dad was very proud I was accepted but he was also worried. Women in the Academy wasn’t exactly new but they went through more than what the Navy put on them.

Ronnie and were both on the same side and in agreement on New Years Eve. We had everything planned, so we thought. The brides maids (Lefty's Angles) would wear their prom dresses from the last prom, the ushers would wear the suits they have and Ronnie would rent a tux. I tried and tried to explain how wonderful it would be to get married in his dress greens but he wouldn't budge on that. IN turn I wouldn't budge on my dress. I did look at several shops but the least expensive was a 20s flapper dress and I wanted something in the lines of wedding dresses from "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes." Since it was after Christmas and there was the Cozy party, we had both spent a great deal of our money. We still had our own car insurance to pay. I had a check coming for around $70. The facts were we would have enough to pay for everything in a month or so but not enough to get married right away.

Then there was the obstacle of telling our parents. We could just elope but I Promised we would tell his Mom! I wanted a nice wedding too, with my friends and both of our families. I had it all planned out with his approval before. The biggest obstacle we faced was my graduation. It wasn't just my parents but his as well "she has to finish school first." Both of our friends (especially mine), his parents, the faculty at my school, turning down two nominations to the Naval Academy - and me a Navy Chief's daughter. Ronnie had already graduated from high school and now making his own way in the world. The focus was now on me, what I had to give up and what no one wanted me to give up.

Well, we had our work cut out for us be we pushed forward. Ronnie and I went to his Catholic church only to find out they wouldn't marry us unless I converted. We only had a few days. I would have done anything to marry him at that point but time was of the essence since he was leaving in just a few days. My church would marry us but we had to take a two week marriage course. We finally decided on the chapel on base, Ft. Detrick. The pastor there would marry us and even told me about the sword and saber squad (they were supplied with a rifle squad but it would the same as a saber squad). I was a little afraid of being swatted on the butt. Apparently, when the married couple reaches the end of the arch the swards/rifles are crossed to stop them and the soldier on the bride’s side swats her on the butt and says “Welcome to the Army!” I thought they meant he swats me with a sward or rifle not his hand. He also told Ronnie and I that we needed a local marriage license.

We talked to his recruiter who made it sound like it was a done deal that Ronnie would come back to Frederick as a Recruiter's Aide. From the recruiter it sounded like one phone call to the commander would make it all happen. Ronnie believed him but I had my doubts. It wasn't anything personal, I had lived as a military brat all my life. You could be living in one city one day and have to move to the next day then go back to the same city the same day or go across country. Nothing wrong with that because you are use to it, you are a military brat, that is the way it is. Or you could be stationed and live in the same place for years. That is the military. Random as necessary. Ronnie believed what he was told...set in stone. To me I heard a possibility not a promise. IF the military, any branch, promises you anything, get it witting and frame in on the wall. (Government of any sort not just the military - I still have a personal, hand written letter of apology from the IRS framed)

My parents were very proud of the way I handled Ronnie's initial departure. They didn't know I agreed to marry him...our engagement was one sided ...only his family knew about it. My parents would have stopped any and all letters from him had they known. They thought he was a phase...they were waiting it out. My parents knew I was very serious about Ronnie but they hoped the distance from him would be good for me, i.e. I would get over him. I didn't have to tell Ronnie about how my parents felt about my future...he knew. I was expected to discover a cure for cancer or at least be on the house of senate as a speaker of some sort. At the very least I could make a good go of the "square" combat ship. Before Ronnie came home I had great dreams and expectations of myself. So did my family and even my friends. I gave in. All I wanted was to be Ronnie's wife and make him proud of me. I stopped wanting to make my Dad proud of me. I stopped wanting to make my friends expect great things of me. I only wanted to be Ronnie's wife. Do everything to make Ronnie happy. I was part of his life. Brining Ronnie his slippers at the end of the work day seemed far more satisfying than brining up old parchments to the capital building and reminding them why those parchments existed. All that mattered to me was Ronnie. Being near him. I only cared about being within arms reach of him.

We finally agreed to get married on New Years day but everything was closed and nothing we could do about my wedding dress and still afford wedding rings ( it was really important that we have a double ring ceremony instead of my idea to use just my engagement ring), the photos we had at the portrait studio wouldn't be ready for our announcement, and we wouldn't get a marriage license for Three Days! Ronnie had to go back on January 3rd.

There were a few arguments between us "Well, if you had agreed at the time I said we should do it...." When it finally sunk in that there was nothing we could do about it…we agreed that this must not be the right time. Ronnie reminded me of something I always seemed to have on hand when I wanted it "Everything happens for a reason." I have always believed that God knows the big plan, the big picture and I have to go with it and what happens later will be better than I ever expected.

We finally accepted there was nothing we could do. We just had to put our lives in God's hands. Everything would workout. Our friends were ready at moments notice for our wedding but we never had the plans nailed down enough to actually tell our parents that we were about to have our wedding. It took a lot of courage to tell my parents we had been engaged for months.

Ronnie went back to the base in OK to finish his A school. His graduation was the end of January.

*************
Sorry it took so long to get this posted. There are many things coming regarding the Ronnie Crazy For You Soap Opera that I had great difficulty writting. I had to stop thinking about it for awhile. Some things life throws at you...well, you just don't come to terms with...even after so many years.

On the upside I have re-connected with several of my friends in the past. They were really suprised I kept a certain incident to myself all these years. What that is you will have to wait until I can actually get it all down without breaking down.

Sisters Get Along and Times They Don't...

2008-07-28T19:41:00.000-07:00

Thank you Brill for opening a door that might be shut forever.

I just had a huge fight with my little sister whom I absolutely love. She and I had never argued like this before. She actually said "I'm sorry I ever called you! I don't ever want to speak to you again! EVER!" Thanks to Brill, after my sister hung up on me screaming yelling at me. I thought at first, ok I will wait until tomorrow for her to cool off and we will patch things up. Instead, thanks again to Brill, I called my sister right back and expected the answering machine where I would apologize profusely. My Sis answered the phone and said in a haughty voice "WHAT!?!!" We both left off yelling at each other. When I called back I said very calmly "Ok, I am a donkey's butt. I am." You could tell that was not the answer she expected out of me and she half laughed but she didn't hang up. At first she screamed and yelled at me and I sat there and waited for her to get it all out. It was only a matter of minutes before she half laughingly said "Did you actually say Donkey butt?" "Sure, I said Donkey butt. I have recently added Monkey butt and chicken butt to my vocabulary but my children say I am not allowed to use those terms in public." Half crying and half laughing she says "So you say Donkey butt?" "Yeah, I said Donkey butt. I am sorry I was not listening to all you had to say. It upsets me that you don't always see the potential you have. Not to grow on but HAVE in hand. I am still a Donkey butt for not waiting to hear all you had to say. You are a monkey butt for swinging around the trees to hang me right away though." "What?! I'm a butt? A Monkey butt?!" "Yes, you are prettier than me." {Silence..........} Then we seem to both burst into laughter at the same time. She said half crying and half laughing "I'm not a monkey butt. I said "Oh but you are prettier than me, I'm a donkey butt." More laughter and we also work out the original issue. Still talking and laughing at the end of the phone call.

Portrait Studio

2008-07-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

Even though Ronnie was home and my school was now closed for the holidays I still had to work. During the time I was at work Ronnie ran his errands and even came to see me during my lunch or dinner break depending on what my hours were that day. During one of my breaks we had our photos taken at the Montgomery Wards Portrait studio located right next to the credit card counter I worked. Those guys at the studio were a real hoot! And I mean that! They were gay and the one guy really cracked me up. They were a couple one seemed more like a straight guy (Ryan) and the other was a real flamer (Daryl). I loved listening to them talk to each other, the way Daryl carried on about every thing and Ryan was always trying to calm him down “Nancy, your slip [gay] is showing.” They told us that we looked like the perfect couple. “Your children are going to be absolutely gorgeous!” Ronnie and I had never met a gay person before. I thought they were great but I think they scared Ronnie a little.

Before I go on…

2008-07-26T19:56:00.000-07:00

I want to explain my decision to post certain things in my last post. There aren’t many books that I have read which describe “a first time” accurately in my opinion. Everything I had heard and read before that night was full of wonderful feelings of excitement, pure joy and ecstasy. “The earth MOVED, the Angels wept and the Heavens opened up in song” and many other things I found out were so NOT true. I thought all those feelings I felt in my heart and physically from kissing, tenderness and being so closely held…well, making love would be an even more intense feeling. When it‘s your first time, it so isn‘t all that… I thought of a more appropriate phrase “Love Hurts!”

When my Mother gave me “the talk” in 7th grade, she said “When two people love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together they make love. It is a wonderful, joyful time in a young woman’s life. It is a truly wonderful experience. God made us this way so we could enjoy life together with one very special man.” That was IT. She didn’t say anything else. Ever. Not even the night before my wedding.

I had the talk with Oldest Daughter and I told her - When you think you have the right guy you better be ready to walk down the isle. I know it isn’t realistic to think you would wait until your wedding night but hey, I can hope. It is a great gift to give yourself to your husband as a virgin because he will know no one else has ever touched you. Think of how upset you get when your brother or sister uses your toothbrush. That is a toothbrush, that goes in your mouth. Think about the mechanics of sex…(pause for her to think over what parts go where). Yeah, you want to make sure its not contaminated right? STD testing is FREE and you should have your hubby tested before you get married.

Anyway, the first time is a bit painful experience but if you are getting married you already know you love each other and will spend the rest of your lives together. The pain is not like someone dropping a piano on you, its more like banging your private area into the corner of the coffee table over and over until the guy reaches his climax. You might have a burning sensation around your abdomen and some abdominal muscle pain. This is normal and it wont last very long. If it does then come to me and we will talk it over. It won’t always feel like that. After many, many times it is actually really, really enjoyable. Incredible even! The thing is you don’t want to have to go through all of the initial physical pain if you are not going to be with that person forever.

I really, REALLY wish someone would have told me! I was not at all prepared for my first time. Or the times after that. It really took a long time for it to actually feel incredible. I couldn’t understand why in the world so many girls from my high school were so willing to have sex. Not only was it uncomfortable it was also very messy and a bit gross. “Wet Spot”, um, ewww! Then you think about all of those guys having sex in their cars? The cars they loved more than anyone. There are oh so many cars I wouldn’t have sat in, front seat or back, had I known about wet spots before the Cozy. Like anyone who ever dated Nicky or even Giggles and many of the guys in band. Guys in band use to drive me home after practice, many of which I knew were sexually active with whichever girlfriend they had at the time. Again, Ewww! I would have walked home if I had known how messy sex was.

Well, I hope everyone forgives me for my posts on sex. It’s my blog and I can write what I like but I truly didn’t want to offend anyone. I only thought it was fair to write it as it was not dress it up pretty or just say “we did it.” I also want to add that Ronnie didn’t do anything wrong. My body just wasn’t use to sex…yet.

Cozy Inn Surprise Party …Continued

2008-07-26T19:12:00.000-07:00

(Parental Supervision Strongly Recommended)

Jim dropped him off after a party with his friends. Sad to say there were only one or two of Ronnie’s friends at my party. For some reason our friends didn’t seem to mesh as well as we had hoped. Oh well, it didn’t matter really. What mattered tonight was my friends were celebrating how much they appreciated Ronnie and his return home!

Given our past escapades…the Cozy last time and our well lack of taking care of business along with how hot and bothered we get in his car but didn’t follow through. Well this might work.

Ronnie and I mingled for a few minutes then I lost my nerve. When no one was looking I bailed by crawling out a back window in the bed room. Lori was in the parking lot out back looking for the party. I asked her to take me to the nearest gas station. She laughed. She graduated in 85 from my high school and knew me very well. “It’s ok to be a little afraid. Let’s go get a bite to eat and talk it over. You know you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” We went to a McDonalds up the street but I couldn’t eat. I was so nervous! I worried that Ronnie would leave when he couldn’t find me anywhere in that cabin. Then what would I do? What could I say?

By the time Lori’s food arrived we had talked enough that I felt confident I was doing the right thing. Lori didn’t say a word the whole time. I did all the talking. I convinced myself this was the right thing to do. We had her food packed to go and returned to the cabin. We could have gone through the front door but I thought it was better to crawl back through the window. Darn! Someone closed and locked that window so we had to go through the front door. Ugh! I didn’t want everyone to know I bailed! Oh well, it only mattered to one person if I bailed or not. As soon as I walked through the door I scanned the room and there he was…leaning up against a wall in the living room. The look on his face was pure joy. He started to walk towards me but stopped, my smile assured him I was walking straight over to him.

I walked right up to him, pushed my hands inside his jacket around his waist and pressed my head against his chest. He ran his fingers through my hair then held my face in his hands so we were looking right at each other. “Heather, I WANT to do this but we don’t NEED to do this.” I blushed and buried my face in his chest. “I know. I just want to have a nice party for you.”

We played a few rounds of quarter with nearly warm beer because the fridge didn’t work right. Was I going to call the management to take care of it? No! We were all under aged and there were far more people in the cabin than allowed.

After awhile Ronnie said it was time for me to stop so I stopped playing and stopped socializing. I am sure I stopped making sense to anyone. Kay-Kay had already explained that we were there for the night so he put me to bed in “our room.” He noticed the sheer robe on the bed and asked about it. “That goes with a little something the girls took me shopping for today.” I decided to show him what that was all about. I had pondered what to do about the lingerie. Rather than having to change into it I would wear it under my clothes. Ronnie and I seemed to do better about getting all hot and bothered when we were both fully clothed and this would have been a nice surprise. I sat up in the bed, unbuttoned my shirt a little to show him a bit of it and he took a deep breath. He didn’t say a word but leaned over and kissed me.

Then he mentioned the Champaign Jim sent over with him. The Champaign had been in the room since Ronnie got there but we were sure it might still be a little chilled from the trip over. We drank a few glasses while we talked about how much we had missed each other. Specifically, seeing each other face to face, holding each others hands, being held…then one thing lead to another and we were laying down on the bed, hot and breathing heavily.

All of a sudden I jumped up! And yelled “STOP!!!” Poor Ronnie “Are you kidding me?” I was trying to make my way off the bed “No, Really! Stop!” Then I couldn’t speak. I was holding my mouth and pushing him away. I did the hand motions for WAIT! WAIT! I took a few breaths and in between I said “Get K - Get K! Need K!” Poor Ronnie didn’t know what to think but he ran out of the room. Ronnie didn’t come back in the room but Kay- Kay and Dizzy-D did and said “Come on! It’s Ronnie! He loves you….” Just before they started in on all the reasons I love Ronnie I said “I HURT! {gagging} My stomach!”

This was something they had heard before…not from me but they knew what to do. In a matter of seconds they opened the bedroom door and announced that everyone look at the front door for a BIG surprise! Then Dizzy said to me “Run to the bathroom. HURRY!” I ran from the bedroom through the living room where there were more than 20 people watching the front door. Then through the kitchen where I almost knocked over Flic and made it into the bathroom. I heard someone say “Did Heather run through here naked?” I was mortified! I wasn’t naked! I was wearing the lingerie but still if they would have said lingerie I would have felt the same.

Warm beer and warm champagne do not mix well in a body that is only 98 lbs. I thought I had it all figured out, I would be so smashed I couldn’t screw it up this time. Now I was in the bathroom with everything in my stomach making a quick exit. Flic and Giggles were in there with me right away. As soon as Kay-Kay and Dizzy-D knew I made it in the bathroom they came in. Flic was holding my hair back and Giggles put a wet wash cloth on the back of my neck. Dizzy-D laughingly said “Only you could be so nervous. You love the guy and now he has to sweat it out …again.” I started crying and Kay-Kay said “Don’t worry. He loves you. He knows you love him and you are trying.” Giggles and Flic added “We can fix your make up and we have toothpaste to freshen up your breath.”

Then a knock came at the bathroom door…it was Ronnie and he was really worried “Heather? Are you ok? Is she ok?” We all laughed!! Then there was a unanimous “She will be out in a minute!” Not only did I love Ronnie but all of my friends thought he was the perfect guy for me. They had never said that about any other guy I dated. Mostly, they hated any guy I had dated before hand. For all of them to agree that one particular guy was perfect for me was just amazing. He had the approval of my best friends, my guy friends and every friend I had. Even my parents liked him!

On top of all of that he was the reason I could breath. I loved him so very much. Then, there I am kneeling to the porcelain god, being violently ill. There was no mistaking what I was doing in that bathroom. I was so embarrassed I just couldn’t follow through. I wanted to, more than anything but now…magic doesn’t follow this sort of trip to the bathroom.

My friends patched up my make up and gave me enough toothpaste to poison an elephant. When the bathroom door opened Ronnie was standing right there. He scooped me up in his arms and carried me straight to the bed room and laid me on the bed “Do you want water? Soda? Anything at all. I will get it for you.” I reached out my hand and stroked his face. “I just want you to hold me” and he did. He placed my left arm across his chest to his right shoulder while placing my head on his left shoulder and he wrapped his arms lightly around me. With a light sigh he said “I love you. Thank you for the party. It was a great party.” I sort of laughed. “Yeah! Some party. I’m sorry. I did try. I did want to…” he shhhed me and said “I know you wanted to. This isn’t easy for you. I Love You. I love you Now, Forever and Always. Always. I Love you. It will happen when it’s the right time for both of us.”

I fell asleep for a little while. It couldn’t have been long because I could still hear music and people in the living room. He was still holding me. It was such a nice, warm, safe feeling that I couldn’t help myself. He was asleep but he woke up when I kissed him. We started kissing. Heavy breathing ensued and he held me tighter and tighter. Soon he was looming over top of me kissing my neck and his arms running under my back. He rubbed his cheeks against mine and said “I love you. I want to be with you …always. You are my love. My one and only. I love you.”

I was so intoxicated with his kisses and his words. I knew all along I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. It was agony being away from him for past few months. I need him like I needed air to breath. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him close. I kissed him as if my last breath of life depended on it. He kissed my neck and I kissed his. What ever he did to me I mirrored to him. If his body flinched upward so did mine. He kissed my ears and I was lost in a translucent pink fog. Then I felt his presence in mine.

A fearful gasped escaped out of me. He was slowly pushing his way into me. I was confused. It didn’t make my body feel wonderful and tingly like the kissing, gentle touching and being in his arms. It was pressure and painful, like banging your knee on the corner of a coffee table, over and over again. I didn’t know what to do. I froze. He kissed me very gently over and over again while asking me if I was ok. Instinctively I nodded. I kissed him back and he moved …he moved inside me and each time I gasped. I was trying to control my breathing so I wouldn’t cry. This was new to me and I didn’t know how to react. I was afraid but the more he kissed me, the more his arms and hands touched my back and grasped me the more I felt this was right. Sometimes squeezing me too tightly and sometimes very gentle. The pain wouldn’t go away. I wanted to cry. I wanted to stop. His movements became faster … faster. His breathing was heavy and quick. Suddenly he said “Stop! Don’t move!” Then he reached his climax and erupted inside me. The combination of his breathing and the explosion felt wonderful.
It felt like his heart was wrapping its self around me. He stopped moving, kissed me long and hard then laid next to me. I felt relived to have him out of me. But I also felt our souls had been bound together, forever.

While catching his breath he pulled me next to him and squeezed me tightly and asked “Are you? Are you sure you are ok? Did I hurt you?” I held on to him tightly saying “I’m ok. I’m ok.” I don’t know if I was trying to convince him or myself. I felt tears running down my face. I was so confused, I felt sad and happy at the same time. Ronnie loved me. I was sure of that. He would never hurt me. He only wanted to be closer to me. Bound with me. We wanted to be together always and this was a bond that couldn’t be broken. It was very uncomfortable for my body but for my heart it was the most extreme moment of my life.

I was so happy. Then I couldn‘t control the tears that were now running down my face like a waterfall. I didn’t know why at first. He felt the tears on his chest. He leaned over on his side and laid me down on the pillow and in a choked up voice said “Heather! Heather, are you ok? Oh please be ok.” I took a few breaths and said “I’m ok.” the crying grew and he was feeling so sorrowful. I thought of him saying “Don’t Move” and I started to cry more. I sobbed into his shoulder “Did I do it wrong? I‘m sorry. I‘m so sorry.” He half laughed and held me closer. “You didn’t do anything wrong. This is what is suppose to happen.” Ok, so I didn’t do it wrong but I was still crying. There was something else. “Heather, it’s ok. I promise.” I couldn’t stop myself … It had to come out --- I sobbed so wearily “We’re, ….we’re noooot, ….married. I promised and I’m not suppose to…” He held me so tightly I could hardly breath, stoked my hair over and over while kissing all over my face. He said “Shhh. It will be ok. Shhhh. We are getting married. We will get married tomorro, next week, next month or 1989. Whenever you say. I wont rush you. Know this, we will be married. I will be your husband and you my wife. We are ok. We are ok.” My arms closed around his shoulders and I took a few breaths. I could breath and the tears drifted away. Before this night I knew he loved me and he knew I loved him. We jumped over this line drawn in the sands of life together …together forever.

Surprise Party at the Cozy Inn

2008-07-25T08:15:00.000-07:00

My friends and I wanted to throw Ronnie a surprise homecoming party at the Cozy. This time it wouldn’t be just Ronnie and I. All of our friends were invited. Ronnie’s best friend Jim offered to make sure Ronnie made it there.

My friends and I booked a large cabin with two bedrooms, full kitchen and dinning/ living room combo. My friends also decided I needed to do a little shopping before the party. I had never been so embarrassed in my whole life! They took me shopping all over the city for lingerie. Everything I saw looked far too slutty. If I had to buy something I wanted it to be classy and beautiful, something you would see on Dynasty. Finally we agreed on a purchase and I was relieved. I didn’t want to go in to one more shop. What if on our way out we had seen someone we know from like Church! Or someone who knew my parents?! I would have just Died!

Since Ronnie made it clear that what ever he was doing I would be right there with him I had to tell him a little white lie. He couldn’t come shopping with us or help us with any of the party preparations. So, I told him I was working that day and he should hang out with his friends. Ronnie is so sweet. He decided to come visit me at work. I wasn’t at work. They also told him I wasn’t on the schedule to work. Oh boy was he angry! He was thinking of all the worst case scenarios. Was I out with another guy? One of those new Guy Pals? He drove all over Frederick looking for me! The longer he looked for me the more his anger grew. Finally he went home and let out his anger in front of his friends. Jim tried to calm him down but nothing was working so he told him about the surprise party. Ronnie calmed down considerably.

I arrived at the cabin in the early afternoon to make sure everything was set up. I even went to the store to pick up a few things for breakfast. Yes, we were staying the whole night. I was not going to be alone. There were two bedrooms and a pull out in the living room. All of the Angles were going to be there to get me through this. I was nervous as all get out and we all knew what had happened the last time Ronnie and staid the night together. This time it was very important. He wanted to get married right away but I needed a compromise. I would be completely his and not sacrifice my high school diploma.

I had to do this! This time I really had to follow through. Not just to do it but to let him know I was his. I wasn’t going anywhere with anyone else. I was going to do this. We had a few near misses getting all hot and heavy in his car at the Falls or the Overlook. We were both all hot and bothered with kissing and he actually managed to be laying on top of me and I was still kissing him. Then he started to undo his pants and I was all “STOP! I need air!” While still laying on top of me he rolled down the window of the passenger door. I then said “Um, ah, I need to get out and walk around.” He said I could do that later. He was kissing my cheeks when he noticed there were a few tears on my face.

He stopped, sat up. Frustrated he said “What?!” I sat up and looked at him with sort of sad puppy eyes “I just can’t. I can’t. I’m sorry.” He banged his hands on the steering wheel then said “Why do you keep doing this to me? We come up here. You kiss me like that. I kiss your neck and you move your body like…” He didn’t finish that sentence instead he grabbed hold of the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. “Ronnie you know I can’t. You’ve always known. I’m really sorry.” He was quit for a few minutes then I said “I just really, REALLY like kissing you. I love having your arms wrapped around me. It feels so good to snuggle up to you.” He let go of the steering wheel, sat back in his seat and closed his eyes. While shaking his head he said “How do you just stop like that? Doesn’t it frustrate you?” “No, actually, I really like getting all hot and bothered like that with you.” He started up the car then said “It must be different for girls. Guys can’t shut it off like that.” I slid up next to him and wound my arm around his and he said “No. You get over there. All the way over there by the door.” He meant what he said but he was being playful about it. “Go on, scoot back over there. No telling what might happen if I get you in my arms again. I don’t think I would stop.” He was sounding a little bit pouty and for some reason that made me want to laugh. I turned my head away and covered my mouth to keep from laughing. “Are you laughing at me?” “Ronnie, you are so cute. I love you.”

So, this surprise party was going to be The Night! Everything was ready. Giggles’ brother provided liquid lavation, we brought candles, food, soda and everyone of the Angles was ready to back me up on The Night. I was ready. Well, almost. I needed some liquid encouragement. It was unanimously agreed that although all the alcohol was still a bit warm it wouldn’t hurt me with my Irish background. So, we girls played quarters to make it fun. No matter who made it …or not I had to drink. After a few rounds of quarters I decided it was time for photos. If I happened to chicken out at the last minute at least Ronnie would have photos of me in my lingerie to keep him company in the Army. Kay-Kay and Dizzy-D told me how to pose and I laughed myself silly. I couldn’t imagine myself being sexy even with this lingerie. Still, I posed and did mostly what they said. Ronnie didn’t know about the photos so I figured what was the harm. If I didn’t like them then he would never know they existed.

Soon other people started to show up. People from our school had heard about the party and started to come in droves. “I only told a couple of people” seemed to be the standard answer. Then there were even people who had graduated a few years before us! Um, huh? Have you ever seen that commercial about the shampoo, then I told someone then they told a few people and so on and so on…

The cabin was over run with people. We didn’t know what to do with them. At first we lied and said all the alcohol was gone. “No prob. We brought our own!” Soon the place was swimming with all sorts of people and alcohol. There was a BIG BANG from one of the bedrooms. Ooops! Dizzy-D, Flic and Giggles were all jumping on the bed with a few of the guys. Just jumping on the bed like little kids would do but to the sound of Punk music. The bed was broken. As I looked into the room I said “You are paying the deposit. You made your bed now you will sleep in it. I’m not sharing my bed with you.”

Several games of warm beer quarters later Ronnie came through the door! Finally! The guest of honor was here!

Off To A Bumpy Start

2008-07-22T13:39:00.000-07:00

Friday and Saturday we spent all day with Ronnie’s friends and family. Well, not all of his friends. There was one friend I didn’t enjoy being around. Matt. Matt had a tendency to lean on the negative of every thing possible that could go wrong. It seemed like the only time he didn’t say anything negative was when he said nothing at all. The night I met Ronnie I had my first conversation with Matt. “Are you sure your boyfriend doesn’t mind you dancing with other guys?” “What boyfriend?” “Oh, I see. You mean which one?” I told him “I don’t have a boyfriend.” He asked “Then who is that guy you hugged? He is always up there dancing with you and he sits at the table with you.” “I hug all of my friends. I also dance with my friends.” He pointed out Patrick and I couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Patrick? He is one of my Guy Pals. “That guy is not your friend. He wants to sleep with you. Guy Pals are just guys getting close to you and waiting for the opportunity to screw you.” I was appalled! In a bit of a stutter I said “You don’t know what you are talking about. You don’t know us. We don’t feel like that towards each other. There are rules too.” This I gotta hear. So, what are the Rules? I wasn’t sure I wanted to continue this awkward conversation but I wanted Ronnie to know those guys that were around me all night are not competing for my attention. They are just friends. I told him the rules “Little girl wake up. They don’t care about your rules. They want to screw you.” Ronnie told Matt to stop and for me to ignore him.

While Ronnie was home for Christmas I tried not to say anything that would start up a conversation with Matt. I tried not to say anything at all in front of Matt. That didn’t stop him. He would watch Ronnie and I kiss or hug then say “It will never last. She will cheat on you and break your heart.” Or “She’s never going to marry you.” Ronnie knew this was just part of Matt’s personality and didn’t take it personally. He also knew it was upsetting me. Ronnie had enough and told Matt that if he didn’t stop then he wouldn’t see him for the rest of his visit. He stopped …saying them in front of Ronnie. Instead he would whisper these things as he passed by me. It was very hurtful. Thank goodness we didn’t see much of Matt.

The first Sunday Ronnie was home Giggles said “Lets all go to Player's tonight!” I didn’t really want to go to Players. I wanted to spend time talking with Ronnie and maybe some alone time for kissing. Ronnie wanted to go so we went. After we were there for a little while I figured out why he wanted to go. He wanted to see what was going on at Players, if there was anyone new hanging around that he should be worried about. He even sat out a few dances and told me “Go ahead. Dance with your friends. I will be right here.” I danced with the Angles, Patrick and Ray-Ray as a group no one on one. I preferred dancing with a group but always made an exception for Ronnie. Him I wanted to dance alone with.

I came off the dance floor and sat across Ronnie’s lap, draping my arm around his neck. I wasn’t sitting there for more than a few seconds when Todd came up behind us. “You better put her down. That girl’s legs are locked at the knees and she’s engaged. You’re not going to get anywhere with her. Trust me. I am helping you out.” Before either of us could say anything he grabbed my arm and tried to yank me out of Ronnie’s lap! Ronnie put his arms around me and held me where I was. “Thanks buddy for watching out for her… but don’t you ever touch her again.” To say Ronnie was pissed was an understatement. “Todd! What is wrong with you?! This is Ronnie. He knows I’m engaged. I’m engaged to HIM!” Ronnie asked “Who is this guy?” I introduced them “This is Todd. He is a butt-hole.” Brent and Chris saw what happened and they came over to our table. Brent is Todd’s friend so he stands next to Todd and asked if everything was ok. I introduced him too “This is Brent. He isn’t a butt-hole. He is just friends with one.” Brent laughed. “Thanks. I’m not a butt-hole.” Giggles came to the table to take a little breather. As she walked past Todd she didn’t even look at him but there was a disgusted look on her face when she said “Hello A-hole.” Chris laughed! “See, Heather isn’t the only one who thinks you are a hole!” With that Todd and Brent walked away.

Ronnie asked Chris a lot of questions “Do guys act like this around Heather all the time?” Come on, they were acting like this when you were here. Did you think it was going to change? It’s not her fault really. People want to talk to her. Get to know her. Maybe even try to steal her away from you. She’s solid though. She knows she wants to marry you. She talks about you all the time.” When Ronnie asked about Todd, Chris explained that he knew him from Catholic high school. “Todd thinks he is God’s gift to women and it totally pisses him off that Heather doesn’t faint or fall at his feet when he passes by. I don’t think he is really after her. She just bruises his ego.”

I piped in with “Guys don’t usually grab me like Todd did. Todd doesn’t usually grab me either.” Chris continued, “She handles it all pretty well. If a guy wont leave her alone one of us steps in. She’s fine so long as she doesn’t come here alone.” I asked “Why would I come here alone? It wouldn’t be any fun.

Ronnie squeezed me tightly and gave me such a long, lingering kiss. I was a little embarrassed but I knew he was trying to send out a message to every guy there ‘I was HIS girl. They may talk to me and maybe dance with me but no one, absolutely no one else was ever going to kiss me.’ My friends were a little uneasy sitting next to us while we were kissing. They looked away or shielded their eyes. Dizzy-D said “Get a room. Please!” She was a little upset that Brent wouldn’t come near our table. She wanted to get to know him better and hoped he would ask her out. Brent was the reason we tolerated Todd.

To give my friends a break from the Heather and Ronnie kissing fest I asked the girls if they wanted to accompany me to the ladies room? Ronnie didn’t want me to leave his lap but Dizzy-D grabbed my hand and said “She will be back.” Then sang “We got a meeting in the ladies room. We’ll be back real soon.” Reluctantly, Ronnie let me go.

In the ladies room Dizzy wanted to know why Brent wasn’t coming over to sit with us. Apparently she didn’t see what happened between Ronnie and Todd so I explained. Then she asked me to go talk to Brent and tell him it was ok for him to come to our table. “There is no way! I can’t go anywhere near him with Todd standing next to him all the time. Ronnie would totally Freak! And I don’t trust Todd. I don’t want to be within arms reach of him. He is being extra awful tonight.” Dizzy sulked but we moved on to discuss our plans to throw a surprise party for Ronnie before he has to go back to the Army.

We headed back to our table where we saw Ronnie and Todd standing about an inch apart from one another, fists clenched, staring each other down and yelling. I got between them, pushed them apart and put my arms around Ronnie. I didn’t ask what happened. I could only imagine that Todd came over to provoke Ronnie and he was succeeding. I said to Ronnie “Let’s just leave.” “I’m not going anywhere. He should leave.” I smiled up at him and said “I would like some alone time with the man I am going to marry.” Then I laid my head against his chest. He unclenched his fists, put his arms around me then kissed me hard. Todd was once again walking away angry.

Ronnie and I drove up to the overlook on Gambrel Mountain. He was pretty quiet until we were almost there then he exploded. “What’s going on?! I haven’t been gone that long and look what I come back to?! Guys all over you! I can’t watch over you when I am at the base!” He was yelling at me as if I did something wrong? I didn’t do anything wrong. Instead of feeling defensive and yelling back at him I started to cry quietly. “Heather? What is going on?!” I turned to face the passenger window because I didn’t want him to see me crying. I hate crying and hate it even more when someone sees me crying. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I don’t know what I did that was wrong. I haven’t done anything wrong.” He parked the car at the overlook then turned towards me “Something is going on or guys wouldn’t be grabbing you away from me!” “It’s not guys. It’s just one idiot. This never happened before now. No one grabs me. I tell everyone that I am engaged and how much I love you.”

Ronnie wasn’t letting up “You need to tell guys to back off.” Still facing the window I said “I do, if they don’t leave me alone I do tell them to back off. I don’t do anything to make guys come up to me. They just do and I tell them I’m already taken.” Then Ronnie laid down the law “Heather, if you talk to a guy he thinks he has a chance. If you smile in a guys direction, he thinks he has a chance.” Not really believing him I asked “What then? I’m not allowed to smile anymore? I shouldn’t talk to anyone any more?” “Heather, I don’t think you should dance with Patrick or Ray any more.” I turned around to face him because I couldn’t believe he said that. “Patrick and Ray are my friends! You know them. You know they don’t think like that about me. They are good guys.” Ronnie shook his head “When other guys at Players see you dancing and hugging on Patrick and Ray they think they can do that too.” “I can’t control what other people do or think. If they do think like that it doesn’t make it true. If a guy would come up and try that on me I would tell him to buzz off. Then they go away.” He was getting louder “That’s not the point! They shouldn’t be coming up to you! Does that Todd guy dance with you?” It was odd for Todd to be there “No. Actually, he doesn’t usually come to Players.” He couldn’t seem to stop firing questions at me “Where did you meet him then? He doesn’t go to TJ.” “At the mall. He works at a gym in the mall with Michael.” “Why were you at a gym with Michael?” “I wasn’t at the gym. Dizzy and I were at the mall, Michael was coming out of the gym for lunch. He said ‘Hi’ and he introduced Dizzy and me to Todd. See, I didn’t do anything. I didn’t even hug Michael or shake his hand or anything like you said to make Todd think he had a chance. I didn’t even say one word to Todd.”

At this point I was crying so hard I was choking. Ronnie gave out a sigh, put his arms around me. “Chris is right. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry. I just get so angry knowing that when I am so far away from you there is always going to be some guy like Todd trying to take you away from me.” I slid into his lap and put my arms around his shoulders and squeezed him tight. “No one can take me away from you. I’m Crazy for you. Only you.”

It was suppose to be a fun night out at Players but that didn’t happen. I thought we were going to make out at the overlook and that went completely wrong. It was time to call it night and take me home. When we were standing at my front door I didn’t want to let go of him. I wanted to stay snuggled up in his arms forever.

A Soldier Returns Home!

2008-07-21T08:36:00.000-07:00

The night finally came! It was time to go to the airport to pick up Ronnie!! His parents picked me up at my house and we made the long drive to the airport. On the way there my mind was on so many things…I cannot get married right now. I wanted to make his first homecoming memorable. I wanted the vision he had of running to me in the airport to happen in a way he would always treasure but not sure what to do. I should have worn something more festive instead of my black and white dress. No, the dress was the right choice since I will wear it in the portrait I will give him later. Did I bring enough film? I want so much to kiss him! Can I kiss him in front of his parents? Sure they expect it but would I be ok with it? I have to get “ok with it” because soldiers expect to be kissed when they come home, parents or no parents. Will he drive me to school in the morning? How soon will we get back home? How much time will we have tonight?

His parents noticed the silence in the backseat and it was going to be a long drive. “How is school going?” “So far so good. I am keeping up with all of my classes. English is the worst since they bumped me up to Honors classes. Seriously, there is no instruction. Mr. Hershey says Read This and Write a paper, 20 pages long, typed and in double space. What about the students who didn’t take typing? I feel sorry for them.” Mr. Leadore asked “So, what do you think of our soldier?” “He is doing very well! I knew he would. No matter what the job he always does really well.”

Mrs. Leadore turned around in her seat to face me when she said “I think it is wonderful that you and Ronnie are planning to get married.” I blushed so much that I was sure I stopped breathing for a minute. I took a deep breath and played with the skirt of dress then she said “I’m counting on you to bring my boy home. I think it is great that you are sticking this out with him. It’s not that I don’t like foreigners or anything but I would like him to marry a girl from home. Then we would know that he would always be around. He will always come back to you. I know he loves you and I hope you know by now that we love you too.” I was so overcome I didn’t know what to say. I played with my skirt a bit more, took another deep breath and on the brink of tears said “I couldn’t imagine my life ….without him.” I looked up and saw there were tears in her eyes but she was smiling so sweetly I knew they were happy tears. “Promise me one thing. Don’t run off and get married without letting me know. I want to be there.” With that she reached over the front seat and squeezed my hand. “If I weren’t strapped in this seatbelt I would hug you.” While still holding her hand I clicked off my seatbelt, put my arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. “I promise.”

Mr. Leadore was not about to sit in a car for the long drive with two crying women. “So, Heather, what kind of music do you like to listen to?” With that he started searching the radio stations. “I can listen to just about anything so long as it’s not banjo music.”

For the rest of the drive we chatted about things like the up coming space shuttle launch. How we hoped Ronnie was taking care of his knees. His old soccer injuries put him in the med unit once while in basic training, after a long march. I was terrified when he called me. He said he was fine but wanted to call to let me know before anyone called his parents. He knew they would call me and I would want to rush right out there to him. I did. I wanted to, but he wasn’t allowed visitors and I wasn’t a family member…yet. Mrs. Leadore assured me that if any “family only calls” she received she would let me know right away!

Absent mindedly I played with my engagement ring, twisting it around my finger. We were getting closer and closer to the airport. Finally! We were there. Mr. Leadore parked the car and we got out. Mrs. Leadore immediately clasped hands with me. We were so giddy with excitement we were almost skipping like school girls holding hands into the airport!

We had just made it to his gate just before his arrival. I had to resist the impulse to jump up and down. I was so excited and nervous I didn’t know how to keep my feet still or how I should be standing or where I should be standing. We agreed to play a little trick on him. Mr. and Mrs. Leadore would stand side by side and I would sort of hide behind them. I peeked between their shoulders to see if he was coming out yet. There he was! In his dress greens looking so sharp. Just as I spotted him I turned my back so he wouldn’t notice I was right behind his parents. Oh my! You should have seen the look on his face when he saw his parents. He was smiling but worried “Where’s Heather?” He shook hands with his Dad who said “Welcome home soldier.” While he was hugging his Mom I turned around. With one arm still hugging his Mom he reached out with the other and pulled me over to him. “Get over here You!” and he hugged me and swung me around while I giggled incisively. He stopped spinning me around but was still holding me off the ground. He kissed me then slid me down his body until my feet reached the ground. We both had forgotten we were in a crowded airport …with his Parents!!! When his Dad cleared his throat Ronnie held me at arms length while still not letting go of my hands “Let me look at you.” He spun me around once then said “Wow, you look GREAT!”

Mr. Leadore said “Let’s go get your bags.” Ronnie pulled me next to him and I was just about to let go of his hands when he said “Oh no you don’t. I’m not letting go of you.” We held hands all the way to baggage claim. He couldn’t stop staring at me. He even tripped on the escalator. “Oh it is SO GOOD to SEE YOU!” I was so excited and so happy I didn’t know what to say. I was still blushing from head to toe from when he first scooped me up in his arms. I was holding Ronnie’s hand! He was Right there next to me! This wasn’t a dream! He was REALLY here!!!

We reached the baggage claim area and he hugged his Mom again but only with one arm since he was still holding on to my hand. When he said he wasn’t going to let go he really meant it. Mr. Leadore went to get the car as we waited for Ronnie’s duffle bag to come through luggage claim. While we watched the conveyor belt he took hold of both of my hands and spun me around until my back was to him, his arms were crisscrossed in front of me and he was holding my hands. He nuzzled into my neck and rocked me back and forth. “Thank you for coming here to meet me. It wouldn’t be the same without you ” Oh my, he really knew how to make my knees go weak. I leaned back against him, I was putty in his arms. I was so relaxed and happy I had to keep reminding myself that we were in public. I just wanted to fall in to him completely.

Ronnie’s duffle bag came around and he picked it up in one swift movement. His Mom and I both looked at each other like “Oh MY! That is a huge bag and he did it without any effort at all.” He also did it without even letting go of my hand!

We waited maybe a minute or two at the door for Ronnie’s Dad then Ronnie asked his Mom to watch his bag “I need to go back in for a minute.” Ronnie pulled me back inside the airport running! We reached a somewhat empty corridor then he stopped suddenly. I didn’t know what he was looking for. Then he pushed me up against the wall while holding my hands above my head. He leaned his whole body against me and said “I. Love. You.” and …kissed… me. My legs went so weak he had to hold me up. He laughed and press himself against me more to keep me from sliding down to the floor. He kissed my neck which made my whole body tingle. He had me in such a daze I didn’t remember anything from that point up until we were all in the car and already on the highway home.

His parents were again in the front seat and Ronnie and I were in the back seat. He was talking to about the people had met and the things he did. His voice was so happy. I had never seen or heard him so happy. He held both of my hands the whole way home. At some points he was so excited about what he was saying he spoke with his hands, which meant my hands where flying around too. At one point he stopped talking, took a deep breath, leaned over the front seat and said “I apologize but you have to excuse me for a minute. He smacked the rearview mirror and his Mom looked down at the floor. Then he lurched over me and started kissing me!!! In the car! With his parents!!! Right there!! I soon felt like we were the only two people in the whole world. Then we came up for air. He fixed the mirror one handed since he was still holding on to me with the other hand. I would have died of embarrassment if it weren’t for the fact I was memorized by his kiss and confidence. His parents played it off like nothing had happened and the happy chatter resumed.

I didn’t know what the plans were for after we picked up Ronnie at the airport. I only knew I didn’t want to be anywhere he wasn’t. Before I knew it Ronnie’s Dad parked in front of my house. Huh? He just came back and I had to go home? It was so NOT fair! Ronnie walked me to my door like he had so many times before. This time it was a little different, “Um, Can we go inside?” Heck Yeah! I didn’t want him to leave my side! After we shut the front door Ronnie put one arm around my waist and one hand behind my neck and kissed me like his life depended on it. Just then my Mom came into the front room and in a surprised voice said “Oh, you’re home!” then ran back to the kitchen. Ronnie and I laughed! Then I said “Can’t I go home with you then you drive me back later?” While still holding me tightly he said “Heather, it is later. It is late and I promised to bring you home as soon as we got back. I will see you tomorrow My Love. Heather, you are my one and only love.” He took a deep breath then rubbed his cheek against mine and said “ I. LOVE. YOU.”

Ever so reluctantly we let go of each others hands and he left. Now how is a girl suppose to sleep after all that? It’s a good thing I didn’t fall asleep straight away. Ronnie called. “Sorry about your Mom seeing us kissing but I couldn’t help myself.” He told me about the great reception his sisters gave him. They were suppose to be asleep when he came home but they were too excited about his return. We talked on the phone for about an hour before our voices started to give out. Ronnie reluctantly gave in saying “I will let you sleep for now. I need to see you tomorrow and I want you awake.”

Before the Soldier Comes Home

2008-07-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

Ronnie was coming home on December 19th 1985. He said to his parents “If she isn’t in the airport. I am NOT getting off the plane.” After which he told me on the phone. “I’m serious. If you are not there, I’m not getting off that plane!” I was so excited about seeing him I couldn’t stop my heart from racing! Ronnie was coming home!!! I was going to see him. Face to Face! I was going to be IN his ARMS in just a few days!!! Even my friends were happier than I had seen them in weeks. I suppose the fact that I was walking on air instead of biting off heads or sulking had something to do with it.

Then I started to get nervous. He had said in many of his letters that he was counting on getting married when he came home. I thought he meant when he came home from the Army for good. Even Ronnie didn’t think he would come home before all of his training and A school was finished. I was still in high school, my parents had great plans for me. I had great plans for me. I couldn’t get married right now. I confided in my friends and bounced a few ideas of how to avoid getting married so soon.

I wrote to Ronnie explaining that it was too soon to get married. We were too young. I even quoted my parents “If we really love each other we will still love each other in a few years.” I even added on the phone “When we make it past my college it will be better for us.” He was not happy….”I said, we’ll talk about it when I get there.”

Hi Giggles,
How are you? 9 more days! I can’t wait until the 19th! I really need to talk to him face-to-face. He was really upset on the phone Sunday. He misunderstood my letters. Ronnie thinks I don’t want to marry him at all. Can you believe that? I do want to marry him so badly but right now it scares me. Everything is getting too serious and I feel like I am being forced to grow up too quickly. I want to have fun w/ Ronnie like we use to. Right now he talks only about getting married very soon and going to Germany. It’s okay to be serious but as long as it’s not total, I need a little fun. With him so far away it is hard on us, but that doesn’t mean we have to get married right away. We will still love each other in a few years.
I heard about Huggles, I wish I could help her some how. We all love her and care about her very much. Don’t let her be depressed - that’s what her Mom wants.
Hey what do you say about O.C. We have to find a place. I might have a car by then and I am not leaving it home!
Well, gotta go.
Love Ya Lots!
Cuddles

Heather
Loves T.L.A.
Ronnie
“LOTSA - LOTSA”

Letter to self 12/10/85
I have hurt too many. Ronnie’s letter tells me that his entire future rests on me. That is too much for me. Although he has never hurt me I am afraid. What if I hurt him?! I think of backing out, but pray that everything will work out in time….Time. What if it grows deeper for him and scares me more? It might hurt him more, I would never want to hurt him. On the other hand I can’t marry him just because I wouldn’t want to interrupt his dream. I do so love him but I can’t help thinking of the hurt and pain. I never want to make anyone feel that way again.
Why am I so confused? I can tell him anything. I know in my heart someday Ronnie will make a wonderful husband!

I was absolutely sure I wanted to marry Ronnie but only after high school and after I established my own career. Ronnie was the first guy to propose to me who thought it was a great idea that I have my own career. He was also the first guy to propose to me that I was actually in Love with! Oh my goodness, I was so in Love with him!

Before I met Ronnie I had been proposed to 9 times…well, 8 since one guy proposed twice in the same year. Yes, I was shocked each time due to my age. Of the 8 guys who had proposed 7 of them I had never even gone out on a date with. Most of them had known me since I was in 6th grade so they knew what they were asking for. Me, I was flattered but there was no way I was going to say Yes when I still had to figure out History, Physics and what a computer DOS could do. Most importantly, I never even considered going out with them let alone marriage. The 8th guy, was Jimmy and I still felt I was way too young and inexperienced in wifely duties to even consider him.

When Ronnie proposed he knew what he was getting into. He knew that I wanted to go to college and establish my own career. He did whittle me down to when I graduated from college to get married. He thought it would be a great idea for me to have not only a job but something that could really make me bloom as an individual. He didn’t care if I did volunteer work afterwards or if I brought in a small income. He did have one condition…that I be home when he came through the front door at the end of his work day. He definitely wanted to be the bread winner and he wanted my parents to know that I was well taken care of.

Being away from Ronnie for three months was hard on both of us because we missed each other so much!! I was willing to say “Ok, after I graduate from college we will get married.” On the phone and in his letters he was always pushing to get married ASAP! During his last phone call before coming home “Maybe when I get off the air plane we could have a priest there? My parents will already be there and people love a wedding so we could get a few people at the airport for witnesses.” Um, what happened to me at least finishing freaken High School?! Ok, I missed him terribly!!! I was even feeling like I was going nuts without him around. I would have agreed but getting a GED instead of my diploma? So NOT happening!

The Homecoming Dance

2008-07-18T22:38:00.000-07:00

I was asked by someone I knew and I was tickled to death! Someone was actually brave enough to ask me! I had an assigned date, Jim, Ronnie’s best friend but still. It was really nice to know that someone would have gone with me without having been assigned the duty. He knew all about Ronnie and he would get nothing out of it other than dancing with me. I decided it would be best to go to the dance with Jim. This way Ronnie’s mind would be put at ease and after all, Jim was a really nice guy. He was always nice to everyone, very polite, someone you wouldn’t mind introducing to your friends and family. He was cute too, the GQ type of guy. I told him he could dance with whomever he wanted at the dance. I felt a little guilty that he had to come to the dance with me. He assured me he would have had it no other way. I even offered to pay for everything but he said “Ronnie said to make sure it was an evening you wouldn’t forget and I had to do everything….well, most everything that he would do. Ronnie is an honorable guy and you are going to the dance with an honorable guy.”

We went to dinner and then the dance. The dance was great at first. We sat at the table with all of my friends. My friends all wanted to dance with Jim and he was so sweet he agreed so long as I didn’t want to dance. I told him over and over again that I didn’t mind. He was there to keep an eye on me but there was no reason he shouldn’t have some fun too. I kept imagining what the dance would have been like if Ronnie was there so Jim was sort of invisible to me. I wished I had been more attentive to him but I couldn’t get Ronnie off my mind. Jim was great. If I decided I was ok to dance he was up there with me and my friends. I even managed to dance a few slow dances. When they played Madonna’s - Crazy For You Jim danced with me and he didn’t even mind that I cried all over his suit. For the most part I staid at our table talking to all the friends who stopped by trying to keep my spirits up. Many of my cheerful table visitors I didn’t even know. My goodness I have truly wonderful friends and went to school with a lot of terrific people. I couldn’t wait to tell Ronnie about the dance and about how all the girls in the whole school wanted to dance to Jim. He was such a good sport that he danced with every girl that asked except for when he wasn’t dancing with me. He even posed with an uncharted number of girls for photos with girls he danced with and many he didn’t. The dance didn’t go on forever so he made up for it by having his photo taken with so many girls. He was treated like a Rock Star and I was very glad he was getting something out of going to the dance with me.

By the time of the dance I did receive the Surprise Ronnie sent me. It was a cute little white bear dressed in an Army Cami uniform holding a rose.

I wish I could find the photos from homecoming. It was a roaring 20s theme and we girls were all decked out in black. ME! White as can be, every so tiny, in a black flappers dress, two stands of pearls tied in a knot at my waist and wearing my mother’s long fur coat. There was a group photo taken at my house of all of us Angels lined up in a pose - slightly bent down with our hands on our left knee pursing our lips. I even pulled the fur coat down on my left shoulder. It was suppose to look sexy. Everyone else in the photo looked sexy but I look like I was about to fall asleep or really needed an aspirin. I need to get to work on finishing my parents basement so I can find that photo album!

Letter From My Soldier

2008-07-17T06:13:00.000-07:00

21Nove85
Heather,
How’s my Sweety doing? I hope she is just fine. We are in Phase II of Basic training now. That means we get more passes and guess what? We can use the phone any time we want to on our free time. Wow! I tried to call you tonight but you weren’t home. I called Gina instead. Our trip out to the field was alright. It was nice weather Sunday and Sunday night, but it rained Monday morning then it cleared up and was nice til Tuesday afternoon. Then it turned Cold and Windy. On Wednesday we packed up and left. Then we went to the Hand Grenade Range to qualify. I qualified as an expert (the highest you can get) I couldn’t believe my achievement. then today we went to the Live Fire range were they fire M60 machine guns over your head while you low crawl across a field. We got really muddy. The field had about 6 to 12 inches of water on it. Now tomorro we go to the bayonet course and we are done with the hard part of basic training. The rest of the two weeks will be review. One week from today is Thanksgiving. Word is that we get the whole day off to do what ever we want even go across post. We will be wearing our dress greens on Thanksgiving too! Happy Thanksgiving!! It not too long now, I’ll be home soon to see you. I can’t wait! I miss you so much! I love you Heather and I always will. You are my forever love! Just think we will be able to spend our 9 month anniversary together on Jan 1, 1986. I’m sending you or sent you some pictures of me in my dress greens.

I sent you 1 - 8x10
3 - wallets
1 - 3x5

I hope this is enough. I sent my Mom the rest. She got an 8x10 too so don’t worry. You can give Giggles one of the wallets because I owe her a picture of me because I never gave her my senior picture. Remember, If you need more pictures you can ask Mom she might have some extras. I also sent Mom the Platoon Picture, have her show it too you. Well I got to go now it’s late. I Love you so much! Heather You're the future Mrs. Ronald Leadore! No one else can or will take your place! I LOVE YOU NOW, FOREVER & ALWAYS!!! MISS You!

Ronnie

P.S. I hope you can read this. It is hard to write in bed.
Also send me some pictures!

Love Letters Home

2008-07-14T06:25:00.000-07:00

A few days later I received a letter. Yeah! Mail! Our mailman was VERY relieved.

Pvt. Ronald Leadore 1st Platoon
B Battery, 5th Training Battalion
Monday, 4 Nov 85

My Dearest Heather,

It is about 9:30 p.m. and lights are suppose to be out. But I got my flashlite on and are writing you a letter in bed. So if it is messy, now you’ll know why.

So, How is everything going with you? I hope you’re doing just fine. I miss you so much!! I can’t put into words how much I miss you. It is the worst pain I’ve ever gone through in my whole life. I want you to know that I love you and you only now and til the end of time. I’m going to be your lawfully wedded husband, and you my wife. I got your card for our Anniversary (7 months). That was so sweet. I knew you didn’t forget. Did you get my card and surprise that I sent you. I hope you like them. I thought they were so cute. Today I got my silver cross from Mom in the mail. Did she show it to you? It is really nice. I like it. She made a good choice. Mom knows best. I also got a letter from Angie today. I thought it was so sweet of her to send me a letter. Do you know what she said about you. Well this is what she said, word for word: “I really do hope you and Heather do get married because she is so sweet. I hope I will be like her when I grow up.” I was so touched to hear that from her. She right though. You are really sweet and loving person. And you’re mine, all mine. I sorry if I’m being selfish but I can’t help it. You are my Fiancé and I am going to marry you on April 1, 19_?_ at 2:00 o’clock. Heather, Don’t worry I do love you so very much. You mean everything to me. I wouldn’t make it if I didn’t know you would marry me when I come home. I got your 3 letters on Saturday. I read them while on 24 hour guard duty. That is where for 24 hours you rotate 2 hours guard 4 hours off. I have it again tomorro night. During my off time tomorro I’ll probably finish this letter to you. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! Mom said that you drove my car around the block once. How sweet. Did you see the Heart with Heather on it. Also, did you listen to the Madonna tape in the car. I wish I could have went around the block with you. I wish you were here with me right now. I miss you so much. I had to leave the room when I read your letters because I start crying. I know I’m being a baby but I can’t help it the girl whom I Love so dearly is so very far away. I miss you! Well I got to go now the Drill Sergeant just came in and caught me. He just told me to hurry up and finish and go to bed. I’m glad he was in a good mood or he would have made me do 100 push-ups or something. The other people in my room are laughing at me right now. Speaking of which, do you remember when I told you that one of my roommates was cool but the other one was a nerd. Well the nerd in our room is worse than Matt. I can’t barely stand him. He hardly ever takes a shower and even when he does he wears the same t-shirt and underwear for about a week or two. He never cleans his area and his bed always looks like Dodo! It always makes me and Brian, the other roommate, fail our inspections. He is a really weird guy. He has never listened to the radio. He doesn’t know any songs or nothing. Right now he is reading some religious pamphlet. I don’t even know what religion it is. He talks funny to, just imagine holding your nose closed while you talk and that is what his voice sounds like well I really better go for now before the Drill Sergeant comes back. Then I’ll really be in trouble. Heather my love, I will Love you now forever and always til the end of time. I miss you so much. Good Night and sweet dreams. Love you now, forever, and always, Ron. I’ll write more tommorro. O.K.

Tuesday, 5 Nov 85
Well I’m in my 24 hour guard duty right now, actually it is only 12 hours tonight. I have guard from 8 to 10 p.m. and from 2 to 4 a.m. The rest of the time is to sleep but I’m going to write you a letter. Your all I think about. Guess what I just tried to call you but you weren’t home. Your Mom said that you went out to the mall with Ray to spend your paychecks. I sorry. Did my mom call you Sunday and tell you that I called? I tried to call you about 3 times Sunday night from about 7 to 8 p.m. your time. Your Mom said you went to Giggles’ house. I bet you when Giggles got home her Mom said Ron called, Yeh! That was me I thought maybe I could get in touch with you at Giggles’. I want you to know that is the only reason I would ever call Giggles, only to talk to you. Well Giggles’ Mom said that she went to Players. So I went ahead and talked to my Mom for a good while. She knows that me and you are getting married. You did know that didn’t you. She thinks it is a great idea. Heather, I miss your voice. I wish I could get to talk to you soon. I’ll keep trying all this week but I’ll almost definitely call, unless something terrible happens, on Sundays from 6 to 8 p.m. your time. Sometimes maybe as late as 9 p.m. your time. I LOVE YOU NOW, FOREVER, AND ALWAYS!!!! I am going to marry you, Heather!

Last night I had the most wonderful dream. I slept so comfortably last night. I wish this dream would have never ended. Someday, April 1, 19_?_ I know this dream will come true. I dreamed that me and you were married and we had a really nice townhouse. It was perfect. Just like the ones we looked at and talked about. You were looking so beautiful. We were so happy. I remember I came home from work, I was dressed in an Army uniform. I drove up in a small red car, probably a Mazda RX-7. When I came in to the house you came running towards me and gave me a big hug and a kiss. I hug and kissed you back. We were so happy. You already had dinner on the table. It was stake and corn with wine and candles also. Then I remember we were cuddled on the couch in front of the fire place watching T.V. I remember you said it was a Friday and we both had off work the next day. I think we stayed up late and well, you know, we enjoyed ourselves. I know that this dream will come true someday. I LOVE YOU!!

I qualified with the M-16 rifle. I shot 27 out of 40 targets and got my marksmen badge. We get our dress green uniforms tomorrow. Wow! On Friday we go into the gas chamber. People say that it is Hell! You have your gas mask on for the first two minutes, this is to prove to us that the mask work. Then for the last 30 seconds you take your mask off and breath in tear gas, this is supposed to let us experience tear gas. I not looking forward to this. Today we went through the obstacle course for the first time. It was really fun. We are just over half way through basic training only 29 more days at Basic Training. I can’t wait to come home for Christmas though. I can’t wait to run through the airport to you and throw my arms around you and give you a great big hug. I still have a cold it is hard to get rid of it because the weather changes from hot to cold every day. The weather here is crazy. I’ll try to get rid of it before Christmas though. It rained all last week here they said it was the hurricane that came through Texas.

Heather, please don’t let anything happen to us. I Love You! Heather, I would never, ever let anything happen to us. We will spend the rest of our lives together and Love each other to the end of time. Heather, I couldn’t go on living life without you. You mean everything to me. God led us together and God will bring us closer together. We were meant for each other and some day soon everybody will know that after we are happily married. My Love for you grows stronger and stronger each day. It will never stop growing. Heather, I LOVE YOU!!!!

I’m glad you started a hope chest for us. I think that is so sweet. Anything that you can do for our future is great. You are my future. I want to please you for as long as I live and never, ever hurt you. We have a long, wonderful, life together ahead of us. I can’t wait to get it all started. (Well I guess it already has) The wedding plans that you put on the back of your letter were just fine. I like them. Maybe the date could be changed to a sooner date. We’ll have to talk about it. The sooner we’re married the less time we will spend apart. The children’s names you picked out are cute. These are the one’s I like best though:

Katie Marie Leadore
Joseph Allen Leadore
Patrick Anthony Leadore I like these!
Elizabeth Marie Leadore

What do you think about these:
Michael Anthony Leadore
Mark Anthony Leadore Let me know
James David Leadore what you think?
Christina Marie Leadore
Heather Ann Leadore

Heather, please don’t ever doubt that I Love You. I always will. Nothing will ever change that. I can’t wait till December 19th. I’m going to spend as much time possible with you. Where ever I go I want you to come with me. I’m going to be with you the whole time. I don’t need sleep when I’m with you. Maybe we could even have a small party at the Cozy.

I can understand you being jealous about me writing Giggles. I wont write her back anyway til she writes me. Don’t worry I don’t think I would believe it if she said some B.S. about you, I know your loyal to me. I trust you and you can trust me. Heather nothing will come between us, we will get married and live happily every after. I’ll never do anything to hurt you as long as you don’t hurt me. I LOVE YOU!!! I couldn’t make it through life without you. Thank you for the poem. I Love it. It looks nice right next to your picture. All the guys love it to. I read it all the time and look at your picture. Well I better go now I have to get some sleep tonight. I know I’ll dream about you. Heather You are my future wife and I LOVE YOU NOW, FOREVER AND ALWAYS!!!!! I miss you so much, Heather. Please wait for me. Good night and pleasant dreams.

Love You Now Forever & Always,

Love Your Future Husband,

Ronnie

Ron

Loves

Heather

P.S. Sorry If this is so messy.

High School Homecoming

2008-07-11T08:37:00.000-07:00

Saturday was the big Homecoming game between the Frederick High Cadets and the TJ Patriots. That means giant bonfire and pep rally Friday night. I picked up Giggles and we met the rest of the crew at the bonfire. The rest of us mingled, yes, even me. I wasn’t exactly in a good mood or anything. I was actually pleased with the fact I was civil, polite even, to everyone. By this time the whole school had learned not to mention Ronnie’s name around me, just incase I had not heard from him.

A football player, sorry cannot remember which one, gave me a few things to throw on to the bonfire. Apparently, only staff members are allowed to do this. When a teacher saw me throwing the small items into the flames she yelled and ran in our direction. The football player picked me up and we ran into the darkness where the teacher couldn’t see us. I was actually laughing! We hid out for a few minutes just to make sure we weren’t going to get caught. The football player was on an adrenaline rush and full of the school spirit. He talked so fast I couldn’t really understand what he was talking about. Maybe it was football lingo. Sorry, I don’t speak that language. After we were sure the coast was clear I made it back to my friends.

The rally started to loose its momentum so we decided to have a little extra fun at our rival school. Giggles, Val, Lori and I piled into my car. Just as we were about to leave Patrick leaned his head in my window and asked where we were off to. Val opened the back door and pulled him in. Whether he liked it or not he was apparently going with us…to Frederick High. Of course we couldn’t show up empty handed so we stopped by 7-11 to pick up two dozen eggs. The clerk, John, looked at us suspiciously so I added a half gallon of milk and a package of cheese. “We are going to make omelets.” “Sure it’s not for something ELSE?” “Come on John, you know me.” “Yes. I also know it’s the quite ones you have to watch out for.” We paid for our loot and off we went.

When we reached our rivals I had to circle around the school a few times. Their bonfire was pretty far away from any driving surface. I do throw like a girl so there was no way I could throw an egg far enough to actually have it land anywhere near anyone. Giggle solved that problem by hanging out the window and yelling “FREDERICK HIGH SUCKS! TJ RULES!” Oh poop! Here they COME! A whole crowd of Cadets were rushing towards MY CAR! As I drove away Giggles and Val threw eggs out the back windows and yelled derogatory remarks about our rivals. Some of the eggs actually BOUNCED instead of breaking! The Cadets picked up the unbroken eggs and hurled them back at us, but they missed which made us laugh even harder. Patrick was in the middle so he couldn’t really help. He was just stuck. Lori was up front in the passenger seat laughing her head off. I was trying to get off their school grounds as quick as I could! They couldn’t run very fast so the angry crowd gave up and went back to their bonfire.

Just as I was thinking we were out of the woods…a Jeep came off the grassy field and cut me off at the Frederick High gate entrance. Oh big poo! This Jeep was full of FOOTBALL players!! I stopped my car just in time to avoid smashing into their Jeep…and my car DIED of fright! Frantically I turned the key hoping and praying that the car would just Freaken Start! Oops, too late. The rival football players had already jumped off their Jeep and were pulling me out of my car through the driver’s window!! Patrick yelled “No! Don’t take her! Take Val!” as he pushed Val out the back door and made his way into the crowd of football players. He was trying to save me. Lori moved over to the drivers seat and kept trying to get the car to start. Val was beating her little fists on a football player who just stood there and laughed. Me, I was being held up above the heads of about five football players while Patrick pulled on one of my legs. I was a little scared but still I was laughing so hard my sides ached!

Just as they were about to put me in their Jeep “She’s cute, lets keep her.” Val realized she knew one of the guys. He wasn’t a football player. He was their mascot. Apparently they met at the Frederick Fair last month and got on really well. It was then decided that since Val was a friend of his they had to let me go. They even helped me get my car started. When I was safely back in the car with the doors locked one of the Football players leaned in and asked me “So, do you have a boyfriend?” “Ah, yeah. Yes. I do. Hey I’m a TJ girl. Don’t be ridiculous, I couldn’t go out with you.” As soon as the words left my mouth Lori slammed her foot on the gas and we were outta there! “What were you thinking?! Did you want them to start all over again?” I laughed and said “No! Just, wow. What an idiot. We just threw eggs at them. We are from TJ and he hits on me? What’s up with that?” We returned to our own school full of high spirits and told everyone of our adventure behind enemy lines. Finally, I felt like the fog was lifting and I was actually having FUN!

The next day was the big game! Giggles and I were a little nervous about arriving since this year the game was being held at Frederick High…their home turf. Thank goodness Giggles was driving. There was NO WAY I was bringing my car back to that school. Val, Giggles and I were worried that the football players would recognize us and tell everyone it was us who threw the eggs last night. Maybe they wouldn’t recognize us. They will be on the other side of the field and playing football after all.

Wouldn’t you know it, the universe was going to mess with us. Just as we walked through the entrance to the football field to pay for our tickets…my feet left the ground! A group of Cadet football players, the same guys from last night, scooped me off my feet. The mascot was there and he chatted with Val while I pleaded to be put down. Other TJ students were in line to get tickets and they said “Put her down! She’s a Patriot! She’s on our side, NOT yours!” Then I heard a familiar voice coming from behind our tangled little group. It was familiar but not in a way that made me feel good. “Give her to me.” It was Jimmy. I grabbed the jersey of one of the players and “Don’t you dare. Not him. Please. Just put me down.” As soon as they put me down Giggles said “I’m done with this. Let’s go get our seats” and she left me there with all those Cadet guys! AND Jimmy. One of the football players said “So, how do you know Jim?” Before I could speak Jimmy said “We use to go out.” I don’t think they believed him. I was going to let it stay like that but one of Jimmy’s buddies backed him up. “Hey, I thought you wouldn’t go out with a Cadet?” I smiled and said “He’s the reason I wouldn’t ever do it again.” The football players laughed then left

Jimmy said “Don’t go away. I’ll be right back”. Billy and Jimmy’s other friend (cannot remember his name but he was an over sexed Italian guy) were instructed “Don’t let her go anywhere.” As soon as Jimmy was out of sight I tried to walk away but these guys were not about to let that happen. “Come on Billy. Whatever he has to say can wait until after the game.” I showed him my ring and explained that I was engaged. Nothing was going to come out of talking with Jimmy. Nope, not even Billy was going to budge. So there I was stuck in a corner with my “guards.” A few minutes later Jimmy returned and the guards left. I couldn’t help but laugh! He had his face all painted - game face in his school colors.

Still, I was wondering how I was going to get away from him without causing a big scene. It couldn’t have gone any better if I had planned it. Just as Jimmy started talking, the TJ Band director walked through the gate and I called out his name and waved. As I walked past Jimmy I said “Don’t even think about trying to stop me. He is a teacher.” I skipped up to the band director and asked about what songs they will perform during half time and such. I am sure he was a little confused as to why I wanted to walk with him but he sort of got the hint when he looked back at Jimmy kicking the fence.

I reached the visitors bleachers and found my friends. “Thanks a lot for just leaving me there.” “You know we can’t stand Jimmy. We knew you would get out of it and here you are. What did he want?” “I have no clue. I didn’t stick around to find out.” Everyone was yelling and cheering all around us. It was a great feeling to be in the bleachers yelling and cheering along with them.

I had forgotten Jimmy was even there until just before half-time. I think he came over with their cheerleaders or mascot. After they did their little ditty about how FHS is better than TJHS Jimmy walked up to the front of the bleachers and said he had to talk to me after the game. “I’m engaged. There is nothing to talk about!” We back and forth with him saying I had to meet him after the game and me saying “No.” The crowd behind us was getting really annoyed that someone from the rival school was trying to get friendly with someone on our side. “You’re on the wrong side of the field duffus! Go get a Cadet girl. She’s not interested!” The whole ordeal had to be a little humiliating but hey, it was his own doing.

After the game we were leaving and not only did I have my friends with me but a bunch of my Guy Pals as well. Jimmy and two of his friends were waiting at the exit gate. Bender picked me up. “Good thinking. They cant grab her if she is already being carried.” Bender wasn’t exactly thrilled about being on my Guy Pal list so I was really surprised that he stepped in like he did.

Wait A Minute Mr. Postman

2008-07-09T11:47:00.001-07:00

While Ronnie was in basic training I went to school, work and even took a night school class once a week. The rest of the time I went out with my friends. Our senior year started, I should have felt like I was on top of the world but I missed Ronnie. I read the page he wrote in my year book over and over again. Before bed I would sit in my room listening to the radio remembering that I had danced with Ronnie to every song that came on. How it felt to be held in his arms. How he would smile when I looked up at him. The way he would pull me across the front seat of his car if he thought I was sitting too far away from him. The way he interlocked his fingers into mine when we held hands and kiss my hand periodically. Then I would cry myself to sleep.

A normal week day for me was to wake up, go to school, leave half day for work study at Montgomery Wards then go home. If I was off work I would rush home at lunch time to wait for the mail man. I would sit at the front window on mailbox watch. Waiting and waiting for the mail truck to turn our corner. Just as I thought I had the mailman’s routine down he changed it. Across the room was a window facing our back yard. While sitting at the front window I would steel a few glances at the back window. Eventually, I saw him turn off the street behind us which meant he was coming to our street! Yeah! Mail!

Then I watched in complete horror as he drove past our street and continued up the main street. I threw myself on the living room couch and yelled “WHERE IS HE GOING?!!”

My Mom came in the room laughing “It is lunch time. He needs to eat too you know.” Our poor mailman. I would spend the next hour pacing back and forth in the front room wishing horrid things upon him (to take place AFTER he delivered MY mail). The hour would pass by ever so slowly. Finally! Here he comes! I would rush out the door and watch him place each piece of mail in the mail box.

If there was a letter from Ronnie I would just toss the other mail on the couch as I ran upstairs to my room. I locked my door, laid down on my bed and read the letter three or four times. I had to read them over and over again because I might have missed a word here or there through my tears. The letters were few and far between. This upset me a great deal but my parents kept reminding me he is not off on vacation. He was being put through many rough, rigorous days and there was barely enough time for sleep let alone writing to a silly girl who wants to beat up the mailman. I waited and waited to hear from Ronnie and I tried to be patient.

Of course there were many days waiting by the mail box where I didn’t receive a letter. Poor mailman. The terrible looks I gave him were as though it was HIS fault. I knew it wasn’t his fault but I was upset and he was standing there.

Friday, November 1, 1985, Ronnie didn’t call and no letter in my mailbox. It was our anniversary and he didn’t even send a post card or anything! Sunday came and still no word from Ronnie. I was completely miserable. I gave up and went to Players with my friends. Did I mention I was miserable? When I finally stopped crying I became angry with the whole world.

As soon as I entered Players my friends all ran over to congratulate me “Happy Anniversary!!” and “What did Ronnie have to say? How is he doing?” To which I replied “Ronnie who?” Flic enthusiastically said “Ya know. Y’er sweetie! Y’er honey! Yer Loverboy.” It was a good thing Giggles got between Flic and I. Strangling her would not have solved anything. I plopped myself down in one of the chairs at our table and sobbed “I guess he stopped thinking about me. He doesn’t love me any more.” Huggles, K-Kay and Flic all tried to cheer me up with “Of course he loves you. Maybe they have him camping or something where there is no phone.” Giggles and Dizzy-D on the other hand were all “So what if he doesn’t? It’s not like it’s the end of the world or anything. Every time you break up with a guy there are at least five guys waiting in line to go out with you. Seriously, when was the last time you didn’t have a boyfriend?” Ok it was true that I was usually dating someone but it did feel like the world was coming to an end.

My friends did their best to cheer me up and got me up on the dance floor a few times. When a slow song came on I would just run to the bathroom. This way I could avoid anyone asking me to dance. Also, it gave me a place to cry. Those slow songs were love songs and made me think of Ronnie. Giggles said I couldn’t hide myself away from the world by running to the bathroom all the time so she made me stay put at the table during the next slow dance.

Sure enough some new guy came up and asked me to dance. I looked at my friends like “Are you freaken kidding me?!” I looked at the guy and very sweetly said I couldn’t dance with him because I have a boyfriend. Apparently that was ok with him. “We are engaged.” “That’s ok, it’s only one dance. Nothing else.” I looked to my friends for some back up but they were all smiles “Come on. He’s cute. He seems nice.” and “Are you sure you have a boyfriend.” Ok, maybe his friends were watching and what guy wants to be shot down in flames in front of his pals? So I went up on the dance floor with him. It was just a dance after all, right?

He was nice. He talked a lot, kept a respectable distance and didn’t try any funny business. He even tried to cheer me up. Then the second slow song came on and it was Madonna - Crazy For You. I couldn’t breath! My face was suddenly wet with tears. I RAN off the dance floor, snatched my purse of the table and made a mad dash for the door! In my hurry to get out I almost knocked down Ronnie’s sister Gina. She said hello or something but I was running to fast to hear what she said.

I got in to my car and started driving. How I managed to get out of that parking lot without hitting anything was just short of a miracle. I couldn’t see anything through all of my tears. I wanted them to stop, just long enough for me to get home. I hate crying! Hate it! Hate it! Hate it! Just then I heard someone honking their horn behind me. What a Jerk! Don’t mess with me right now! I looked in the rear view mirror and saw Gina hanging out the passenger side window waving wildly. Apparently she wanted me to pull over. I don’t know why I stopped the car but I did. Right in the middle of the road! They pulled over on the side of the road and Gina stepped out. I saw her coming towards my car so I got out. When she reached me she started to say something but instead of talking she hugged me and I cried hysterically.

When I became somewhat normal and could actually form real words, I asked if anyone at her house had heard from Ronnie recently. “Are you kidding? He always calls or writes you first. I was going to ask you if you had heard from him.” “No. I haven’t heard from him in awhile. It was our anniversary too and he didn’t even send a note or anything. Not one little word from him.” “I know. Remember, he is a guy. Even though he is my brother, I say give him a few more days. I am sure someone will hear from him. If we hear from him first we will call you. You have to do the same too. If you hear from him let us know he is ok and stuff.” Since I had calmed down quit a bit she asked me to come back to Players and we would all make a great night of it. She jokingly said “I’m not my brother but I would dance with you. If that helps.” It made me laugh. Still, I was worn out now and didn’t feel like going back to Players. I thanked her for talking to me and everything but I was going home.

When I got home my Mom told me that both Ronnie and his Mom called. “Oh GREAT! I finally stop waiting by the phone and he calls! I missed his call. I give up!” I stomped up the stairs to my room and crawled into bed with the phone. Just incase Ronnie tried to call again. He didn't.

Ronnie was apparently trying to live up to the promises he made to everyone that he would write to them. Even my friend Giggles! I was so jealous! Why did he write to her?! He had no business writing to her when he could be spending that time writing to me. Silly, I know but I was a tortured teenage soul. The Home Coming dance was just around the corner and Ronnie wasn’t able to come home.

Hi Cuddles,
How are you? I’m really good. I feel like a brand new person, thanks to you. Ronnie sent me a post card yesterday. I left it at home, but I’ll bring it tomorrow. Saturday I’m going to get the car and we’ll all go to the game. It starts at 2:00. I say we should get there between one and one-fifteen because they’ll be a lot of people there. If everything is okay with you now I want to go back to buddying around together. Well, I gotta go. I’ll see you in 3rd period.

Love lots,
Giggles

She got mail from My Ronnie?! I was giving our mailman the evil eye for days and she got mail? I didn’t feel like I was very important to Ronnie at that moment. I was actually fuming at the thought she got mail and I didn’t! After class we Angels were walking up the hallway in school together. Everyone was chatty and making plans for the game. I was to angry to speak. I heard Patrick (guy pal) running up behind us but I didn’t even turn around to look at him. Of all my guy pals he was the one who carried me to my classes the most. When I heard his voice right behind me I stopped dead in my tracks, my body stiffened, my hands clenched into fists then I said in a voice I had never heard before “Don’t. Touch. Me.” My friends backed away. Patrick was really surprised “Whoa. What gives?” He started to scoop me up but I turned around, my face in his and gave him a stare that would have made the devil himself go cold. Patrick took a few steps back and I started to walk ahead. My friends stood where they were and hugged poor Patrick. I was good bit ahead of them but I could still hear what they were saying. “She’ll be fine. Just whatever you do, don’t touch her. She’s moody. Totally moody.” Patrick asked why so they explained “She hasn’t heard from Ronnie in a while. He even missed their anniversary. He also wrote to Giggles.” Then Patrick said to Giggles “Oh, so is he your guy now?” I was so angry I couldn’t see straight!

That night I called Mrs. Leadore to see if they had heard from Ronnie today. “Not today. Did your Mom tell you he tried to call you a few times last night? Leanne called to say she got a letter.” I told her my friend Giggles got a post card. “He said he would call Sunday nights around 7 or 8.” Now I would have to wait a whole week! UGH! The thought of him writing to Leanne was a bit more than I could take. Who is she? She is the mean girl with a huge crush on Ronnie. The one who said mean things to me and Ronnie told her to back off. Why would he write to her? He didn’t think too much of her. He just sort of put up with her because they both worked at Murphy’s Mart. So, he was writing to a girl he doesn’t like and to his fiancé’s friend but not to his family, best friends or his fiancé.

I didn’t cry any more. I couldn’t, there were no more tears left in me. Instead I sort of just grew numb. This wasn’t very comforting to my family and friends but hey, at least I stopped biting people’s heads off for absolutely no reason at all. That had to give them some sort of relief.

I know Mrs. Leadore said Ronnie would call on Sundays but I couldn't make myself leave the house that night. What if he called and I was out again? I wasn't chancing it. A watched phone never rings. It was driving my Mom crazy. She tried and tried to get me out of the house for at least a little while. Nothing was going to get me out of the house that night.

My guy pals John (from band) and Patrick were a little concerned about my zombie attitude. “What happened to the happiest girl in the world. The one that was always smiling. The girl everyone wanted to hang out with. Going to school is always rough but just knowing we would see that beautiful bright smile really picked us up on bad days.” It was true, I was a super upbeat personality. Nothing got me down. I bounced through the hallways at school. I was the peppiest of the peppiest. Now I had become a zombie. Trolling through the hallways without expression. No determination other than to move from class to class and go home at the end of the day. I was just going through the motions. I even stopped going to my school clubs and PomPoms…forget it. Nothing mattered to me any more. I had to just face the fact that I might hear from Ronnie and I might not. There was absolutely nothing I could do about but wait.

A Soldier’s Girl Always Puts On A Smile

2008-07-08T01:27:00.000-07:00

Summer was over and the harsh reality of the Army was gaining on us fast. My parents reminded me over and over again that I was not to cry. I had to be brave and happy for him. “You don’t want him to remember the last time he saw you, you were crying. You want him to think of your pretty smiling face. You have such a pretty face.” The night before he left he met me at my house. Apparently, I had done something my parents were not pleased about and I was grounded. Grounded for the last night Ronnie would be here! It was SO not fair! Ok,they didn't know about the Cozy. They wanted to make sure we were not married the night before he went off to the Army. Everyone, especially my parents, knew how crazy we were about each other.

Ronnie came over for dinner. My family knew this was a special dinner for Ronnie and I so the first floor of the house was off limits to everyone but us. Yes, I was going to impress him with my cooking skills. I cooked steak, corn, mashed potatoes and biscuits. I made sure he did not see the mashed potatoes as I put far too much butter in them and it turned into a sort of weird looking soupy thing. The biscuits I forgot were in the oven until Ronnie asked “Is something on fire?” Ok, so my cooking wasn’t impressive but he enjoyed it all the same. He was such a good sport.

After dinner we sat in the living room talking and holding hands. Eventually I turned on the stereo and placed a small 45 record on the turn table…Madonna - Crazy For You. This is the song Ronnie picked out as “Our Song” just after we started dating. One night after picking me up from work he said we needed a song. I cannot remember what song I had picked out but really, I hadn’t thought about it as much as he had. Ronnie knew exactly what song should be “our song.” He thought about the night we met every time he heard ‘Crazy For You.’ It was perfect.

Since it was his last night I wanted to have one last slow dance with him. Halfway through the song he broke down in tears. I didn’t want to make him cry. I wanted him to have a happy memory of us dancing together to “our song”. We held each other on the couch for awhile then he said he had to go. I convinced my Dad that while Mom was out it would be ok if Ronnie and I went out for half an hour. “Okay, but you better be back here before your Mom gets home or we will both be in trouble.”

Ronnie was relieved that we would have some time alone together but not sure if it was really a good idea. I think my parents were secretly afraid we would run off to a Justice of the Peace and elope. Maybe that was why they changed my curfew. We did think about it once at the end of a date. Ronnie said he didn’t want leave me just yet. He couldn’t wait until we were married. Then we wouldn’t have to say good bye at the end of each night. The more we thought about it the more we were convinced those country road side Justice of the Peace must have been made up for movies. We couldn’t find one, not a one.

Since my Dad agreed to let us have 30 minutes together we went to a party behind the billboards where Ronnie’s friends were waiting for him. No matter who offered me a drink Ronnie was quick to shoo them away. Half an hour later, Ronnie had me home and was kissing me good night. He said “I will be kissing you good morning soon.” I blushed from head to toe! I knew he meant that he would be back in the morning but still, oh my! The way he said it.

Ronnie agreed to let me go with him to the recruiters office where the Army van would pick him up. I promised to be good and cheerful so he wouldn’t cry. I smiled, hugged him and kissed him several times then I smiled and waved as the green van drove away.

I went back home, back to bed and cried myself to sleep. Over the next few months crying myself to sleep became a habit. I tried to be upbeat and cheerful but there were so many places, things, songs and many little things that made me think of Ronnie and how my heart ached for him. My friends were growing tired of my mournful behavior and exhausted from trying to cheer me up. I could manage a smile now and then but it never lasted.

A Soldier’s Girl Has To Do Her Duty…

2008-07-07T06:44:00.000-07:00

Ronnie’s friends knew about him and the Army but my friends were just finding out about it. My friend Giggles in particular, was not all that optimistic. She was never afraid to be the one to bring crushing reality to any situation. She did try in her own way to be upbeat about the whole thing. Ronnie’s friends never said anything negative. If they did then they made sure not to say it in front of me. There was one person in particular who scared the heck out of me. Her name was Hattie, I believe she worked at Montgomery Wards in the Eatery restaurant. She was in fact from Hattie. She dressed in her home country clothing and we liked her a great deal. She always spoke to us as people and paid no attention to our young age. We even valued her opinion…until the day we told her Ronnie was going into the Army. She said “My pity is for your young hearts. Trust me. This will wretch your hearts out.” We never did see her again. I think we either avoided her or the restaurant closed.

Before the dreaded day of Ronnie leaving it seems our friends, both his and mine, had one particular question on their minds. Were we going to do anything in regards to, um, ‘consummating’ our engagement before he left. It’s true, we hadn’t done the ‘deed.’ Sure we were healthy, normal teenagers but our ‘parking’ only went so far as kissing. We would talk a little, kiss a lot, talk some more and kiss a lot more. It’s a wonder we never ran out of things to talk about. We talked on our dates, when we weren’t on a date we were on the phone talking to each other. We talked for hours and hours in the car, the mountains, falls, where ever we went. What can I say. We were good clean American teens. Did we want to? Oh YES! There was definitely HEAT between us, but we always stopped ourselves before we got out totally of hand.

I had this ideal that I was going to wait until I was married. I did not want to have that “Are you a virgin?” chat with the man I was going to marry and have to produce a list of guys. The way that conversation went with Ronnie was awkward enough. No there wasn’t a list, it was unsettling to discuss because I was uneasy talking about sex. People just weren’t suppose to talk about THAT. Hey, I was pretty young and not experience unlike my friends. Heck, it wasn’t just my friends. Every girl I knew in school was on the pill with the exception of myself.

Well, our helpful, wonderful friends made sure we had everything arranged. Giggles would pick me up from my house, drop me off at the mall where I would meet Ronnie. Ronnie’s friends made sure he booked a little room at the Cozy. We were engaged. We had to push forward. It was the natural course of life. A soldier cannot go off to the military without having one night with his fiancé. Right?

High school notes between Cuddles and Huggles….

9/19/85
Hey Huggles,

What’s up? Well I’ll tell you why I am so happy. This Friday is going to be fantastic! Okay, Ronnie reserved a cabin at the Cozy for Friday night.
He wanted one with a fireplace and a water bed, but it was booked until Oct. 15th (sad face drawing).

Anyway we do have a cabin and he is going to bring Champaign (and other alcohols) and his monopoly game. I don’t think I want to do anything just yet. It all sounds so romantic and it can still be even if we don’t do anything.

I heard Giggles found another guy.

Oh well, gotta go.

Love Ya Lots!
Cuddles

9/19/85
Cuddles,
What are you telling your Mom? When are we going to have the party? When is he leaving? I thought this was going to be the big night?! You are so lucky to have him, he’s so sweet to you.

Yeah, Giggles met another guy. I haven’t met any yet. But I haven’t been to the fair yet either, I hope I meet someone! We are going tonight, wish me luck - I’ll need it! I don’t know what is going on w/Craig he doesn’t seem to like me that much but he asks me for hugs - waits for me after class and looks for me all the time so I don’t know what to do. HELP!

Well - Good luck w/Friday and have a Great time and don’t let anything stop you if it feels right in your heart. I wuv you!

Huggles

P.S.
Are you aloud to stay there?
I hope you wont get in trouble.
Just tell the [Cozy] office the truth.

Ok, we made it to the Cozy. Ronnie had already picked up the key before he came to meet me at the mall. He carried me over the threshold as if we were just married. Then he gently placed my feet on the floor just inside the door. We kissed for a long time. Then what? Neither of us were sure what we should do next so we sat on the bed and watched a little T.V., played Monopoly, looked over the floor plans of the townhouses we toured and looked through magazines imagining how we would decorate our lovely little home. Basically, we planned out our future until the sun went down. Well, surely people didn’t actually do THAT sort of thing during day light. Right?

It was definitely dark now so we decided the next step would be to change into our night things. I grabbed my little over night bag and skipped into the bathroom to change. It didn’t take long to change but I had some difficulty bringing myself to open the door. I must have been in there for awhile. Ronnie knocked on the door and asked if I was ok. I said I was but in reality I was a bundle of nerves. I had no clue what I was suppose to do. The next time he knocked on the door he asked again if I was ok then said “If you’re not ready we don’t have to do this.” With that I sprayed myself with a bit of Love’s Baby Soft perfume and made a mad dash for the bed. In retrospect I thought “Why didn’t I let him change in the bathroom? That way I would have been safely under the covers when he came out.”

So, there we were. Me laying on one side of the bed with my hands clutching the covers which I pulled all the way up to my chin. I was trying to relax but it just wasn’t happening. It was obvious to both of us that maybe we should pop the cork on that Champaign. Yes, liquid courage. The night didn’t go as everyone expected. He was trying to be serious and I couldn’t stop giggling. Eventually, we decided we were happy to wait until it was really the right time. Like after we were married. I was so glad he didn’t want to rush me. There was no feeling of “I had to do this.” We realized it was the expectations of our friends that we make this move before we were married. With that we both relaxed and fell asleep in each others arms. It was wonderful waking up in his arms.

I had heard of a military tradition that is pretty much reserved for the wedding night but I thought it was romantic. After the first night the couple exchanges a gift for those times they are parted by military orders they will have something to hold. Something near and dear to your heart. Ronnie had already given me my engagement ring so I decided to give Ronnie my class ring.

After we changed into our regular clothes and packed up our over night bags we sneaked out of the room and made a mad dash for the car. We didn’t really do anything we shouldn’t but we still felt a little guilty.

Summer of '69..No, it was 1985

2008-07-03T13:53:00.000-07:00

That phrase he used when signing my year book, “I’ll understand if you want to cool things off while I’m in the ARMY because you probably would want to have fun with your friends and stuff like that.” brought up the same issue of “seeing other people.” I cried, again. This pain made me want to get some distance between us. I didn’t take any of his calls the rest of the day nor would I see him that night. He caught up with me at Players the next night. His friends convinced me to talk to him again. He said he didn’t mean it like that (the cooling off thing). He explained that everyone else thought it was selfish of him to make me put my life on hold while he went to the Army. “What about her Senior Prom? What about her Home Coming Dance? Who is going to go with her without pissing you off? You will be gone during all the things for her Senior year. What is she suppose to do? Skip it all? Most girls would have walked away. She loves you.” I assured him we would be fine without dating other people. I only wanted to be with him.

Over the summer Ronnie had a few jobs. He delivered pizza from the local Putt-Putt Golf center. One night while he was at work we girls were at Kay-Kay and Dizzy Ds house for a slumber party. Since we knew he was at work we decided it would be a great idea to order pizza from Putt-Putt. He had never been to their house before so we thought it would be a happy surprise for him. Ronnie is a pretty smart guy. He knew when the caller asked for him and only him that it must be a delivery to one of my friend’s houses. When we heard a knock at the door I threw it open and kissed him! I thought he would be surprised but as I said, he already knew.

I thought he was joking when he said “When I get off work at the end of the night I know right where to find you.” Sure enough, after work he came over for a little while. We talked in his car for an hour or so then Kay-Kay and Dizzy D’s Mom said I either had to go home or come inside. Besides, this was suppose to be a guy free night, girls only. I was obviously in clear violation of the girls only rule. Although my friends were very understanding they were getting a bit tired of us. We were a sickeningly sweet couple. When we were together nothing came between us. We were always holding hands and had our arms linked together. Really. We could nauseate people from two towns over, we were just too cute for words.

At first, I decided not to tell my friends about Ronnie going into the Army at the end of summer. I didn’t want anyone to break the dream world we were living in. I didn’t want to hear over and over again of how it would never work out. I was having enough trouble on my own trying to forget that he would be leaving at the end of summer. Ronnie did try to get out of going but the Army said there was no loop hole. You signed on the dotted line and you will report as required. Near the end of summer one of his friends did find a loop hole. If you were registered as a full time student in college you could get out of your enlistment. Unfortunately, this was not an option for Ronnie. We agreed not to talk about the Army and his upcoming departure but it seemed to have a way of creeping into our perfect summer world.

July came and so did my birthday. What Ronnie gave me for my birthday I would never have expected. We tried so hard not to think of the next few months to come never mind anything further into the future. Ronnie proposed. “This is a promise that I will come back to you. I couldn’t make it through my life not knowing you will always be there. We can‘t fight it. We were meant for each other.” It was a beautiful ruby heart ring with a diamond on each side. I was thrilled! I was so happy that we were starting to make a future together rather than apart. We no longer feared the future. “I had to dig a lot of ditches to get this one so try not to loose it.” I had lost his high school ring while he was in O.C during Senior week. I was devastated. I didn’t know how to tell him. He was disappointed about my loosing his ring. He could tell how upset it made me and he was oh so sweet about the whole thing. One of his summer jobs was actually digging ditches so he did work very hard to give me that ring. He wasn’t afraid to do what it took to save up his own money before heading off to the Army.

I made sure to introduce him to everyone one of my guy pals. If their names came up while he was away he would be sure to know exactly whom I was talking about and there was absolutely nothing between me or any of them. Ronnie seemed reassured by this and took this opportunity to let each and every one of my guy pals understand that I was His girl. He made his friends promise to take care of me too while he was gone. Jim was assigned my Home Coming date if Ronnie couldn’t make it.

Ronnie’s time was spread thin while making sure to see me, his friends and work to put away some money before he left. He decided to drive me too and from work every day so we could catch up and have a little time together on the nights he had plans with ‘the guys.’ Guys nights were not really much of a problem. I had a 10 o’clock curfew during the week and Ronnie always made sure I was home on time. He wanted to make sure I wouldn’t be grounded during his last summer home.

There were a few times he dropped me off straight from work on a guys night but I made him linger at my front door. Some nights I just had a hard time letting go. Every minute with him was golden. I knew how much he needed to see his friends but they would have him for the whole night. I just wanted a few minutes more. “Okay, one more kiss. Then I really have to go.” Before we realized it was 10 more minutes and then one of my parents would open the front door. “Curfew was 15 minutes ago young lady.” I didn’t see what the harm was, after all I was home. On Friday and Saturday nights my curfew was extended to 11 p.m. but for some reason as the time came closer to Ronnie’s departure to the Army, my parents decided 10 p.m. was late enough. Maybe they thought we would run off and elope.

Ronnie was always ready to pick me up and take me out day or night. No matter where we went Ronnie made sure he was holding my hand or holding me in his arms. If we were at Players and I danced, he was right there on the dance floor with me, be it a fast song or a slow dance. I tried not to dance too much as I knew he had problems with his knees from past soccer injuries. I was happy just sitting next to him holding hands. We usually only kissed when we were alone together but as his departure to the Army grew closer he was a bit more into public displays of affections. Ronnie suddenly started a new brave trend for us…kissing during the slow dances. Then there was the sweet short kisses as my guy pals came over and just before they left our table. Ok, maybe it was a bit over the top in regards to ‘she’s my girl’ …but I was so loving it. My love for him was so great that I stopped caring if anyone else saw just how much.

If we went to a party he held my hand and made sure never he never left my side. He made sure the guys kept their language clean around me and no of them got to close to me either. There was one incident where a girl, who graduated from my high school, said something not so nice to me. Everyone knew she had a huge crush on him. She couldn’t understand why he would pick some little bit of a girl like me over her. He told her flat out to back off or we would leave. She never said a mean thing to me again.

Everything that was happening was setting the stage for when he was away. He wanted to make sure when he came home I would be there. This assured me that he would not only come home but he would be coming back for me.

In preparation of his departure in to the Army, Ronnie decided that I should learn to drive his car. “ I want to make sure my car still works when I come back home. I wont trust just anyone with it. Just ask Jim and Matt if I have ever let them drive my car. My Mom wont go near it and it is too powerful for Gina.” I knew how to drive but his car had a pretty powerful engine. He wanted to make sure his car was driven a few times while he was away so he entrusted that task to me. This made me so happy. I was afraid of how powerful his car was but I just had to do this.

When I climbed into the drivers seat Ronnie had me adjust the mirrors and the seat. Poor Ronnie, his front seat was a bench so we had to work together to get the seat up far enough for my little feet to reach the pedals. In the process I banged his knees into the dash. I told him how sorry I was, gave him a few kisses and all was better.

Next I adjusted the dash lights. When Ronnie saw me touch dash light button he yelled “No! Don’t touch that one!” He explained that it really didn’t work. Then he looked at the dash and it was all lit up like it should be, even the radio dial. He was impressed.

I was so nervous that I forgot myself as I pressed down the gas petal in his driveway. I pushed it too far to fast and made tire marks on his parents driveway! I was mortified! The look on his face as he saw the tire marks behind us….well, he didn’t look pleased at all. Then he saw the expression of horror on my face and..he Laughed! “You might want to take it a little easy. Remember, this is a man’s car. Not your little car.”

We drove down the street and around his town a bit. When Ronnie was confident my driving ability he relaxed. Maybe a bit more than he should have. At first he stretched out stating that he has never been a passenger in his own car before. While waiting at a red light he decided to take the opportunity to tickle and kiss me. I lightly pushed him away, turned my nose up in an air of sophistication and half jokingly said “Stop right there Mr. You are distracting the driver. You don’t want me to wreck my fiancé’s car.”

As we drove up to the McDonalds on the golden mile we saw Ronnie’s friends in the parking lot. The amazed looks on their faces as they saw me in the drivers seat assured me that Ronnie had never let anyone drive his car. Ronnie waved from the passenger side and his friends ran up as I parked the car. He was hungry so we walked towards the McDonalds.

I jumped out of the car so fast that I forgot my purse. When I ran back to get it. I was so excited about his friends seeing me drive his car… I forgot about the rule of not using the passenger door. Opps. Oh well, I shut it and from then on it shut right. That was a fluke right? Ronnie and I decided to keep using just the driver’s side door just incase. The next night he jokingly said “My Dad is thinking of letting you drive his car. It has an oil leak. Maybe after you drive it…ya know, the oil leak will be fixed by your magical touch.” Apparently, he told his parents about the dash lights and passenger door.

Since our time was growing short Ronnie wanted to make sure we spent as much time together as possible. We even started going to church together. Sunday mornings, bright and early Ronnie would pick me up and take me to his church where we would meet up with the rest of his family. “Wow. You’re all dressed up. We’re just going to church.” In my family we always dressed for church. It didn’t occur to me that some, actually many, did not. Really, God doesn’t care what you wear as long as you keep the faith and show up. Still, it surprised me greatly when a men’s soccer team filed in to the pew in front of us. How did I know they were on a soccer team? Well, they were wearing their uniforms and from their muddy appearance they had just finished a game.

Ronnie actually started making real plans for when he came home from basic training. He talked with the local recruiter, Sergeant William (Bill) Powell, about how he could go from basic training to a recruiter aide here at home. They had talked a few times about delaying Ronnie’s enlistment or avoiding it all together because he didn’t want to leave me behind. Once Sergeant Powell assured him of the possibilities of being stationed in Frederick after Basic Training, Ronnie started house hunting. There were a few new townhouse developments going up and Ronnie took me on a few house tours. He described what we would be doing in every room of the house. He rated each house based on if he could picture me running to him as soon as he opened the front door. A few of them had three or four steps down from the main floor to the front door. “I don’t want you to trip on your way to me, just falling into my arms would be great.”

Walkersville Class of 1985

2008-07-01T11:01:00.001-07:00

May seemed to rush right by with Ronnie and I seeing each other every day. Now it was June. I remember sitting in the audience at Ronnie’s graduation with his Mom. I never cry at these sort of things but I was sure his Mom would so I brought a few tissues. His Mom grew teary eyed at the very start. It didn’t really hit me until two girls from the graduating class sang “Against All Odds”. As much as I wanted to keep it together for his Mom I just couldn’t hold back the tears. After the first few words were sung she and I looked at each other then we hugged and cried our eyes out. The verse that really killed us was “ And you coming back to me is against the odds and that's what I've got to face.” When the song was over she said “Don’t tell him I cried.” I said “I wont tell if you don’t.” After the ceremony we took pictures of Ronnie and his buddies in their caps and gowns. He and his parents insisted that I get in a few as well and I gladly took my place beside him as he wrapped his arms around me.

His little sister MaryAnn took the opportunity to tattle on his Mom and I “They cried like big balling babies.” His Mom and I looked at each other and laughed. Ok, so we didn’t tell on each other but our secret was out. He put his arms around both of us and gave us a great big squeeze. Then told us what silly girls we were which made all of us laugh.

The very last day of school we received our year books. How on earth can you have 50 of your very bestest-friends-ever sign your year book on the very last day of school? A half day at that? Many of the students were either on vacation or decided the last day was not worth going. In my view, Ronnie was at work and I was off for the day. Might as well see a few people for the last time before summer. Ok, I didn’t have 50 bestest-friends but I did like to see the looks on some peoples faces when I asked them to sign my year book. “Really? You want ME to sign your year book?! Oh! Sign mine too! Mine too!” It surprised me a great deal. Why would they be so ecstatic about signing my year book? I was just another girl they knew in school and they were always nice to me. Their reaction worried me. Was I in some way unkind to them during the school year?

Apparently I was nice to everyone. It didn’t matter to me what “clique” they belonged to, what their parents’ financial situation was or who liked or disliked them. Everyone was equal in my eyes as long as they were being nice. If they weren’t being nice I would tell them…and they would laugh at how “cute” I was. Since the beginning of my freshman year guys not only carried my books to class for me they carried me as well. I was a tiny bit of a thing so it was easily managed. Of course the faculty did not approve of this so it became sort of a game. Who could manage to get me all the way to my class without a faculty member insisting that I be put down. Immediately. I didn’t always have knowledge of who or when it was going to happen. I would be walking down the hall and suddenly swept off my feet, literally, by some guy. Sometimes I knew them and sometimes it was sort of an introduction. This was a good way to get on my guy pal list. Even though I would not date anyone from my own high school, my very lovely friends had no such rule. My guy pals could date one of my awesome friends but if it didn’t work out…ok when it didn’t work out they were not only minus one fabulous girl friend…they were usually out of the guy pal club too, depending on the manner of the breakup.

I didn’t see myself as one of the “popular kids” but I found out later that I was well liked by many. My sister still laughs at me to this day when I say “I wasn’t popular in high school.”

I reserved a whole page in the front of my year book for Ronnie. This is what he wrote.
It wasn’t perfect composition but I treasured it and read it over and over again.

“I know this page says reserved but I think it might be for me. So I’ll write from the bottom so nobody will notice it. I hope you can read this! Do you know that it will be almost 3 months since I met you. It surely doesn’t seem that long. These past three months have been some of the best in my life, and I mean it too. I hope the ARMY does not cause a problem for us. I mean I’ll understand if you want to cool things off while I’m in the ARMY because you probably would want to have fun with your friends and stuff like that. I know I’ll be busy so you don’t have to worry about me. I really hope though that we can make it through the army because you are very special to me and I think I might need you to help me through the ARMY. I know I can trust you while I’m away but I will sure miss you alot! It will be tough but I think our love for each will help us though the whole thing. You are a very special person to me, I LOVE YOU!!! I had fun in Ocean City but It just wasn’t complete without you there to share it with me. I thought about you every day, even when I was talking to other girls. But I had my friends there to help me through the whole thing. I better stop now and ask you if I can write here or not. I finish this later. O.K! Be back in a flash. Look on page 72, that’s my babe, and no one else’s! Well, I’m back to write more. I will be spreading myself out a lot over the summer between You, my friends, and hopefully a Job. This is my last summer before I go into the ARMY (only 2 ½ months) so I will be trying to spend as much time with you and my friends as possible. I hope you will understand it when I go over to Matt’s or do something with my friends, but I will still see you every day and hopefully go some places with you like the Falls, Mountains or just down to Lake Forest to walk through the mall. It’s hard for me because I want to be with you a lot before I go into the ARMY, but I also want to be with my friends some of the time. Hey you’re a senior now and you should be having fun with your friends also. Just don’t get into trouble, O.K.! This is going to be a tough summer for me so I hope you will bear with me so we can get through it with no problems. I want you to have fun next year in school like I did this year. Maybe I’ll be able to take some leave and come home for Prom and the Homecoming. Well your, here so I got to go. Stay sweet and lovable!!

LOVE YA ALWAYS! Ronnie Leadore ‘85 #7 WHS”

What’s on page 72? Here, a look at me back in high school.

Hey, don’t rag on my hair. Everyone who was anyone had “feathered” hair in my high school. When I look at this picture I see an average happy girl, nothing fantastic or extraordinary. I was not hot or sexy. I didn’t think I was the type guys would fight over or fall apart over. Just the girl next door. Apparently, I didn’t see what guys saw.

The Winding Road Ahead

2008-06-27T10:52:00.000-07:00

That thing he had to tell me...I signed up for the Army. I leave after this summer.” He said it but I didn’t really think I heard him correctly. The Army? He is leaving? Leaving soon? I never wanted to run more in my life! Had the car not been moving I would have bolted! I would have RAN all the way down the mountain, across all the towns, and all the way home! My whole body suddenly tensed up. My hand he was holding quickly went ice cold. I didn’t want him to touch me. I wanted him to let go! This couldn’t be right. He seemed so nice. So sweet. So wonderful. My mind was racing. Did he just say he was leaving? Was I just a little play thing for the summer? Was he hoping I would be some sort of last fling before going away in the Army? Was this what he was trying to tell me? How could he think that way of me? Of ME?! I thought he was Mr. Wonderful. A Knight in shining armor. And THIS is what he thought of me?

I couldn’t speak. All I could do was fight tears from escaping my watery eyes. I was thinking… “breath slowly. Don’t let him know he has cut your heart out. Just make it home. Just make it home. Don’t think about it.” I managed to slowly take my hand back and press myself against the passenger door. As far away from him as I could possibly get. I pretended to look out the window at the trees we were passing by. Then I noticed they were passing by faster and faster. I looked ahead and realized Ronnie was speeding down the winding mountain road! His face was so angry I didn’t know what to do! We nearly hit a car going the opposite direction! I grabbed hold of his arm and begged him to slow down! The tears I tried so hard to hold back were streaming down my face as I screamed for him to “Stop the car! Just Stop! You’re scaring me! STOP! Please! Please! Stop!”

We reached the bottom of the mountain and he finally stopped the car. I was crying frantically. He held me tightly, apologizing for scaring me and making me cry. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to have to tell you. The past few months have been the best of my life. I’m so sorry. I‘m so sorry.” I clung to him until I could catch my breath and regain some of my composure. With my face still buried in his shoulder and I was sure he had calmed down, I said so quietly, that I wasn’t sure I said anything at all “I want to go home. Please…Please. Take me home.”

During the twenty minute drive to my house I let him hold my hand. He said nothing. I said nothing. When we were close to my house I thought “This is the guy I have gone head over heels for and all he thinks of me is some summer fling? I wont see him again after tonight. I wont talk to him every again. I wont hear his voice… ever again. How could I have been so blind?” As soon as he pulled up beside my house I flung the passenger door open. I knew I wasn’t suppose to use that door but I just had to get away! My heart was breaking in to a million pieces and I want to get as far away from him as possible.

He quickly caught up to me as I reached the front steps. He tried to kiss me but I wouldn’t let him. He begged me to say something. “Say anything. I‘m sorry. I‘m so sorry.” I could tell he was crying as he gripped my arms tightly, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t even look at him. He pushed my chin up with his finger so I was facing him but I kept my eyes closed. I was on the brink of bursting into tears so I pushed him away, opened the door and ran up to my room. I heard the squeal of his tires as he drove away. I threw myself on my bed and cried. Oh how I cried. I cried until I was physically ill.

I woke up the next morning but I couldn’t manage to get out of bed. I just laid there. Thinking what an awful person I must seem from the outside for someone to think those things of me. Eventually I started to wonder if this was something other people thought of me? Why?! Why would anyone think that of me? I didn’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone. My Mother didn’t know what had happened but she tried to coax me out of bed with food. I didn’t want to eat anything. I felt like my life was over. If people actually thought that way about me I would just have to stay in my room. Forever.

Ronnie called half a dozen times and finally I agreed to talk to him. After racking my brain trying to think of what would make him or anyone think I was that kind of girl? Well, I wanted an answer. When I picked up the phone he spoke in a chocked up voice which made my eyes swell up with tears but I was determined to be calm. “Please don’t hang up on me. Please, please listen to what I have to say.” Silently choking back my own tears I waited to hear what he had to say. “I signed up for the Army before I met you. Before I knew you. If I had known that I would meet the most wonderful girl in the world I would have never joined up. I swear. {pausing to regain his voice} Meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened in my life. I knew… I know. I know, I should have told you sooner but I was being selfish. I was afraid of loosing you. Afraid you wouldn’t talk to me. Please. Don’t hate me. Please. Forgive me. You don’t even have to go out with me any more. Just please still talk to me. That’s all I need, is for you to say you will still talk to me.”

I paused to take a deep breath. I didn’t want to cry. Through sobbing breaths all I could manage was “So was I just a summer fling for you?” “No. No, Heather. You are not some fling for me. I didn’t know I was going to fall in love with you. I love you. I DO love you. I am so in love with you that it makes me crazy. I’m so crazy in love with you. That is why it hurt so much to tell you. About the Army and me. I don’t want to loose you.” I couldn’t speak at all. What if it was just a game? He didn’t sound like he was playing a game. He was really hurting. He was hurting just as much as I was. How could he be hurting like this? He was the one who made this choice. He knew about this the whole time.

“Please don’t shut me out. Everyone told me to tell you but I just couldn’t bring myself to. I wanted to keep you for myself. I wanted to spend time with you. Talking with you is like living in a dream. The Army doesn‘t matter. Nothing matters when I‘m with you. Everything in life is better because I am near you. I couldn‘t think of anything to do. To say. I enjoy our time together so much I didn‘t want to think about it ending.”

Still not knowing what to think I said nothing. I held my breath for a few minutes trying not to cry. I said nothing. Just listened. “Please give me another chance. Please still go out with me. {pause} You can still see other people.” In my mind that meant WE can still see other people and I went from upset to utter shock! He just said he loved me and now “We can see other people?!” While trying to keep it together I softly, half crying said “Well, you can see who ever you want. You can go out with a million girls before you head out to the Army. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.” I could hear him crying on the other end. I felt myself drifting away into an unfamiliar fog. I was growing numb. I took a deep breath, gathered courage that I never knew I had and said in the warmest, calmest ’there, there’ voice I use for toddlers in Sunday school….“You will be fine too. I need to wash my hair. I wish you all the best.” I could hear him saying “No! No! That’s not what I meant.” “Good bye Ronnie. I do wish you the very best of everything.” I hung up.

I was worn out by all my crying but I had resolved that I wasn’t going to stay in my room any more. Ok, I was off the phone so I told myself that I could have a few minutes more to cry in my room, then I would take my shower. Just as I was walking to the bathroom the door bell rang. I knew it wouldn’t be Ronnie since I just hung up the phone and he lived in the next town over. I hoped it was one of my friends so I could cry on their shoulder. I desperately needed a hug. I needed someone to hold on to, to comfort me and assure me that everything would be ok.

I ran down the stairs and flung open the door. There was Ronnie. Bowing and teary eyed at my front door with a large bouquet of pink roses. “Please. Don’t shut me out. I couldn’t stand it if you hated me.” I don’t know what came over me. Deep down inside I felt that he meant every word. I rushed to him and threw my arms around his neck. He held me and stroked my hair until I stopped crying. While sobbing into his shoulder and clinging tightly to him I said “I don’t want to see anyone else. I don’t want to see other guys. My heart doesn’t work that way. I just want to be with you.” Ronnie was crying too “Heather, believe me. I don’t want to see anyone else. There is no one else but you. I thought it was only fair to you, to let you see other people. I never meant to hurt you. I never want you to hurt, ever. I’m so sorry. Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I never want to let you go.” “Ronnie? Are you crying?” “No, no. It must be my allergies.” I tried to pull back just enough to see his face but he pulled me close, nuzzled into my neck and quietly said “never. let. go.”

Eventually, we both wiped our tears and smiled. We would make it through the summer. We both felt we couldn’t do anything else. We just had to be with each other. No matter what. Come what may…

There's Something I Need To Tell You...

2008-06-25T11:09:00.001-07:00

Ronnie was a senior which meant his classes were over and it was time for him and his pals to have Senior Week in Ocean City. In the mean time I was still a Junior so I still had classes to attend. He called me a few times from a pay phone while he was in Ocean City. Nothing but parties and girls in bikinis. “Girls wearing hardly anything are coming up to talk to me and all I can think of how much I want to see you.” It was so sweet of him to call and reassure me he wasn’t straying. My Mother didn’t think so much of his slurred calls after 10 p.m. His friends tried to keep his spirits up as it would only be a few more days until he saw me again. Everyone who knew Ronnie, knew he was being honest. He couldn’t help it. That is just the way he was.

Sometime between Senior week and Ronnie’s graduation we went to a Walkersville Senior party under a bridge near a cornfield. I remember sitting down next to Ronnie around a camp fire when one of his classmates walked up, shook his hand hardily and said something about wishing him luck and no matter where he was sent they would always be the best of friends. Ronnie quickly stopped him from saying anything more. I looked at Ronnie quizzically, expecting him to explain but he waved it off as though the guy had been drinking too much.

Although Ronnie and I went to many parties he made sure no one gave me anything but Sprite. He was not about to explain to my parents why I smelled like alcohol. A few people did manage to hand me a drink now and then but Ronnie always took it away before I even had a sip.

A few days later we were at his house in the middle of the day. Ronnie had to stop by his house to pick up something. After a quick run into the house he appeared back at the kitchen door apparently trying to get out before I could figure out what his Mom was arguing with him about. She was saying something on the lines of “You better tell her. It’s only fair. It’s the right thing to do.” He saw the look on my face, quickly shut the door with a “yeah, yeah, I know. I will.” I really had no idea what was going on. Ronnie got back into the car, smiled and kissed me so I thought nothing of it at the time and we rushed off to where ever we were going. Since it was the middle of the day it was likely we were heading out to Cunningham Falls or a park somewhere to meet either his friends or my friends.

One night Ronnie picked me up from work and instead of one of the many parties or gatherings of friends we went to Cunningham Falls. Just the two of us to watch the sunset. There was something he wanted to tell me. Well, he didn’t want to tell me but he knew he had to tell me. I tried to put him at ease by being silly but that just made him more uncomfortable and a bit angry. “I have to tell you this. Let me just say this. Let me get it out.” {pause for a big breath, shaking of his head and then another big breath} “I don’t know how I’m going to tell you.” With that I sort of slunk off to the opposite side of the front seat. He was never cross with me before and I was a little afraid of what he might say next. Was he going to say that he cannot see me again? Then, I remembered his Mom arguing with him. So there we were. He was about to drop a big bomb and I wanted to run. But I didn’t. I just sat there. Frozen.

He started to say something but his voice cracked. He turned on the car and started to drive down the mountain. He saw that I was afraid so he asked me to come closer so he could hold my hand. This didn’t look good. I was afraid but I really wanted him to hold my hand. I thought I would be safe if he just held my hand. He wouldn’t look at me so I turned to look at the winding road ahead…

Crazy For You ....Tired of the Soap Opera?

2008-06-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

This is not my usual posts to my blog but for the past three weeks straight I haven't been able to stop thinking about all of this. I believe if I write it all out maybe I can get back to the present.

Sometime soon I will write about my Vacation...hopefully this week.

Your Prom is on the same night as mine?!

2008-06-23T15:45:00.000-07:00

Prom

Well, time went on and prom was coming. Yes, Ronnie asked me to the prom! We met in April and the prom was in May. Not many days had passed but again this is teenage world. It felt like we had known each other forever. I picked out a dress at the local Casual Corner, put it on layaway and paid on it with my own paycheck each week. My Mom offered to make me a dress but after I saw the pattern she picked out. Well, lets just say I didn’t want to look exactly like Laura Ingles on Prom Night. I saw the cutest cotton woven flats so I bought them to go with my supper lacy dress. They came with cotton laces that were to be worn wrapped around your legs but I replaced them with pink satin ribbon. I didn’t need flats as Ronnie was taller than I. Finding any shoes to fit my size 4 feet that would match my dress proved to be a bit difficult.

My dress had big puffy short sleeves made of white lace hearts, the skirt alternated in pink and white satin panels with white lace hearts as an over skit. The most difficult item to find was a draw string hoop skirt or crinoline slip with a small enough waist! I was only 98 pounds. I picked Casual Corner since at that time not many stores offered the “We only sell one dress for each school during prom season. We want you to be the only girl at your Prom with your dress.” My mother did have to take the dress in quit a bit. It was a size 4 but it was still way to big for me before the alterations.

“What? Your Prom is on the same night as mine?!” We decided it was possible to attend both proms. We would make it work…some how.

The night of prom Ronnie was running late so his Mom called to say not to worry, he was on his way. A few minutes later he arrived and my parents took photos. The corsage Ronnie picked out for me was made of pink roses. I loved the smell and from that day on pink roses became my favorite flower. After my parents took a million photos of us we were ready to head over to his parents house for another round of camera flashes.

I was a little surprised that Ronnie didn’t bring his own car with him. To me the car did not matter. I was thrilled to be going to the prom with my Knight. He explained there was a bee in his car so he had to use his Mom’s car, a Dodge Dart, to pick me up. Ronnie knew I was deathly afraid of bees. He assured me over and over again that we would take his car to the prom after he was sure the bee is removed. I didn’t care if we walked to the prom, I was going with Ronnie and I was the happiest girl in the world.

We arrived at Ronnie’s house and his Mom was all teary eyed. She loved my dress and admired my very large corsage. Soon Ronnie’s best friends, Jim Puhl and Matt came over with their prom dates. I was surprised to see that their dates were from my high school as well. Karen Line was Jim’s date and Matt’s date was a sophomore I had seen from time to time. I was even more surprised when the sophomore took off her wrap. She was wearing the same dress! We had the same exact dress on! Not only would there be another girl at my prom with the same dress but she will be at the same table at dinner, BOTH proms AND she was a sophomore. Ok, none of that should matter but I did buy my dress at Casual Corner for a reason. Apparently, she purchased her dress in the next state trying to avoid the same issue. I tried to be cheerful about the “happy” coincidence but Ronnie and his mother realized this was an unfortunate incident and each assured me that it looked far better on me. I didn’t wear mine with the neck line pulled down around my shoulders. My Mom also added a satin sash around the waist (to hid all the adjustments to the waist).

After we were all officially blinded by camera flashes, Ronnie and I hugged and kissed his Mom. Arms linked together each couple headed out the door to dinner at The Bull restaurant on Market Street in downtown Frederick. We girls looked over the menus and each decided on the chicken. The boys each made some sort of groaning noise. Ronnie was the first to say “Chicken? Why chicken? That is the cheapest thing on the menu. You can have anything you want. We can afford it!” We girls glanced around at each other and still said “Chicken.” Ronnie made it clear that his prom date was not going to eat chicken for dinner. Finally, I spoke up. “Well, I know what the chicken is. The rest of this, well… I don’t want to end up with snails or something gross.” Ronnie laughed! When he finally caught his breath he went over the menu with me and told me what each item was. This is the night I discovered Filet Minong. At this point I was slowly realizing that I had lead a very sheltered life. My goodness I still hugged and kissed my parents when I came in and when I left the house. Ronnie also did this and he was a senior but he knew what all the items on the menu were.

We went to the Walkersville Prom first as the boys were Seniors, then we headed over for the last bit of Governor Thomas Johnson Prom. Ronnie said how sorry he was that we spent so much time at his prom but I completely understood. It was his Senior Prom after all. I only wanted to make an appearance at my Prom with my Knight, show him off a bit on the dance floor then leave. I do have to say that Ronnie took very good care of me at his prom. I only knew a hand full of people who went to Walkersville High School and very few of them were at the prom. Ronnie made sure I was always by his side and introduced me with great pleasure to his friends. You could tell everyone liked Ronnie , not only by the way they greeted him. It showed even in how they greeted me. They gave me such a warm welcome despite the fact I was from a rival school.

The enviable happened while at our Prom. Karen and I couldn’t wait any longer…we had to use the ladies room. If you have seen the movie 27 Dresses you know how big ballroom/ wedding dresses and bathroom situations work. Someone you trust has to hold the masses of your skirt. My dress was the big puffy type. Karen was a real dear and helped me out. Unfortunately, Karen’s dress was a very sleek, form fitting dress which did look absolutely fabulous on her. The problem was, well, I couldn’t help her in the same way. She had to actually take her dress off in order to use the facilities. I did hold her dress on the other side of the stall, to save it from touching the bathroom floor. From that day forward I never wore a form fitting gown for two reasons…one I was far to itty bitty and second, I really didn’t want to be nekkid in the ladies room.

After both proms were over Jim and Ronnie took Karen and I over to Jim’s house to wait for the sunrise. The boys explained it was tradition to watch the sunrise before going home after the Prom. So we waited for sunrise in Jim’s paneled basement listening to the guys tell us jokes and entertain us with stories of their youth together.

Karen and I were a little apprehensive about staying all night with the guys. Not that they had done anything for us to think they were bad boys, just the thought of being alone with boys. All. Night. Long. We made a pact not to be out of each other’s sight for even a moment. Yes, they tried once or twice but didn’t push the issue when they saw us grasp each others hands tightly. They then realized there was a girl pact in place.

After we watched the sunrise Ronnie took me home. My make up was in desperate need of repair, my delicate shoes were ruined by the dewy grass and my hair was wind blown. Still, as I sat next to him, my arm wrapped around his free arm, our fingers entwined and my head on resting on his shoulder, I felt like a Princess riding off with her Prince. He walked me to my door and ever so graciously bowed, kissed my hand. With one swift movement he dipped me looked in to my eyes then kissed me, Wow! What a kiss! Just as I thought he was going to walk away he grasped my hand, pulled me close then kissed me again. I was exhausted from dancing and lack of sleep but not quit ready to fall asleep. My head was spinning. I hung up my dress and tried to remember every detail of the night. Especially that kiss. Oh my. He really knew how to make my knees weak.

I want you to meet someone

2008-06-22T02:43:00.000-07:00

A few days later Ronnie picked me up in the afternoon. He was so happy. I remember he was smiling just a bit too much so I asked him where he was taking me. “To lunch. At my house.” Okay, did that smile mean we were going to be alone in his house? I was getting a little nervous. I was afraid I wouldn’t know how to act and my idea of a pleasant afternoon was not saying “No, no.no.Stop!” for an hour or so. I had heard stories about what guys wanted when you were alone with them. I have even slapped a few guys in our front room with my parents close by in the next room.

Well, I asked him what was with the permanent smile. “I want you to meet my Mom.” What?! Meet his mother? I left my make up at home! I couldn’t find my hair brush in my purse and my hair was whipping around in the car due to the windows being down. I begged him to take me home so I could change into something nicer. I didn’t want to meet his Mom for the first time looking like, like…THIS! He laughed and told me that I had to get use to the idea, she was going to see me just as I was. “You look fine. I swear! She will love you. I just know it.” He saw the doubtful and pouty expression on my face then said “Well, if she doesn’t then I will just disown her.” Ok that made me laugh but I was still a bundle of nerves. I don’t remember exactly what I was wearing but for my usual every day attire, you could find me wearing a pair of white canvas Keds tennis shoes, light blue jeans and a long sleeved white cotton blouse. Yes, even in the summer. I was self conscious about my arms. I was very fair skinned and thin.

When we reached his house I tried to convince him to let me just stay in the car and do this another day. He laughed as he pulled me out of the car. I was so nervous I walked like a stiff mannequin. He had to practically drag me up to the kitchen door. He stepped into the kitchen but my feet were firmly planted in the carport cement. I heard his Mom let out a little scream as she was surprised to see him home. Apparently, he didn’t tell her about his plans for us to meet either. “Mom, I want you to meet someone.” With that he gave one quick, hard tug and I was pulled from the carport into the kitchen.

She let out another little scream as her hands clasped the sides of her face. “Ronnie! I can’t believe you would do this to me!” She was smiling from ear to ear and her words came out as laughter. “I look a mess! Really, I don’t always look like this. Honestly. Why didn’t you tell me?! Well, come in, come in.” The warm glow of her smile made me like her immediately. She held out her hand to shake mine but I wanted to hug her instead. So I did. She seemed really pleased with this greeting and started talking as though she had known me forever. I told her that he ambushed me as well and we all had a good laugh.

She had us stay for lunch, tomato soup. When asked why I wasn’t eating I explained that I was waiting for it to cool off a little. Ronnie took one of the ice cubes out of his glass and dropped it in my bowl of soup! “Why did you do that to my soup?!” I had never seen anyone put ice in soup before. Ronnie and his Mom laughed. She asked me, “What do you do to cool off hot soup?” I thought everyone did it the same way so I didn’t hesitate when I said “We pour a little cold milk in it.” Another round of laughter but Mrs. Leadore assured me many people do a great many things differently. “You learn something new every day.” She was wonderful, bubbly and really put me at ease. I could see where Ronnie got his calming effect from.

Then there came the usual questions…Where are you from? - “The East Coast. I am a Navy Brat. I was born in Puerto Rico.” Is your Mom from there? “No, she is from Scotland. They had a whirl wind dating process and after two weeks decided they were destined to be together.” How are you liking the schools here? - “It is always an adjustment but this is the first time I have encountered so many people who have lived in the same place all of their lives.”

Ronnie’s little sister MaryAnn was so cute you just wanted to pick her up, put her in your pocket and keep her forever and ever. This little blonde cutie with her wavy pony tails climbed right up in Ronnie’s lap. He tickled her until she slid down his leg and on to the floor. She clung to his leg for a few minutes. He was so wonderful with her that you could see how much they loved each other. “I’m going to marry Ronnie some day. He is the best boy ever.” His second oldest sister, Angie, came in carrying books and had the ease of speaking like a grown woman. She very politely said hello to me then started talking about summer programs that would expand her mind. Then there was Gina, the oldest daughter. She was trying to grow up and her Mom wanted her to stay a little girl. Gina always had on some wonderfully fashionable outfit. Mrs. Leadore mentioned something about her outfit and Ronnie sort of rolled his eyes as if this was a never ending battle between the two. Gina gave a blank statement about her outfit and how most girls her age were wearing very revealing clothing and her’s was far from that. She gave me a hug then sat down at the table next me. Everything she wore looked cutting edge. I also met their dog, Sandy. She was a beautiful, golden cocker spaniel but my goodness her bark sounded like she would tear you limb from limb. Everyone laughed as I pulled my feet up in fear. It turned that out she was a really sweet old gal. Then it was time to go.

I thanked Mrs. Leadore for lunch and gave her big hug before we left. On our way to Ronnie‘s car he said “See, it wasn’t that bad now was it? I told you she would like you. I just knew you two would get along right away.” He was right. Later that night on the phone he told me that his Mom really liked me. “She told Dad that you were such a tiny little thing, so cute, sweet and polite. She also thinks you have the biggest most beautiful brown eyes. I have to agree. I love your eyes.”

Transitions

2008-06-13T13:36:00.000-07:00

Ronnie called me nearly every evening from then on. The week pasted by slowly. The weekend seemed like it would never get here! After nightly phone calls Ronnie asked if he could come over. I quickly agreed. It was all set. He would come over Saturday afternoon.

Remember Jimmy? The boyfriend I broke up with the previous weekend? I had instructed my mother to say I was out if he called. Well, Jimmy did call quite a few times too. My Mom felt sorry for him so the next time he called she said I had to talk with him. We talked. I told him it was all for the best and how getting married so young scared me. He agreed to back off on the subject of marriage but ten minutes later he mentioned something about what our future would be like. He even had the church for our wedding picked out! I was trying to let him down easy but enough is enough. I told him I had to go, wished him all the best in life and I hung up.

Do you know that rule about hanging up on people? The rule is that you should NEVER hang up on someone. Especially a guy. A guy who wants to get back together with you.

I went about my day with great anticipation. Ronnie was coming over! I was going to see him again! I could hardly wait. I must have brushed my hair a million times.

What seemed like an eternity later … the door bell rang and ran to the door! “I got it!” I didn’t even look out the window before opening the door. My whole face dropped. My heart almost stopped. No, it wasn’t Ronnie. It was Jimmy and his friend Billy. Jimmy came to beg me to take him back. Instead of inviting him in I sat him down on the front steps to talk, hoping all the while he would leave before Ronnie comes over.

Jimmy asked “Did you do it because there is someone else?” No, that wasn’t the reason. I broke up with Jimmy two days before I met Ronnie. I had no interest in meeting or dating anyone when we broke up. Ronnie just swept me off my feet. Ok, two days is not a long time grieve over a break up but I wasn’t exactly upset about the break up. True, we dated for a year but I was only 16 years old! At that time of my life waiting 2 minutes for one of my siblings to get off the phone was an eternity. So, two days was more than an enough time to say it was over in teenage girl world. Sad isn’t it?

Ok, so there we were on my front porch steps, Jimmy, Billy and me. Then the unthinkable happened. Ronnie drove up. The look on his face as he walked towards us said he was not happy. Before he reached us Jimmy asked “Who is this guy? Is this the guy you dumped me for?” I don’t remember what I said but it might have been something like he was a friend of my brother’s and if I started to cry he would beat the tar out of you then ask questions later. Given the muscle looking car Ronnie was driving this seemed feasible. Jimmy left in a huff squealing his wheels but at least he left.

Ronnie reached the front steps and asked who that was and if I was ok. I said I was ok but I am sure I didn’t look like I was ok. My face could not hide how I felt. I don’t remember if I told Ronnie that Jimmy was an ex-boyfriend trying to get me back or if I played it safe and said he was one of my brother’s friends.

Yeah, that was a REALLY awkward moment in my life but later I would find out it was not to be the last nor the most awkward moment of my life.

Ronnie wasn’t staying long as he did have to work that day. He just wanted to stop by, say hello and give me a flower. How sweet! I also had to work later that day. This was all brand new and I really didn’t know this guy yet. Due to this I decided not to invite him in to my house. Instead I played it safe by taking a little walk just up the street and back. We chatted about school, work, and things we liked to do in our spare time.

Not only did I work in the catalog section of Montgomery Wards, I was transitioning to the Credit Card payment center and the cash office. At the end of the night all the cashiers would bring their register bags to me and then they could leave. I, on the other hand, had to stay in lock-down with the rest of the Cash Office crew until ever register was balanced to the penny. Eventually, we found the missing penny/nickel/whatever and were free to go home. This sometimes took a few hours which meant it was pretty late when I walked to my car in the nearly deserted parking lot. Even though I was not completely alone and my co-workers did wait to see me safely in my car before leaving themselves…I was still a bit afraid. That night Ronnie happily surprised me by waiting at my car! My co-worker, who had never seen him before, were about to call the police! “No! It’s ok. I know him. Really, I do.”

He asked if I wanted to grab something to eat or just go somewhere and talk. Part of me really wanted to go with him but another part of me didn’t want to have my keys taken away for coming home late. We stood beside my car and talked for a few minutes. He wanted to know if I would be at Players the next night and if I would save him a few dances. Of course I was going, my friends I went every Sunday night. As for saving the dances, I was sort of hoping to dance all the slow dances with him. Oh well, maybe he didn’t want all of my slow dances. He said he would call me tomorrow as he helped me into my car. I smiled and waved as I drove away. I sighed and thought how nice it was of him to be there, standing at my car. For once I didn’t have to rush to my car late at night, afraid.

Sunday night, after much primping, prodding, trying on each others clothes, over heating curling irons, a dab here and there of Dep gel and so on… my girl friends and I were finally ready. We all piled into one car and headed out to Players. We liked to get there early before the line started as this was the only way to secure a table.

Ronnie and his friends sat at a table next to ours so we could chat. A few of my friends were interested in his friends but the feeling was not mutual. Oh well, Ronnie and I were happy so they had to at least be polite to each other. Even though our friends bumped heads many times they thought Ronnie and I were a perfect couple. All of my slow dances were saved just for Ronnie. I didn’t want to dance with anyone else.

After that night at Players Ronnie deiced to ask me out on a date. Not meeting up somewhere, or running into each other. An actual date where he would pick me up, take me out and then bring me home. I was excited and a little nervous. I didn’t really know this guy and he was going to take me “somewhere?”

During our first few dates, well several of our first dates I was a little unsure about going out with someone I barely knew but I really liked him. To make myself feel more at ease I recruited a chaperone, Giggles. She was more than happy to come along. She loved being included. She let us hold hands and such but kept Ronnie in check. Ok, she kept us both in check and made sure everything was PG rated. She even sat between us in the car. As she said later “You would have so freaked out if it wasn’t.” She was right.

That first night when Ronnie came to pick me up I don’t think he realized that he had to meet my parents before they would allow me to leave with him. My Mom laughed but there was real meaning in her words “Do you think we could let a stranger drive off with our little girl?” He survived. It wasn’t really all that bad considering what other guys had sat through before. My parents liked him right away but they wanted to put a little bit of fear in him.

As I walked up to the passenger side of Ronnie’s car quickly steered me to the Driver’s side. As he opened the door he explaining that his passenger door doesn’t shut right so he doesn’t open it. His car had a front bench seat so it was manageable for me to just slide over. Ronnie quickly got in the car and apologized over and over about the passenger door. He slid in so fast I thought he did this on purpose since I had not reached the other side of the seat yet. Maybe he did it so I would be sitting closer to him. Later on I found out he was telling the truth about the passenger door and admitted that he slid in before I could go any further so I would be closer to him. The engine had real power to it which meant I had to hold on to his arm so I wouldn’t slid around on the seat! We were off to pick up Giggles’ at her house.

At the end of each night, Ronnie always dropped Giggles off first then took me straight home. I don’t know if it was Giggles’ influence and constant warning of “If you hurt her we will hunt you down” or he just had some gentlemanly inclinations but after nearly two weeks of dating every night he still hadn’t kiss me. I was starting to get a complex. Ok, I have told guys before they were not going to kiss me on the first few dates but this was more than two weeks of seeing him every night. Maybe he didn’t want to kiss me?! I confided in my girl friends. “What? He hasn’t even kissed you yet? Like ever? What’s up with that?” or “Oh honey, maybe there is something wrong with him. He seems really nice though.” “Maybe he’s just shy.” What ever the reason was I still wanted to go out with him. We always had a great time and he made me feel wonderful and special even without kissing me. He made my heart pitter patter. All he had to do was look at me and I would smile, giggle a little then feel my cheeks growing pink. I was definitely smitten.

One night while standing at my front door I was expecting a hug but he placed his left hand on the side of my face, I smiled up at him knowing I had a wonderful time just being with him. He, ever so slowly ran his fingers down my neck. My head tilted up unconsciously and just as I was about to giggle from the tickling effect of his gentle fingers, he kissed me. He said something in a sort of whisper but I couldn’t make out what it was. My knees went completely weak and I slunk into his arms. I think I whispered “Oh my” and “W-o-w” It was all I could manage to say. I couldn’t even stand up on my own two feet. I looked up dreamily into his eyes and saw he was completely at ease. He finally propped me up on my own legs and I sort of swayed to and fro for a minute before I some what regained my composure. I remember running my fingers through my hair and saying something like “Um, uh, yeah, I think I should be going now.” I almost walked right in to my Mother’s flower bed instead of the door. He quickly redirected me to the doorway and I said “Um, ok. Well, then. I will see you later.” or something like that. I closed the front door behind me and leaned against it while smiling and taking deep breaths. “Wow.”

One month passed by, Ronnie and I saw each other as much as was humanly possible. If we weren’t together we were at school, work or sleeping. We called each other every single day. We talked so long that my mother started placing a kitchen timer by the phone “Fifteen minutes young lady.” It didn’t take her long to realize I was pushing the timer back a few times. My siblings and even my Dad were trying to talk Mom into getting me my own “Ronnie line” (aka my own phone line).

After many dates with our chaperone Ronnie said “I like Giggles and all but don’t you think we have reached a point where her duties might not be so necessary? Come on, don’t you trust me?” Giggles later asked me where we three were heading that night? I had to break the news to her. Ronnie and I were going to start going out on dates …alone. She was bummed but understood.

Ronnie's Car was a Plymouth Duster.

It all started on April 1, 1985.

2008-06-12T09:55:00.000-07:00

I was a Junior in high school, out with my girlfriends at a local under 21 dance club called Players. It was the kind of place where everyone knew your name. We went as a group every Sunday night. My best friends (Giggles, Huggles, Dizzy-D, Kay-Kay, Flic) and I (Cuddles) were Lefty’s Angles. Who is Lefty? Well, he was the DJ and he always played our requests. He even let us in the DJ booth with him. Yes, really, those were the nick names we gave ourselves. When passing notes in high school you really don’t want your name written on one that might have held private details accidently fall into the wrong hands.

That night I was mad at some boy from Walkersville, I think his name was Brian. He had been hitting on me for about a week or two. Not just a little bit but way-over-the-top hitting on me. It was extremely annoying! My friends and I met him at a Hall and Oats concert where he loaned me his lettermen’s jacket. He took off before I could give it back. This was his plan to make sure I had to see him again. He knew someone at my school who passed his phone number on to me. I called him to find out when and where I could drop off his jacket. Back then we didn’t have Caller ID but we did have *67. This feature would allow you to hear the phone number of the last incoming call. This is how he got my number. Anyway, the jacket was returned and I did not go out with him. He did call a few times but only enough to irritate me.

Any time he came near me at Players I backed him off with the ‘stare of death’ so he would know I meant what I said. In the beginning I tried to be nice but he was persistent and ignored the fact that I repeatedly said “No. I have a boyfriend!” I was not in the mood to deal with guys that night. In addition to seeing Brian at Players, I broke up with my current boyfriend, Jimmy just two days ago.

Jimmy explained that his mother thought he was getting too serious over one girl and we were much too young for that. Apparently, he told his mother his future plans were to finish high school (he went to Frederick High), join the Air Force and marry me right away. His idea to please his mother was for us to see other people. I readily agreed but added that we should take a break. His reaction “Break up! No! That’s not what I meant!” I liked Jimmy but I was not ready to marry him. That was way too serious for 16 year old me. Then there was the issue of you-know-what. He thought since he had proclaimed his love, proposed and had our whole future planned out then it was ok for us to ‘do the deed.’ I was so NOT going to do THAT! I couldn’t even say the word let alone do THAT. No Way! No How! Not a chance! That was Gross! I could say Marriage and Husband and Wife but I still couldn’t say THAT word. What business did I have getting married?

Back to that night at Players - I was a little wisp of a girl so basically anything I wore was cute. I couldn’t pull off sexy to save my life but then again, I preferred cute. I had on little black flats, little Bobbie socks, a black mini skirt (not really all that mini), a white - long sleeved - cotton blouse with a long light blue sweater vest with dark blue stitched edges. All topped off with a cute navy blue, brimmed straw hat. This was my ‘Buster Brown’ hat. In the days where a paisley top and stripped pants were fashionable - together. Well, I was still a bit of a traditionalist when it came to my matching my outfits. I even had a white Swatch watch. Why? For me, even my watch had to be something that traditionally matched anything I might wear.

For some reason people were drawn to my silly hat. Everyone wanted to try it on or try to run off with it. My friends trying on my hat was okay by me but when guys took off with it in an attempt to make me chase them…that was so not cool. “I’ll give you back your hat if you dance with me.” This was not the night for guys to be messing with me or my hat! Good thing we had tall, strong, ever so sweet and lovable David around. He made sure to bring back my hat. But only if I would let him wear it for a little bit. Okay he was a big silly dude. At least I didn’t have to chase after my hat.

Players was a bit of a ‘meat market’ but I felt safe. I had my bestest friends - Lefty’s Angles and my group of guy pals. These were guys I knew from school or church or they were friends with one of my brothers. Some how I established a rule that I would never date a guy from my own school. If they were not from my school then they knew my brothers. It is never ok to date your friend’s sister. Ever. Everyone knew the rules so it was really safe to say that they had no chance of being more than friends. Thus the pressure was off on both sides which allowed us all to have fun clowning around together. My guy pals were also very quick to stand up and be big-brotherly when a guy they didn’t know approached me.

A few times that night I was caught … well, sulking. I was trying to convey my “I hate all men” attitude. This made my guy pals determined to cheer me up. Which lead to a couple of them taking turns literally carrying me to the dance floor kicking and screaming. “Hey! People might see my …my underwear! My hat! You made me drop my hat!” Ok, they did eventually make me laugh about it all and I started to have a really great time.

Eventually, my girl friends and I spotted a group of three guys standing together. Each of them had on a button down shirt, tie and black jacket or coat. One we were sure was gay, one looked like a GQ model and the third guy…he seemed like a guy you could sit by the fire with and everything in the world would be calm and peaceful. He was the Knight in shining armor.

Then I remembered that I hate all men. Why? It was my day to hate all men forever. I was 16 and I was suppose to hate all men every other third day. Right? Also, if a guy had not pissed me off then chances were that a guy had pissed off one of my friends. I had to support my friends right?

After tearing up the dance floor with my friends I decided to put my feet up and take a little break. At our table I ordered a glass of water (only $1 but we thought it was outrageous at the time). Then I noticed that “third guy”, the “Knight” had walked past the table a few times. Where was my group? Where were my guy pals? Just as I was realizing that I was at the table unprotected…Huggles came to the table. She was out of breath but excited and bursting with some good news she just had to tell me!

Before I knew what had happened the “Knight” had walked up to me, very graciously asked if I would dance with him and I actually said Yes! “Did I just agree to dance with that guy? Was it the Knight?” But…I… it was my night to hate all men! Why did I say Yes?

It was the debonair way he asked, not just the normal “Would you dance with me?” I really wish I could remember exactly what he said but I was under his spell. He lead me to the dance floor, put my hands at his shoulders and his at my waist. At first we kept a good distance between us. Due to the large crowds the heat in that place was a bit over whelming. Plus, the fact my hat would have cut into his neck. Eventually, my hat slipped back and my head was resting just below his shoulder. He made the world calm and peaceful, just like I thought he would. We talked a bit while we danced. My Knight’s name was Ronnie Leadore. He was a Senior at Walkersville High School and played on the high school soccer team. The second song came to an end and he thanked me for the dance.

Of course I had to report immediately to my table of friends. They were anxiously awaiting all the details on this new guy who managed to get me out on the dance floor during a slow dance. Without their approval no less. There was squealing and giggles from my girl friends. Giggles reminded us to act our ages. Of course there were a few “You let us know if you want us to take care of him” from my guy pals.

During what was left of the night I danced with my friends, giggled about this and that. Ronnie and his friends would dance in their own little circle next to ours. Time and again Ronnie and I would join the two circles by dancing with each other. When a slow song would come on Ronnie made sure to be close by. Sometimes another guy would reach me first and I would start to make up some story along the lines of “my feet hurt” then my Knight would come and rescue me.

Before we knew it, it was time to go. I had to get out of there quickly since I didn’t want to miss my curfew. On my way out Ronnie asked for my phone number. I did want him to call me but it didn’t seem right to give out my number to someone I had just met. I noticed Brian was standing with Ronnie and his friends. When I asked how they knew each other Ronnie said they were giving Brian a lift home. After all, they were all Walkersville boys. Knowing how Brian wouldn’t want to give up my number I said “Brian knows my number” and I ran out the door with my friends. Well, if he wanted my number surely he should have to work a little for it.

I made it home in time to beat my curfew. Just as I was ready for bed the phone rang. A moment later my mother yelled up the stairs that the phone was for me. I thought it was one of my friends calling to make plans for tomorrow. To my great surprise it was Ronnie! He explained that he had to rough-up Brian a bit before he would cough up my number. He also assured me there were no broken limbs or life threatening injuries.

We talked until 1 a.m. It was wonderful just talking to him. We didn’t talk about any one thing in particular, just talked. During the phone call I found out he worked at Murphy’s Mart in the sporting goods section. I told him I worked at Montgomery Wards in the catalog section. We exchanged information on how many brothers and sisters we have. I have one sister and two brothers. He has three little sisters.

Of course both of our Moms tried to get us off the phone several times. My Mom finally had enough. She stood at my bedroom door, tapping her foot saying “If he really likes you he can call at a decent hour. What sort of boy calls at this time of night? Do you want him to wonder what kind of girl talks to a boy at this time of night?” He heard that last part and said in my defense, something to the effect of the ‘most wonderful girl in the world.’ Covering the receiver I whined “But Mom! You just don’t understand” in a tone only a teenage girl can convey. As soon as I hung up my Mom pulled the phone cord out of the wall and walked out with my phone. She wanted to make sure we didn’t talk any more that night.

The next day at school I told all my girlfriends about how he managed to get my number out of Brian and that we talked until 1 AM! We screamed and giggled about it for a few minutes. Giggles gave me a few stern words “Respectable girls don’t take calls late at night and they never talk to a boy until 1 AM either.” I told her my Mom would like her a lot better right now. Still, I glowed all day. Seriously, I couldn’t stop smiling all day. It was making my girlfriends ill. After dinner Ronnie called. He too couldn’t help from smiling all day!

Months later Ronnie and his Mom recounted the night he met me. He came home busting with excitement. “Mom! I met the most wonderful, most beautiful girl in the world! I was so smooth! So Cool! And she danced with me.” His Mom mentioned how sharply he was dressed that night and Ronnie quoted a ZZTop song “Every girls crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man.”

(to be Continued)

I have made a decision to out myself.

2008-06-12T07:45:00.000-07:00

I have been away from my blog for a long time trying to recuperate from all that went on in May (see the list here).

First I became ill. Then I got better. A co-worker has now introduced a new illness he brought from out of the country. My whole office is now ill. Oh, and I am going on vacation starting Friday. With this terrible awful illness. Reservations have been made and everything was paid in advance. What’s a girl to do? Pray that I am feeling much, much better by Friday night.

That’s right. I was going to out myself, not completely…yet. Although in the next post (ok not the next post but it is coming) you will find out my true first name, my last name has changed a few times since then. No, I am not ready to put that out there for all the internet just yet. Also, I googled my name and so many “others” came up that I feel safe.

My sister was visiting last month and for some reason I started to have vivid recollections of a particular season in my life. During that portion of my life I went through extreme highs and lows. It was the happiest times and the worst of times. It was the most painful time of my life for several reasons but I also remember the blissful happiness. While writing the next few posts I realized how very sheltered my childhood was, even as a teenager. Perhaps all the joy and pain were felt so incredibly as this was the first time in my life I would experience them.

Bounced Out of the Craft Store

2008-05-23T17:34:00.000-07:00

Dear AC Moore,

Thank you for all the years of good service and quality merchandise. It seems I am always looking for just the right item but unable to find exactly what I want. Your stores have allowed me to make what ever it was I was looking for, therefore allowing me to have exactly what I was looking for.

Tonight all of that changed. I will now purchase the items I need on line with another supplier or at Ben Franklin if I need it right away. Why this sudden change?

I know it was almost time for the store to close but I knew exactly what I wanted and where it was (invitation ink stamp). My little girl and I scurried between two employees who were standing fixed in their spots blocking the isle a good deal and reached the stamps (2nd isle in on the left). Quickly I grabbed the stamp I need and a very sweet voice came over the intercom saying “It is now 8:58 and our store will be closing in two minutes. Please bring your purchases to the register.” I was not the only customer in the store. I saw a couple go in just ahead of us. As I bent down to reached for the over sized black ink pad I heard a store clerk say in a very stern voice “Put. That. Back. We. Are. Closed. You‘re gonna have-ta leave.” She was standing at the end of the isle with her arms folded and a very cross look on her face.

She didn’t give me a chance to say anything about the fact that we were ready, the two minutes left announcement or that I would be using a credit card so no one would have to recount their pre-counted registers. I slowly placed the stamp back in it’s place and kept my eyes fixed on the employee as if she were a wild animal and any sudden moves would result in a fatality. I kept Snow White strategically behind me, incase the creature decided to attack.

As Snow White and I walked past the registers to the exist there were 6 or more employees all standing close together with their arms folded, angry-someone-pissed-in-my-cherios-this-morning, haven’t eaten anything all day because of it AND I’m-gonna-eat-you-and-your-little-girl-too looks on their faces It was a mixer of the God Father’s body guards and the Wicket Witch from the Wizard of Oz.

I knew the store was closing and I was going to be quick and not inconvenience anyone. Apparently, they do not want my business and I am personally not welcome.

I admit I went in to the store just before it closed but to be told by an employee “Put. That. Back. We. Are. Closed. You‘re gonna have-ta leave.” That was completely uncalled for. On top of that to have the Giodo squad form a line? Did they really think that little Snow White all dressed in pink was such a danger? What was so important that it couldn’t wait until the store closed?

Not only will I not do my own personal shopping there but I will no longer purchase supplies for our Brownie and Girl Scout Troops at your store. I will also tell my parents who will tell all the organizations they participate in who will no doubt advise them to stop using your stores. My sister and brothers will also do the same. I plan on telling everyone I work with about my experience at your store. The last time a store pissed me off in such a manner (actually it was worse) they were out of business the very next month (smaller East coast chain). I am by no means saying I have “pull” but word of mouth carries more weight than any other form of advertisement. Should those who read this post stop buying from their local AC Moore? Only if your service is as poor as what was experienced by me on this night.

In retrospect…..

I had planned to use Fans as invitations for Snow White’s Birthday party. This way she could discretely pass out invitations at school where she sees most of her friends. The fans I ordered (because no one way out here in the country has paper fans) arrived with printing on both sides. Thus I would not have been able to use the meanie AC Moore invitation ink stamp.

Was this God’s way of saying to me “You have spent ENOUGH on this party! Stop it already!”

Given that I did a break down of last year’s expenses for Snow White birthday bash I will do the same this year. You wont believe what I went through to get it all together this year. The party looks simple enough from the photos I posted but there are so many more photos I didn’t post.

P.S. I haven’t visited the AC Moore shop since that dreadful night. Still a bit pissed at the pissy attitude.